AIBU to be baffled a mum had no idea the school fayre was happening?

[xAwaywiththefairiesx]

Today my daughter's primary school had a spring fayre after school on the school field. Ice cream van, face-painting, various stalls with games, the usual. All arranged by the PTA to raise money for the school.
There was a mufti day today, and the children were asked to bring a donation to the school as an exchange for the mufti, something like cakes to sell or a teddy for the tombola or a bottle of wine as a prize or something.
One mum wanders onto the field after school, with both of her kids in mufti, looking around bewildered saying "What's this? Is this a new thing they're doing? Will it be every week?"

And this is so weird to me because the spring fayre has been organised for months. We have lots of emails asking for donations, several more asking for volunteers, we've had at least three leaflets home about it, and she obviously got the memo about mufti, the whole point in which was for the school fayre!

My phone own child has been banging on about it for three weeks.

How can she get so unaware? I'm not judging, honestly, I'm just baffled how it got past her.

Is it just me? Could you miss something like this after all that communication?

Oh Ffs I said I googled it and that’s what came up!! That is after I’d read the other op’s first post Jesus Christ! Stop making a mountain out of a molehill! I was more baffled why op then decided to continue talking about it after realising people didn’t know what she meant and then went on to say “Non uniform day" is such a weird, boring and clunky way to say it” when most people have only ever known it as non uniform day. And out of all the posts I made on this thread you chose to quote me about one point I made and keep going on about it. You clearly came in here and quoted me to start an argument. Get a life!

So what? And yes I will. I’m not going to allow people who come on MN to just start silly petty little arguments with me just because they like to act big and tough behind a keyboard

You're doing exactly what they are doing. You are clinging on to certain words and phrases and arguing about them in an extremely petty way.
Then others are doing the exact same thing back to you and you're telling them to "get a life".
You are all as bad as each other in that respect.
Except you are worse, because you think you're innocent and just being picked on, which is bullshit.

You continued to quote "wilful ignorance" in a very angry way without the context of it.

I will leave you to your rage about it.

Yeah, I would. Otherwise we'll be here all day.

“You're doing exactly what they are doing”

And so are you…..

Oh ffs and you’re back again 🤣🤣🤣
I’ll also leave you to rage about people who you perceive as showing “wilful ignorance”
GET A LIFE!!!!

Why is it so difficult for to to comprehend that for some parents their life doesn’t revolve around school fund raisers.
Mum had children at school on time in non uniform - she is dong well.

I recall the PTA secretary saying people often don’t read beyond the first couple of paragraphs of her emails.

OP - all these people complaining about the PTA would soon be moaning if it folded. When they are asked to pay more towards school trips, when the children don’t get a treat at Easter, when the school says they can’t afford new books or tablets. PTAs work hard to raise funds and also do it in a way that is fun for school families. Fairs are also a great way to socialise as a school outside of an educational remit.

It doesn’t have to revolve around it, just some awareness would be nice!

.

Oh FFS, uploaded the wrong bloody leaflet. Mumsnet, please delete that.

It might be in certain areas of the county or something. I’d never heard of the word mufti and was wondering what on earth it was! Clearly a lot of others hadn’t heard of it either.

I made a point about being asked to contribute more to school trips earlier. I gave an example of where the school contributed £80 per child for a school residential trip where the kids would be staying over for a couple of nights (full cost was £180 per child so parents had to contribute the other £100). It’s all very well and good… but the ‘fund raiders’ that were organised so that the school had enough to contribute their £80 per child meant that parents had to spend £20 per costume for 4 separate dress up days, buy tat at Easter fairs and spend money on raffles… meaning that the money those parents contributed to the school funds came to more than it would have done if those parents had paid the full £180 themselves. We actually spend more money in donations and dress up days so the school could fund their £80 per child.

I think that’s very judgemental of you. Her kids will have told her about mufti day. She has overlooked the rest of it.

Oh get over yourself, it’s a school fate not Glastonbury. You need to get a life.

Then the PTA is doing things very wrong! Dress up days are not usually a PTA thing and at ours, we wouldn’t dream of expecting people to pay out for things like that. Mufti/non uniform is one thing but themed dress up is a lot! People do give more though if they are getting something back - chance to win, cake/drink, entertainment for the children etc.

Ive lost count if thr tines ive walked dc to school and realised by other kids" clothes it was non uniform/ dress up day and rusjed back hone to change.
My youngest used to crumple up her letters and back then i was never on social media .
It happens!

That's bad management by your school/PTA and I agree, ridiculous.

We don't do dress up days for precisely that reason.

Either way the parents are contributing to funding their child to go on these school trips. The ‘school funds’ are there because the parents contributed to it and the money came out of the parent’s pockets. It’s all very well saying the schools fund this and that but ultimately the funds come from the parents anyway regardless. And we usually have to splash out more money to help fund the schools to pay for our children to have go on these school trips than we would if we had to pay the full price ourselves. That’s my point!

And parents are absolutely sick and tired of having to remember Xmas fair, Easter fair, spring fair, summer fair, dress as a pop star day, Xmas play, assemblies, end of year play, Disney dress up day, dress as a Victorian day, comic relief, children in need, world book day, national {insert special day here} day, none of which existed 20 years ago! It’s relentless and costs parents a ridiculous amount of money. It’s alright saying ‘schools need donations’ but what about the £££s parents are having g to spend per costume and then make a contribution to the school for sending them in said costume that school have asked us to do. Where’s the help from schools in being considerate to families who don’t earn much money to fund all this shit! It’s ridiculous!

Schools always say they would never dream of expecting parents to pay for all these things but all they’re doing by organising these days is putting the pressure and expectation on the parents. The thought of having your child feeling left out because they didn’t go dressed as a robot and everyone else did is putting pressure on the parents whilst telling them “we don’t expect parents to buy anything or spend money on these outfits” is basically the school secretly guilt tripping people. Same goes for the rest of the events they organise

I don't know what to tell you. It literally does take months. We start planning and organising after the Christmas break, so January, for a fayre/fayre/fete/torture chamber happening in May.

More planning goes into these things than you realise.

And that's fine, no one made me do it.

It's just upsetting when people are so nasty about it

Don’t be nasty and create a thread judging someone because they didn’t know it was on then. You reap what you sow.

Actually the parents don't fund it all. A significant portion of the money we raised at school fayres cones from our local business sponsors. They pay us to put them at the bottom of our leaflets and posters regarding the fayre, and some have banners on the stall they chose to sponsor. One year a local car dealership gave us £500 just to put one of their cars in the middle of the playground for an hour during the fayre. They want all the families coming to the fayre to see that.
The cafe next door donates cakes. Tesco donate all the food for the BBQs. Which is a lot.
It's also not just parents and families of the school that buy things at the fayre, families with kids at other schools often come along as do residents that live nearby.
Whatever way you look at it, the maths has been done. Events are worth it and make money for the school that the school desperately needs.

And as already explained, that's your school. We never ask anyone to dress up. In fact, we fund the nativity costumes!!!

There's a big difference between talking about a surprising comment you overheard, with the person likely having no idea and being unaffected and directly telling someone what they do is shit, pointless and you're mostly likely an annoying self righteous hair flipper.