to think more people just have zero self-discipline now?

[catchingup1]

It genuinely feels like self-discipline has gone out the window lately.

So much is instant. Food, shopping, entertainment, attention. A lot of people so are not able to just sit with something uncomfortable anymore or stick at anything that requires effort. If something is a bit hard, boring or inconvenient it’s immediately abandoned. Diet? Too hard. Exercise? Can’t be bothered. Even basic stuff like replying to messages or turning up on time feels optional now.

Before anyone jumps in, yes life is stressful and people are busy, I get that. But that’s always been the case in different ways. It feels like the default response now is to avoid anything that requires a bit of discipline or delayed gratification.

Even kids, and I’m not blaming them, but they’re growing up in a world where everything is on demand. Patience and self-control aren’t being built in the same way.

I’m not saying everyone is like this. But the general attitude feels very “do what feels good right now” rather than “do what’s actually good for you long term”.

I also think some things are (at least partly) addictive, and people might not feel like they have much to look forward to.

I'm specifically thinking about things like deliveries, junk food, fast fashion etc., feeling low? Have some junk food. Then dieting becomes especially hard because food is an emotional regulator AND you're dealing with the UPF cravings.

It’s probably not just whether the end result was worth it or not,’regarding the studying. I imagine you probably enjoyed the brain work out too.

i was thinking after reading your post that, whilst it’s been a long time since I studied for a qualification, and I’m retired so no longer making my brain work for money, I read books that I sometimes struggle to the end of, am learning a language, will do puzzles and crafts that require some discipline. But like you, no I don’t want to spend ages cooking a meal, too many years doing that, and now I don’t have to.

Genuine question - what is the ‘batch cooking stage of life’??? What age does this happen? And how do people know it’s time?

Okay the last two were slightly facetious but I have never met anyone who admits to batch cooking - for some reason I envisage a ton of mince 🤣

look at tv shows previously had to wait a week per ep, now with netflix etc whole seasons

Takeaways aren’t the problem. Next day delivery on a fruit bowl isn’t the problem (obviously, what an odd thing to focus on). What is emerging as a pattern, however, is a generalised drop in individual and collective resilience because instant gratification is everywhere, and few of us escape it. Don’t like the song that’s playing? Ask Alexa to skip it or tap a button on your phone - no need to get up to fast forward the tape or adjust the record. Enjoyed an episode of something on TV? No need to wait for next week, it’s right there on the streaming service. Child wants more Bluey? Cool, there are seasons and seasons of it. Need a new fruit bowl?(!) No need to go to the shopping centre when you have time, you can just order for home delivery. No one is saying that these things or wrong or mean that you’re a lazy person and should be criticised; it’s just the case that society makes things so much more instant that we do not have to sit with unmet needs in nearly the same way. And to answer a PP’s point, wealth makes this even easier but at the same time, not having money to spend doesn’t avoid all of these scenarios (text a friend instead of waiting for them to be at home to answer a call to their landline, check your bank balance online instead of going to a cash point or a bank for a balance, etc)

People being defensive about being accused of being lazy are missing the point, I think. It’s not about being lazy or about the saintliness of opting for a harder life, it’s just how the evolution of technology allows us to have our needs met more readily

You have summed up all my issues into one here. I have no self discipline. Problem is how do you get it lol

I got so caught up in reading replies that I lost sight of the OP’s original wording - I think “zero self-discipline” is unfair and doesn’t recognise the nuances around the creation of this situation by corporations looking to sell things. I’d say that a lack of resilience is more accurate (and less judgy)

I agree. It was poorly worded.

@catchingup1Dr Rangan Chatterjee has an interesting podcast on this. It’s been a while since I listened to it but I think it’s Episode 561 from 3rd June 2025, if you’re interested in having a listen

Thank you. I will check it out. I must have missed that one. I do subscribe to his podcast.

@catchingup1let me know if that one doesn’t seem to be the right one and I’ll have another look. I remember it really resonating with me. I liked it because it didn’t feel judgy and reductive; it’s more of an analysis on how change is impacting us and how we can try to counter it.

This is why I have silly things like waiting for a season to start before celebrating it, and think keeping things special and only for certain times of the year is important.

I want my kids to learn patience, and gratitude, and actually enjoy things as treats they can look forward to, something special, not just as something you can have on a whim whenever you feel like it.

Christmas is for December. Apple crumble is for Autumn. Strawberries are for Summer. And no it isn't OK to have a leg of lamb flown half way across the globe just because you fancy it. It's for Spring.

This is an alien concept to many. The "do whatever makes you happy, have whatever you want, whenever you want" brigade have gone too far. Convenience and instant gratification comes at a cost and we need to be MUCH more mindful of that.

@catchingup1it is that episode - I’ve started to listen to it. They discuss it through a lens of neuroscience too, which is interesting.

Fully agree OP. I try hard to instil a sense of discipline and duty in my kids but we are battling a tide of US-induced instant gratification / you’re worth it type culture and junk - trashy movies, junk food, starter marriages. No quality. Nothing enduring.

Something I find amazing is the greed - both monetary and food-wise. Numerous people saying they have lost 5, 6, 7, 8 even 10 stone on mounjaro. I fully appreciate processed foods have changed our eating habits but how does someone consistently eat so much that they double in size? And did they not look in the mirror at some point and think “perhaps I’ll dial it back a bit.” Weren’t they taught that more than two biscuits is greedy and a bit unseemly?!?

It's the same things everyone complains about as they get old and more aware of it.

The country is going to the dogs etc

Everyone thinks the latest youth are worse than they were, it's just aging and a world become more unfamiliar than the one you grew up with.

This is a perfect example of the sanctimonious, snide responses that shut down any conversation other than polarised arguments whereby people become defensive. It denotes something of a lack of imagination to be able to even contemplate how someone might come to be very overweight, and a real lack of self-awareness to recognise how spouting such a judgemental attitude might be counterproductive to societal change. Still, I hope you enjoy basking in the glory of being so utterly perfect and disciplined… (although I’m curious about your “US-induced comment - are there no other countries or nationalities responsible for technological advances and convenience-related tools?)

People have said the same thing about the generation after them since time began.

There is a famous quote from 700bc over 2,700 years ago:

'I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the frivolous youth of today…'

Then there's-

Ancient Rome — Cicero (1st century BC)
“The times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents'

Then -

Medieval period — Peter the Hermit (often attributed, c. 1200s)
' The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age.'

It's so BORING how every generation just continues this crap and thinks it's something new.

Well, you didn't have the self discipline to not start a goady thread.

Do you find being perfect exhausting?

People may have always complained about the next generation but I can’t recall a time when things have changed so fast and so measurably for the worse - kids not in school, number of kids in nappies at schools, rapid rise in debilitating mental health problems and it’s not just children and the next generation - it’s across generations

It’s the nature of the beast, I think. The last 50 years have brought massive changes in so many ways, it’s bound to have some drawbacks to counter the many advantages.

i don’t think you can blame the speed of the world on the fact that kids are still in nappies at school though.

People must enjoy cold food then!!

You know, I actually think there is a link there. As a parent working full time, it was very hard to find time to potty train properly. One of my kids just picked it up, the other did not (boy..,did she not.) I was on maternity leave so able to devote a huge amount of time to it when she was 3, but I can’t really imagine what would have happened if I’d not been on leave.
It’s a thought…

Each generation has new research to take into account and this generation seems to adopt a less proactive approach.

Before disposable nappies, I think parents were more motivated to train their children as having to wash nappies (esp when many people didn’t have a washing machine) was a huge ballache.

Women of my mother’s generation (boomer) were often working full time as well as running a home, yet their children were trained at 2 and often started school with not only the basic dressing skills but also the ability to read, write and do simple arithmetic.

Parents perhaps have less time because the world is more child centric, so instead of leaving the kids to roam, for example, they are spending their time running them to the extra curricular activities, and supervising them more whereas, other than brownies/cubs etc, children were left to entertain themselves.

Also mat leave wasn’t as long so perhaps they didn’t have the luxury of using some of that time to, say, train an older sibling