Modern life is overwhelming

[Stressedoutwest]

Probably self-explanatory, but there is just so much going on at any time. Constant notifications from the schools, working too much, life admin, chores etc etc etc. AiBU or just not coping as well as others?

But surely it's a choice to attend at least half of this stuff

The trick is to figure out what's actually necessary for survival and what's extras.

@PlumPlumbI had three in three different schools and didn’t have as much admin as you seem to have. Perhaps as a parent collective this is something to be discussed with the school?

@crackofdoomhopefully most of us don’t let life happen to us and make decisions to suit? What is compulsory and what is optional? If you can’t outsource some things maybe some of the optional activities need to go?

Stick some in the freezer. Behind a pack of frozen peas. Won't get swigged down quite so fast. As it's defrosting there be enough defrosted for a cup of tea but not a pint glass of milks

Besides if the kids are drinking it at that speed why can't they go to the shop and buy more

Why are you helping with their GCSE homework? Are you a teacher? Surely by that age they should be able to sort it themselves or if there's something they don't understand then they should ask the teachers

I just have no idea what some schools are doing!!! The whole of april my dc’s school sent 13 messages.
a few were just the weekly news from the teacher with pics
a few were reminders about a sports coach arriving the next day.
one was to wish a student good luck in a comp.
and a few were about various early closures etc.

my dc do 4 clubs between them. Thats enough. They start at 6:30/7 in the eve so still time to cook, so homework etc.

they do homework by themselves mostly- I ask my ds his spellings and that’s it.

after that I have uniform to last the whole week -I do all my laundry on a Saturday.

I have no cleaner- my house is tidy and clean.
I cook from scratch Every Eve.
We both work full time…i think it’s as overwhelming as you let it tbh

I was thinking back and I don't remember endless notes. There were notes for things like a school trip or parents evening but there could only have been at most 2 or 3 of those a term. If I wanted to join an after school club I went home and asked my mum and then just turned up the next week. The last day of term we could wear our own clothes and bring in a toy/game but that didn't get a note either. There wasn't really costume/theme days like there are now. Any homework that there was I was expected to just do myself; my parents didn't get involved (other than saying "have you done your homework?").
I took myself to school from age 7 (even when I changed schools at 9, to a school necessitating a bus ride to get there) so no parental involvement there. My mother was also a SAHM as it was perfectly possible to survive on one salary and I genuinely have no idea what she did all day once her children were at school.

I can't believe nobody has replied 'Modern Life is Rubbish'.

I don't know why I posted

These threads always result in the super mums telling the rest of us that we must be doing it wrong because they can manage to be a full time brain surgeon, cook from scratch every night, have piles of clean folded school uniform, pick the children up every night and get all the home work done etc etc and life is lovely and stress free 😆

No accounting or recognition at all for the intricacies of people's lives that might mean they don't have the same resources to cope with it all for whatever reason.

In my case it's a job that means people die if I don't do it correctly. No family help, no help from the DCs other parent. Auto immune conditions and other external responsibilities that also pull on my time and energy. Not everyone's lives are the same!!

Out of those 13 messages how many were actually needed? Why do you need to know a sports coach is coming. Weekly news is just guff, anything kids want to tell you they will.

The good luck message is irrelevant ( unless it's your kid)

So only the early closure messages were necessary really

But fully agree with you at only being as overwhelming as you make it.

My kids homework was their responsibility If it involved me having to do it then it's not THEIR homework is is. ( Listening to reading being the exception) Secondary school if they didn't do it then they had to deal with the consequences . I've still never forgotten DD1s maths teacher telling me I HAD to make DD do ger homework. Strangely enough she had no suggestions exactly HOW I could make her do it. Yes she had to stay in but shed happily sit at the table and just refuse

Clubs? Well they went brownies or cubs in village hall 2 mins down rd. . No big deal. And did more stuff once they got to secondary on the proviso of they joined these things it was their responsibility to get themselves to and from them

So making sure I wasn't overwhelmed by doing a load of unnecessary stuff

Not supermum by why are the parents doing homework?

Oh and if you wash school shirts / tops and put on hangers at 5/6pm then generally are dry next morning

Because they can't work out how to do it themselves because they have a shit mum who is failing at mumming.

That's what I tell myself in the shower anyway.

To be fair, we needed to know the coach was coming so we could send them in with a gumshield. Yeah the rest is pretty much guff. I just read briefly and close the message.

I like “modern life”

Mind you I am anally organised and tidy, so that probably helps

What great advice! Why didn't I ever think of cancelling Tarquin's fencing lessons and selling Jemima's pony so we can afford a gardener?

Silly me 😆😆😆

Your issue isn’t modern life @PlumPlumb . you very clearly have marriage issues that are weighing you down

I agree 100%. Dh and I talk about this often. In both our careers in companies he has worked and in the education sector where I work, job roles have been removed endlessly and replaced by technology. What you end up with is all the admin previously handled by assistants and secretaries is now your job. All the support in schools is now the teachers job. Technology just creates layers and layers of work for every bit of time it saves. Everything needs a password, authentication apps, signing up to accounts before you can do anything just so companies can harvest your data.

I used to like life when you didn't need to download an app to be able to park, or order food in a restaurant. When you didn't get a billion emails a day. When could ring a number and speak to a human. My brain is so overstimulated all the time.

Likewise!

Not supermum by why are the parents doing homework?

My parents helped with my homework when I was a dc & sometimes my dc need help. Helping isn’t doing & why wouldn’t you help if able?

I only have space for a small freezer so we found that didn’t work.

Because my eldest is too young to go the shops at the times we invariably realise we have run out of milk.

Sure

but for it to be as exhausting and intensive for it to be listed as a reason for feeling like crying every day through exhaustion is… unusual

@Heisrevising Im not sure what post you are reading but that is not my impression. And I didn’t see anyone say they did all their dcs homework.

The original poster listed helping her primary kids with homework as one of the reasons why she find herself crying with exhaustion most days

I go into a deep trance when I crochet. Need both hands for it so I don't miss my phone. It's great.

Again I can’t see where the OP said she was crying with exhaustion most days.

And I can’t see where anyone said they did their dcs homework 🤷🏻‍♀️