AIBU to be baffled a mum had no idea the school fayre was happening?

[xAwaywiththefairiesx]

Today my daughter's primary school had a spring fayre after school on the school field. Ice cream van, face-painting, various stalls with games, the usual. All arranged by the PTA to raise money for the school.
There was a mufti day today, and the children were asked to bring a donation to the school as an exchange for the mufti, something like cakes to sell or a teddy for the tombola or a bottle of wine as a prize or something.
One mum wanders onto the field after school, with both of her kids in mufti, looking around bewildered saying "What's this? Is this a new thing they're doing? Will it be every week?"

And this is so weird to me because the spring fayre has been organised for months. We have lots of emails asking for donations, several more asking for volunteers, we've had at least three leaflets home about it, and she obviously got the memo about mufti, the whole point in which was for the school fayre!

My phone own child has been banging on about it for three weeks.

How can she get so unaware? I'm not judging, honestly, I'm just baffled how it got past her.

Is it just me? Could you miss something like this after all that communication?

This one made me properly lol 🤣
honestly OP, how this thread has become some insane PTA bashing, colonialism debating, nonsense, I really don’t know?!
I thought your initial question was totally reasonable. In that is it odd that somebody that noticed one part of a communication (to send their children to school in non-uniform that day), somehow managed to not see the other part (that there was a school fayre on that same day).
I can only guess that her astonishment was faux, or that she didn’t read any of the comms and was only told about the “mufti” (this word is also new to me, but I’m not going to lose sleep over it), by her kids, because maybe they also hadn’t listened or noticed that there was a school fayre or weren’t arsed about going or something. (And I’d also agree with the use of fayre being applicable in this context, but again, wouldn’t get emotional over the use of fair in the same context because I’m sure we could understand what event you’re referring to).
schools are in increasingly sticky situations financially, and events like this are essential for them to be able to provide the lovely things a great many of us take for granted, like equipment, and to be able to retain valuable staff members, as you mention, sadly it is vanishingly unlikely that parents will start periodically donating to schools for this reason.
I’m going so far as to say thank you OP and your co-organisers. And to those who feel like these events are tiresome or too frequent, lucky for you, you only need to contribute to the ones that your children want to engage with, but still get to benefit from the funds they raise.

The question is would you have been so surprised if it was a Dad that had been so clueless? I wouldn’t have been because im general men can be a bit clueless about ut all. My husband doesn’t read most of the school emails/ newsletters etc. I only tell him what I think he really needs to know. Perhaps in their family its Dad who keeps track?

I’m not with my kids dad anymore but he tends to get the same emails/ messages/ notifications from school that I do. However, the expectation from him is that I ‘sort it all’ while he appears completely oblivious to it all and washes his hands of any duty to do with school. But men seem to get away with it a lot more.

I have 3 kids at school and am constantly amused by the things that get missed/forgotten about by some parents. I have an old school paper calendar in the kitchen and everything gets written on it. Both me and DH work as well. I think some parents do it for attention ( and I know of some who do this). If she knew enough to do non uniform, then she probably chose not to make a donation

lol at the woman’s reaction being faux 😬

Oh BEHAVE 😂

The OP has clearly taken on board the many comments on this thread and didn't expect it to get so long and go off on so many tangents. It's moved on. She was chatting to other PTA members about PTA things and handcrafted birdhouses, but you and others and seizing every opportunity to jump in with your nasty comments, like she is relentlessly defending her position when she's really not. You absolutely have been condescending and worse. You are bullies. And it's embarrassing as you are presumably grown women.

The things that have been said to the OP far far far exceed what she has said. She commented on something surprising she overheard. You lot have trashed everything she does that's important to, directly insulted her and made nasty assumptions about her and other PTA members you don't even know.

And ffs "said she looked like she's from outer space" you are seriously clutching at straws there, and you must know it. She wasn't insinuating the women looked like a bloody Martian. She was clearly saying she looked lost and confused.

Seriously get over yourself.

Easy! She’s not in the WhatsApp groups, doesn’t use the expressions/seesaw/google classroom apps and her kid doesn’t take letters home!

An actual sensible, reasonable comment!

I think if the dad is the one who usually does pickup/drop off, then yes, I’d expect him to be aware of school activities.

Yes I understand why she said it - where did I imply I thought she meant it literally. It’s a nasty thing to say.

It was a comment overheard, so not even OP’s business really. I’m genuinely shocked that someone who is clearly an intelligent person would truly be unable to imagine why someone might only have remembered half of what was going on.

OK, so you're truly shocked.

That's doesn't excuse you and the people who agree with you being so mean about me and all PTAs for over 30 pages.

I was talking to someone else about a specific subject and you couldn't wait to jump in with your sly, backhanded little digs.

They're right. You are a bully.

Only three pages to go OP 😂🫣

Bring it on 😞

As a working parent with 2 kids at 2 different schools the admin burden is insane so can see how easily someone could’ve missed this.

Oh and you know something else? I've had three different lovely people privately messaged me to offer support after what they've read directed at me. They are PTA members too and have received the same level of abuse online. None of them want to say anything on here in case they also get targeted by you nasty lot
Some of you need to seriously examine your feelings and why you project them so much.

I'm in Manchester and I heard mufti as a child. The word has always made me cringe a bit though! 😬 I've always called it own clothes day!

And you are entitled to your opinion.

I have no skin in the game regarding PTAs. I’m intelligent enough to understand that some people have shit going on in their lives.

If you were the woman who was the subject of the OP and you came across this thread, I don’t think it would be the people who agree with me who would be seen as the bullies.

The woman knows nothing about it. It is perfectly normal to talk about strange things you have overheard while out and about.
It is a very different kettle of fish to directly insult a person.
Surely you are intelligent enough to see the difference, but if not it has in fact been pointed out several times already.

I would pay good money to be this blissfully ignorant. Poster. Not the parent that wasn't aware.

Non uniform

Absolutely this, I just about kept abreast of things with my eldest, when my younger son began school I felt the wheels fell off! My husband and I both work full time and sometimes we miss things, I have been guilty of racing up to the school after the children have been dropped off, because I forgot odd socks day!

I have no idea as to why or how this thread has transmogrified into this persistent discussion/agrument on this subject matter.

I'm out.

Good luck OP. I think that you're going to need it.

Non uniform day I think different areas call it different things as I have family in other areas who call it mufti but I have always called it non uniform

It's not local slang, it's a normal word. People say it about adults too - like if you're used to seeing someone in a work uniform and then for once they're not, you might say "it was weird seeing him in mufti". I've heard it and seen it in books and newspapers and heard it in tv shows etc all my life. It would never have occurred to me that anyone raised in the UK wouldn't know it.

Possibly because it’s not a word used in the whole of the UK.

This is the first time I have ever, ever heard it being used for non uniform day.

If someone uses the word mufti where I live, we would assume it was another slang word for a fanny.