To ask what poor theatre etiquette you’ve witnessed?

[AllaMova]

Admittedly, I had never experienced poor theatre etiquette until I saw Phantom of the Opera in the West End last week.

A woman next to me kept lunging forward and then flinging herself back in her seat throughout the performance, which was very distracting and made my seat shake each time. Then, she kept whispering to her companion.

A man kept kicking another man’s seat. I didn’t notice until the man in front turned around and told him off doing so. (Not that I blame him in the slightest!)

Another woman a few rows in front of me got her to text several times. An usher intervened, but she kept doing it.

Some people also arrived late and missed the start of the show and distracted everyone else in the process of finding their seats.

I can’t believe all of this happened during one single show. Until that point, I had been so lucky.

I’ve had a drunk couple at a matinee for War Horse who laughed at the sad bits and hooted during the funny bits.
Another drunk couple who had apparently just got married, the wife sang at the top of her voice during Moulin Rouge. It was so loud that we could barely hear the professional cast. During the intermission, every single person who sat near them (in front, both sides and us behind) asked her to stop, which thankfully she did.
Another couple (not sure if drunk or not) who talked all the way through ‘Only fools and horses’. I think one was explaining what was going on to the other. It was a bit of a crap play but it was still annoying.

The woman who sat next to me at a matinee for Manma Mia was astonished when the users walked around at the beginning with the signs stating no photos etc. Her daughter had bought her the tickets and she wanted to take pictures throughout to show her.

I told her in no uncertain terms that she couldn't. She then proceeded to sing along but so did many many other people. I suppose a Saturday afternoon two weeks before Christmas was not the best time to go...

Hamilton, the woman in front of us spent the whole time explaining the plot to her boyfriend (in fairness, she did stop when asked, but I shouldn't have had to).

Worst was Comedy About Spies; it's recommended for 10+ but i would say really aimed at teenagers and adults. Small child in front of me(parents insisted he was 10) was bored silly and spent the whole time fidgeting, starting with simply bouncing up and down on his chair, moving on to kneeling on his chair and leaning backwards, so his head and arms were nearly in my face, progressing to actually sitting backwards, waving his hands around so he hit me several times and then reaching backwards and feeling up my legs and arms.
Parents did nothing.

unfortunately sold out when I’m in London. Gutted!

Omg, I wonder what she'd have done of you gripped her really hard, or started stroking her.
This stuff upsets me so much, when tickets are so expensive. Have booked a show for July and thankfully it hasn't been mentioned yet ...

As a massive treat,dp got us tickets to see only fools and horses at the haymarket in Londona few years ago

I was so excited and really looking forward to seeing it

Two older ladies in the seats just behind us,moaned loudly all the way through it that they hated only fools on the telly,never watched it as it was crap,hated 'del boy' the most and where not enjoying the stage performance

Really ruined the whole show for us-we ended up following them out at the end and dp had to hold me back from asking them why they had bothered to come see it if they hated it so much

Oh that’s just disgusting. 🤢 My worst experience was sitting next to a man with really strong BO. I tried to breathe as little as possible but it was unbearable.

My cousin has thing in circumstances when people invade her personal space, she out weirds them! She does it on trains, planes and presumably automobiles! Mainly does it to men it has to be said.

So a man spreader, she will put her hand on his knee and give him a really weird creepy smile. I have seen her do it and its amazing! She is a lot braver than me, I would be the person that got assaulted or find the weirdo that liked it! They, without fail, look horrified and move!

We were in the back row at Hamilton and some guys were just standing behind us frequently having a conversation at normal volume!

Six in Nottingham last night, had to ask the lady next to my dd to put her phone away, she was texting someone. She really wasn't happy, i thought I was going to get punched.

The lady at Phantom who checked the train times every 5 minutes, told her to put her phone away. I think I scared her.

The teenage lad who sat in front of me at Back to the Future who must have been 6 foot tall (not his fault), but did a big stretch and sat there with his hands on his head. I has to tell him to put his arms down, I definitely scared him and I honestly asked really nicely.

The man who sang all the songs in act one of Wicked, he obviously hadn't watched the second film as he was quiet during active 2. And the very loved up couple who arrived late, then went to get snacks, then kept kissing and spent most of the show with her head on his shoulder.

I am also a Front of House Manager so I could give you loads more from when I am actually at work!!

I was once head hunted for a FOH role as my skills were extensive and transferrable, once I found out what it was it was a straight "thanks but no thanks"! You are braver than me!

Certainly puzzling! At least the poor man appeared to enjoy it at end...!

I understand where you're coming from in principle but I disagree with making excuses for this:

"So things like wanting to record on phones or (quietly) video call family, I know is super annoying but I also know they do it because they are so excited to be there and they really do see it as a once in a lifetime thing. It's a big deal to them."

That's not about some secretive unknown etiquette, it's literally announced at the beginning that you mustn't film, take photos or use phones during the performance. Just like you're not allowed to do that at the cinema.

It's also a matter of basic respect for the people around you that isn't unique to the theatre.

And you're assuming that visiting the theatre is not also a big deal to the people around them whose experience they're ruining. Why is it ok to ruin someone's special birthday present? You don't know that the person behind them whose enjoyment has been spoiled by the video call hadn't scrimped and saved to attend as a special treat for the first time. Or is there for bucket list reasons because they're dying from cancer and wanted one last special trip with her daughter.

Besides which, if they're video calling people at whatever volume (there is no acceptable volume to do that during a performance), then they're not even paying attention to their supposed once in a lifetime experience.

Don't infantilise them like they're incapable of taking responsibility for their own behaviour. That doesn't help anyone. It's incredibly selfish to think that because you're excited it's okay to spoil it for everyone around you by doing things you have been expressly told not to do - and that are quite obviously disruptive. Trying to make out that it's inaccessible to ask people to be considerate and respectful is disingenuous and unhelpful if you want genuine accessibility issues to be taken seriously (such as your other example about why some people may need to step outside partway through).

I'll never understand why some buy tickets & then arrive so drunk they can't appreciate it, as some pps describe ..

I haven’t been to the theatre for a while but it has got worse over the years. Rustling and eating. Talking and people getting up and down are the worst. I’ve completely given up going to the cinema. I just wait for the film to be available on Sky Cinema. It’s worth every penny to watch the film in peace!

If that's the worst theatre etiquette you've come across you've got off very lightly!!

Completely agree with this

Why is that, I wonder?

How long have you got? Man kicking the back of my seat, people chowing down on panini sandwiches, texting of course - all at Sadlers wells. People are savages

I was lucky that my experience of Phantom was fine, no dickheads. Well, the lad in front of me was still messing on his phone when the music started, so I reached forward and tapped him on the shoulder and he hastily put it away. That ticket cost me £200!!

Wicked was my very worst. I was absolutely surrounded by utter and complete dickheads. Guy in front of me doom scrolling throughout, Guy behind me worked his way solidly through packet after packet of family-size bag Walkers, ladies to the right of me whispering and pointing at the stage. People to the left of me took themselves walkabout during a technical hitch and came back in after the recommencement. There were others who came in late after the interval too. The lady sitting right next to me was morbidly obese and spilling over onto me, which was bad enough, but she was also wet (to the point I could feel it through my trousers). It could have been sweat but she smelled like drains. The family in front of me waited to the end and then filed out before the curtain call. The family to the left stayed but didn't deign to clap. Generally there was whispering and movement everywhere. I'd looked forward to seeing Wicked for more than 10 years, and it was totally trashed.

Maybe Australian audiences have better manners 😁 I saw Anastasia two weeks ago and The Lion King last week, two different theatres. At both everyone was told phones away once the show starts and at Lion King people were told not to sing along as people wanted to hear the actors not their neighbours. I have previously been at shows where people have tried to take photos and the ushers are on them straightaway. They enforce the lock outs at the start and after the interval pretty strictly too. Cinemas on the other hand…….

Three notable lows -

1. two guys who were sitting many rows apart, decided to have a fight in the (steeply stair-cased) aisle during the saddest part of Jersey Boys in London. I swear the entire theatre was trying to see what was happening. One of them fell down the stairs and at least one was eventually evicted.

2. middle-aged woman started moaning and shrieking during Shirley Valentine with Sheridan Smith. Was sitting in the middle of the row of course and made a huge song and dance of leaving halfway through Act One, shouting loudly. Initially I was sympathetic as I thought she was ill - nope, she was just plastered because it was her birthday. I was so angry, she ruined my favourite part of the show. She was allowed back for Act 2 but had to sit on the end of the row. I don't know how Sheridan continued, again the entire theatre heard.

3. Man sitting IN THE FRONT ROW, right in the middle, texting and scrolling on his phone all the way through Act 1 of a children's show. I tapped him on the shoulder eventually to ask him to stop and him and his wife started shouting and swearing at me because apparently I was trying to stop him from doing his job, and they have to eat. Like the front row of a show is the right place to work. He made me cry and was quite frightening. I wish I'd asked the ushers to remove him. So rude. Again, all the performers must have noticed.

Sorry just couldn't help myself 😉🍆

Agree completely.

😏😃