How old is too old?

[Youremyannie]

I know there have been many many posts regarding how old is too old to have a baby. But I'm more wondering how old is too old to think you could still get pregnant and have a successful pregnancy?

Not many girlfriends to ask. My step-up had her last at 42 an my gran had her last at 49. But I see people on here struggling at 35+

Too old is when your body can no longer naturally conceive.

That age is different for everyone.

I am 42 with a 19 and 16 year old. For me the thought of a baby at this age makes me want to flick my eyes out with a spoon!
Had I not had my children young ish maybe I would feel differently but I can safely say almost 20 years of parenting has taken it out of me, I absolutely would not want to be dealing with teenagers in my 50's/60's.

Tons of threads about this. Depends on the individual I would suppose.

Well for me personally I said no more kids after 30. Which was very easy to say, as I had 4 kids by then.

I was so desperate for children though that I genuinely think, if it hadn't happened for me, I would have continued to try as long as I was having periods... though my mum was still having regular monthly periods at 58 (they stopped quite suddenly in the space of 18 months), and I assume she couldn't have got pregnant then.

I had 3 at 36, 38 and 42. I adore them and wouldn’t change it for the world. I am knackered at the end of the day, but most working mums are!

There's quite a bit of evidence that having many pregnancies extends the fertility window - PPs have explained about oocyte sparing, although this may not be the only reason.

There's also evidence that having a child in later life increases a woman's lifespan!

Some reports claim that more women in 'developed countries' are now having children in their 40s than women in their 20s. The data look a little shonky to me, but there's no doubt that age at first childbirth has increased significantly.

The risk of abnormality goes up pretty fast with age, though, and the father's age also increases this risk.

Id say 38

I know way more women who have had babies in their forties than twenties. It does tend to be early forties though, obviously, and it might take a miscarriage or two to get there.

I had my first at 22, second at 33 and last at 40. I fell pregnant first month of trying for each.

All pregnancies were hell on earth as I suffer from HG from the moment you can take a test until birth, hence the age gaps, but there was no real difference. If anything the pregnancy at 40 was easier as I was 10 stone lighter than I was age 22.

If I’d had easier pregnancies I would have had them all in my 20s though, but I wouldn’t have coped with a very young child and being constantly sick or in hospital all the time on rehydration drips and all the drugs that just seem to make me feel worse.

I think this is very area dependant as im the complete opposite where I live

Had my first at 19, unplanned! Last at 41, 2 miscarriages, then the menopause started at 42. Wasn't expecting that. Was told at 40, there was a 1/20% risk of Downs and other disabilities, growing fast with every year. I was told by GP I must use contraceptives till age 50, or a year period free. Last was easiest pregnancy and birth. I was back at work when she was 3 months old. She was my 4th. Interestingly, she said she wouldn't have children after 30,has just had her second at 34.

35 is my cut off. Being an older mum puts me off.

My limit was 30, because my older parents both died before I was 24, so I wanted to do all I could to reduce the chances of that happening to my kids.
I have friends now who are mid 40’s with toddlers, and it’s all fine but it wouldn't be for me. I keep telling the DC i dont want to be an old granny!

As someone who is 45 with kids ranging from nearly 7 to 14 i personally think starting having kids in your both in your mid 40s is unfair. However my dh is 8.5 year's older than me but dc3 wasnt planned. He was 47 when he was born and worried about his age. We have had conversation were i have reminded him that we owe it to our kids (particularly our youngest) to stay fit and active. I am naturally a busy person and work out 4 times a week plus walk miles but he has slowed down a bit.

Also I thought he would be the oldest dad in the playground for our youngest but he isnt. Quite a few are older and some of the mums are older than me which surprised me. Kids dont seem to get bullied for having older parents know as it's quite common now. I still wouldn't have anymore though as we are to old to start having babies and chasing toddlers.

Whatever age a person chooses.

I decided if no 2nd child by 30 I would not have more. I didn't want to have teenagers into middle age. Also as others have said, birth defects increase with age (and even more with paternal age, and he was older than me) so that was something I tried to head off.

I wanted to get to mid 50s/60s with independent adult children and to have a good amount of time with my grandchildren. Also to maximise my energy and have a good, active life unencumbered by heavy parental responsibilities.

I would quietly disapprove past 35.

I don’t think it is just a case of being able to get pregnant and produce a healthy baby. There is also the issue of whether you will have enough energy to look after and enjoy your growing child. There is also reason why women of 50 can’t usually conceive.

I ended an unplanned pregnancy when I was 46 because I knew I was too old to go through all of that again. I was also really enjoying my independence returning as my children were getting older (youngest had just started high school). But that's me & my circumstances. Everyone is different. I have absolutely no regrets & I'm thankful I had that free choice.

I think it's more likely that that's because the older, unmarried daughters starting having their own babies...

My parents took good care of themselves and were fit and well until their 80s, but now are really struggling. I, in my 50s am finding it really tough emotionally and physically.

The idea of doing that at the same time as having children to care for, or of putting DC in that situation is something not to be contemplated. And I'm not doing any actual care, all the organising etc is very time consuming and takes an emotional toll.

An advanced maternal age pregnancy (35+) carries far more risks for both mother and child. More likely to be born with disabilities etc. Personally - my cut off was 30 but I think that’s actually the average age to have you first child, so clearly in the minority there. Some women say until you can’t conceive any longer. But I guess objectively I’d say 35 as that’s when it becomes riskier for mother and baby.

I had my one and only dc at 33.
I’m now forty.
I haven’t taken any precautions since dc. We tried for a while but nothing happened. It was too stressful so we stopped. Now we have a regular/ frequent love life but not timed or made any particular effort to conceive. Nothing has happened.
I will now go back on contraception because I think over forty is too old for me. I’m not fit and healthy enough. My cousin had a baby last year at 36 and had a stroke so that has put me off even more.
TBH I actually felt my fertility take a nose dive a couple of years after I had my dc.
I always thought it was bs that fertility drops dramatically mid thirties. I got pregnant easily and felt great (physically) at 33. Then I bf for two years. Periods came back with a vengeance at six months pp when I started weaning. Continued very regularly all the while I was bf.
Then I stopped and periods went haywire. They settled down a bit although to a very long cycle. Went to the doctor with that and a list of other symptoms. In the end they put it down to Peri.
At first, I was horrified but I’ve accepted it since.
I know a lot of posters on here have their dc in their forties. Most people I know irl struggle to conceive at that age, but possibly there’s demographic factors at play. Other posters have had theirs younger and have an earlier personal cut off point. For me, I don’t think there’s much chance that I’d get pregnant in my forties, if any.
I have a gut feeling I will be through the menopause in the next few years.
Im just glad I had my dc when I did. Some people advised me to wait a couple of years because I was in adult education when I was pregnant and I had to give it up when I had dc. Thankfully I didn’t or I very much doubt I would have her.
I have a sister very close in age who started trying when I was pregnant. She has been off contraceptives for eight years and hasn’t gotten pregnant. She is in peri now too and I think they are about to give up.
So, people can have all sorts of ideas about what is too late generally but on an individual basis, often your body just decides for you.

It really is all about the individual - you cant make a sweeping statement about what age you will be able to get pregnant.

I struggled to get pregnant and have a successful pregnancy with my last child and I was only 31-33 years old at the time so I wouldn't say anything is guaranteed depending on age. So personally I wouldn't go through another pregnancy after 35 (that is gone now for me)

I’m 43 and think I could probably still get pregnant, but wouldn’t dream of trying - I’m actually pretty scared that I’ll unintentionally get pregnant and have to face some tough decisions. For me, the risks are too great at my age. I do already have 3dc (had them in my late 20’s, so I’m well past the stage of having very young dc), but I don’t think I’d try now, even if I had no dc. Cut off for me was probably 40.