to think more people just have zero self-discipline now?

[catchingup1]

It genuinely feels like self-discipline has gone out the window lately.

So much is instant. Food, shopping, entertainment, attention. A lot of people so are not able to just sit with something uncomfortable anymore or stick at anything that requires effort. If something is a bit hard, boring or inconvenient it’s immediately abandoned. Diet? Too hard. Exercise? Can’t be bothered. Even basic stuff like replying to messages or turning up on time feels optional now.

Before anyone jumps in, yes life is stressful and people are busy, I get that. But that’s always been the case in different ways. It feels like the default response now is to avoid anything that requires a bit of discipline or delayed gratification.

Even kids, and I’m not blaming them, but they’re growing up in a world where everything is on demand. Patience and self-control aren’t being built in the same way.

I’m not saying everyone is like this. But the general attitude feels very “do what feels good right now” rather than “do what’s actually good for you long term”.

It’s a discussion site or do you not want a discussion?

I love Deliveroo and if I can afford it order myself lots of instant gratification treats.

I’m also extremely disciplined and train for and run 100 mile ultra marathons.

The only way I see the two as connected is that deliveroo frees up my time to be disciplined in ways that matter to me

My great gran smoked 40 a day and was an alcoholic. Not much self discipline going on there.

my gran was a ww2 traumatised member of the silent generation. She smoked 40
a day, didn’t drink and worked 5 hours a day for her whole life. The only other thing she did was play bingo.

no childcare for her grandchildren, couldn’t drive, no education, no work responsibilities, no hobbies, her cooking from scratch was sausages mash potato and peas, or steak pie and potato, or corned beef and egg.

it’s absolutely blowing my mind that you’re claiming people like her had self discipline 😭

I love my older relatives but they weren’t paradigms of self-virtue, why should they be though.

In no way, shape or form does this apply to the majority of Deliveroo users and everyone knows it.

Why does a deliveroo equal a lack of self discipline though?

DH ordered one for our dinner tonight, normally we would go out but he’s has worked till 1am most nights the last wk or so due to it being financial year end. He’s exhausted and I’ve barely seen him.

Again, what time period are you comparing this all to?

YABU because this is a massive over generalisation and also very unkind. You can’t possibly have any idea about how many people this is true for.

I think it's more that people are more wrapped up in themselves. 'Main character energy' or whatever the phrase of the day is. From the increase in poor road behaviour and running red lights, to using phones in the cinema, to 'I don't owe anybody anything'.

I don't think some of your examples are part of that - I don't think everyone has to be immediately contactable, in fact I think expecting people to be immediately responsive to messages is more part of the above.

I think we also have an issue in that society has decided if you're not good at something, there's no point. You have to hit expert level in no time, it doesn't matter what it is - kids in sport, taking up a hobby, trying DIY, taking fitness classes. People are getting ripped apart endlessly for not being the absolute best example. So why would anyone realising they're not great at something stick with it?

Yes of course I meant people exactly like your great gran 🙄

Well we all know who you meant. Fantasy people who don’t exist but you think help
you with your rose tinted “people today are all shit” narrative.

I’m not saying everyone is like this - from my OP.

I don't know why people are pretending you've said something mental. Society has changed, that's a fact. The basic changes you have pointed to in terms of gratification are pretty well recognised.

Maybe people don't like self accountability?

70% also saying I am not being unreasonable at the moment.

Society has changed, that's a fact.

I haven’t disputed this, I just do not think a lack of self discipline is why society has changed

Like everything it's about moderation. Do I get food delivered every now and then? Yes. Do I cook from scratch pretty much every day? Also yes. Deliveries are a treat. Maybe once a month.

And I agree that work, purpose and routine are good. My DS is disabled, is never going to improve because his condition is genetic. He works part time and will never be able to do more than that, but his job gives him earnings, social contact, a routine and a sense of accomplishment.

Lastly, the 'we want instant gratification' absolutely also applies to politics. How many people on this thread are whinging elsewhere that the current government hasn't yet brought about the land of milk and honey? That they are still pointing out the shitshow they inherited after almost two years in power? Maybe those whingers should remember that Rishi Sunak was still whining about 'the mess Labour left us in' in 2022 - after 12 years of his party being in power. So let's all learn a little patience and discipline.

And zero personal responsibility

I do agree that more people are wrapped up in themselves. It is even that there is much more litter in the past few years around my local roads.

It sounds more like the OP has an issue with the times in which we live.

Life is faster now of course but on the other hand - does it matter? you don’t have to go along with it, you can delay your own gratification to your heart‘s content.

I know litter/bad road etiquette is grim. But some people have always thought they don’t owe anyone anything (and they are right, whether or not that sounds acceptable).

The attitude of having to be an expert in something immediately however is not new. I was at school in the 70s and 80s and, particularly with sport, you were ‘good’ or ‘hopeless’. And all those ‘hopeless’ people never did sport from the minute they left school

Interesting, isn't it? I grew up in the Netherlands and that culture of 'good or hopeless' just didn't exist. Partly because the school system is very different, but also because the class system in the Netherlands was wiped out by WW2.

I was so, so bad at sport at school. Then I went to university, took up fencing and became good enough that I was in the club team that was national champion 7 years running and that I fenced at European Cup level several times. I'm a firm believer that everyone is good at something; you just have to work out what it is and then put in the hard work.

I agree everyone is good at something. And the good thing about leaving school was that I could drop the things I was crap at 😬 The first thing j dropped was sport - I haven’t done an organised sport for 40 years - I still hate exercise because I was told so many times I was bad at it.

Sadly it took over 30 years to discover what I was good at (the subject didn’t exist at school) and another 10 before I could do it full time but better late than never !🤣

I completely agree, i fell down the rabbit hole of my 600lb life on FB and it’s shocking truly shocking a totally disgusting. I had gotten a bit lazy lately and it’s given me a kick up the backside to go back to my usual healthy lifestyle & cooking good nutritional food. (ps if anyone is going to watch it, you’ll need a strong stomach)

Because what exactly as you seeing as the positive outcome of delayed self-gratification? Why is it a moral issue?