Modern life is overwhelming

[Stressedoutwest]

Probably self-explanatory, but there is just so much going on at any time. Constant notifications from the schools, working too much, life admin, chores etc etc etc. AiBU or just not coping as well as others?

Yep. And AI is turbo charging this. Because it reduces the amount of time it takes to get white collar work done (desktop research, writing, formatting) it should in theory save time but it just increases the expectation that you will get more done faster.

Doesn’t impact school comms (yet) but its the general principle that the more “time saving” technology you have to get tasks done the more expectation there is that you will run on a hamster wheel to show you can keep up with the technology.

OMG yes. I’m utterly exhausted. Once the kids are in bed there is just no energy at all left. Drop off, work, WhatsApp group about parties/events/school, sporting activities, competitions for sporting activities, what uniform variation it is for the partic day, assembly’s, homework, spellings, swimming lessons. Paying for all of this plus after school club, before school club and countless other things for school. Washing, meal planning, present buying, booking holiday camps before the scramble.
Rinse and Repeat.

DH had to run out for milk this morning super early as we had run out. This is despite us both going to shop yesterday.

Im finding things overwhelming at the moment, there is just so much to juggle.

@Teainapinkcup Mothers of children with autism or extra needs has always been a much more demanding role . It can be so isolating as well and nothing can prepare you for what is necessary. And because each child is different it is hard to access exactly what your child needs . Hardest job of all I think . 💐

My mum didn’t work when I was young & stayed p/t. That made a big difference to having time during the day for us to do other stuff when we were at school.

I also think school was far less demanding & she didn’t need to supervise us all the time.

Yes! I have two and it’s something on every other day! I swear they make up a lot of this nonsense too. They often wear specific colors for nonsense made up days.
My kids are in private school and they are forever fundraising for some charity and we the parents need to buy this and that!

I work in tech. AI can code something for me in minutes, then it takes me a few hours to understand what it just did and to remove bits that don’t make sense and then even longer to fix bugs because I don’t understand what is happening in the first place.

Then the QA has more work than ever to test, so you start doing something else. Then you end up with multiple things on the go. And after all that it takes about the same amount of time to actually finish anything.

YANBU I can’t even check out a basket because things sell out under me and I have to wearily search again for replacements.

Yanbu. Everyone I know is struggling to cope at the moment....primary school aged children

As pp said tech doesn’t seem to have made my life easier

Agree. Both mentally and physically. I think though with the current rate of diagnosis its more of an issue for us now days.

I'm searching for a handy term to describe all this stuff...like "patriarchy by default".

Now, I'm sure nobody at primary schools sits around going "OK, how can we make life difficult for mothers (because let's face it, it's mostly mothers this falls on)?". But- I'm sure they also never ask themselves "OK, what is the impact of all these demands going to be on mothers?" either.

It's like Covid, when the question "Well, just who is going to be sitting at home home educating all these kids?" never seemed ti be asked. But we all know who it was, don't we? Fave fact from my lecturer friend- the amount of research papers submitted by female academics plummeted over lock down, while the amount submitted by men largely remained the same.

This morning I was called up by school and had to do the walk of shame to school with a change of clothes for DS because I forgot non uniform day. Something to do with the fact I worked 13 hours yesterday and all notifications are now on a stupid glitchy app that won't even open half the time. This whole non uniform shindig is part of some multi day fundraising drive encompassing bake sales and tombolas (donate a prize!) to raise money for....hoodies for the (expensive) school camp. Here's a radical thought: how about they don't have these stupid hoodies most of the kids don't even bloody care about anyway?!

This whole model only works if you consider womens' time and labour to be essentially worthless.

@crackofdoom Totally agree . I was on a school committee and probably got a reputation for raising this issue at most occasions. Constantly saying that isn't this an unnecessary burden on working parents for things like wear this or that , make a hat or volunteer for stalls , supervision . Not saying that none of it can be done but it all seemed so excessive and never ending .

I am so glad that my DCs are late teens early twenties .
Your list reminds me of how exhausting I found their primary school years
The day my last dc finished primary school was one of the happiest days of my life .
I actually had time for me

Great post @crackofdoom and I completely agree.

Why are people not buying enough milk in their shopping? I just buy it all at once 😅

I know I’m overwhelmed. I know that much!

I thought it would ease off with the kids at secondary but it hasn’t.

The more I buy the more one of my dc drinks! And I can only fit so much into my fridge

Exactly. Life hasn't really changed at all... if anything, the systems and tech we have now make everything much easier.

Then you tell them to stop 😅

@Upsetbetty my dc don’t listen to every single thing I say 🤷🏻‍♀️

I pick my battles & a 12 ye old boy who loves milk is not at the top of the list

The multiple dress up days, at least 1 a term at primary school, where making a costume is encouraged or specifying a black top for sports day etc. I had none of this when I was at school.

Same!

life has definitely changed, just the world of work and length of commutes alone has changed

Totally agree. Im sick of being a responsible adult. Sick of always having to do things i dont want to do for myself and others. Like cooking and cleaning and working and paying bills and bring kids to activities and...... on and on it goes. I didn't know how good I had it as a teenager.