To ask what poor theatre etiquette you’ve witnessed?

[AllaMova]

Admittedly, I had never experienced poor theatre etiquette until I saw Phantom of the Opera in the West End last week.

A woman next to me kept lunging forward and then flinging herself back in her seat throughout the performance, which was very distracting and made my seat shake each time. Then, she kept whispering to her companion.

A man kept kicking another man’s seat. I didn’t notice until the man in front turned around and told him off doing so. (Not that I blame him in the slightest!)

Another woman a few rows in front of me got her to text several times. An usher intervened, but she kept doing it.

Some people also arrived late and missed the start of the show and distracted everyone else in the process of finding their seats.

I can’t believe all of this happened during one single show. Until that point, I had been so lucky.

Can't remember the show, but a bloke puked quite extensively on the stairs during the show. The stench filled the entire auditorium for the remainder of the performance, in spite of valiant attempts to clean it up.
That may or may not have been altogether his fault, but for unpleasantness it still beat the woman next to me who kept shaking her pigtails into my face in time with the music. Pigtails.

Guy behind us took off his shirt.

Needs some context 🤣

Soooo many.

At Phantom DD and I were sat behind a Greek family a few years ago. The teens clearly had no interest. Son spent his ENTIRE time on his phone. Daughter (about 20?) sat next to her Dad and leant her head on his shoulder for much of the 2nd half, getting right in DD's view as there was no gap to see between them.

Recently at Miss Saigon we sat next to a couple who LOVED THE SHOW SO MUCH that they talked over the songs about how much they liked it, identified and announced each song as it started. When the music swelled louder they talked louder. At the interval the woman turned to us and told us how much they loved the show. I told them "I can tell!" and they were a touch quieter in the 2nd half.

I've sat by foot tappers that have shaken the seats next to them. Fan wavers in stuffy theatres (annoying in your eye line). And several who think it's acceptable to sing along.

I am In London in the autumn will have a look, I saw Nye in Wales .I am not Welsh but I felt the audiences love it was quite emotional.

Not a musical but at an Iron Maiden concert in Amsterdam people in the row in front were smoking joints. I told security and their excuse was that the smoking shelter was too far away! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree about the partial view from some seats, especially in the larger theatres. That’s why some theatres give you a “view from the seat” preview as you’re choosing tickets - but I agree that not all do.

I go to dress rehearsals sometimes and see directors moving about to watch the show from different parts of the theatre.

What they don’t do, though, is watch from those seats when the theatre is full.

Whenever I see the actors sitting or lying down on the stage I think, well, only the tall people in the audience (or in the front rows of the circle/balconies) will be able to see that. Everyone else will have heads of the people in the rows in front in their way.

We had that recently, went to see a comedian with my two sons, one being 6ft 2. The woman behind us couldn’t have been more gobby about how they won’t see now 🙄.

Other annoying things - man spreading, putting coats on backs of chair (limited leg space as there is), coming in late…

I also have strong views about people booking seats mid-row if they haven't the mobility to get in and out and sit there without causing problems.

At our local theatre someone left their wheelchair with an usher to sit 1/3rd of the way along down the row, then couldn't/wouldn't stand to let people out at the interval or the end, everyone had to go out the long way the other side. Goodness knows what would happen in the event of an emergency.

And recently at Salford a lady who needed a mobility scooter sat nearly mid row. Lovely lady to chat to. But she couldn't walk past others to get to her seat, and as we'd already sat down by the time they arrived, we had to come all the way out of the row to wait for her and her partner to sit down, then we could sit down again. Then when someone else needed to get past them to sit the other side, we all had to get out of our row entirely again, wait for them to make their way out and then let the other people past, then all file in again to finally sit down. Such a faff.

At a recent show we were in the balcony, second row from the front. On the front row, two seats along, a woman who until then had been acting perfectly normally, put her head down and vomited loudly three times on the floor in front of her, we could hear the splatter and retching. She then sat up, took a swig of her drink and continued to watch the show. Her friends didn’t flinch. All around were agog and somebody behind us fetched an usher. She was annoyed about being asked to leave. It was the grimmest thing I’d seen in a while. She didn’t even seem drunk and it was a matinee performance so not as if a day of drinking first.

It’s unfortunately nothing new. I remember at a performance of Richard III at the Old Vic starring Kevin Spacey (I just googled and this was 2011), a family behind us started to translate every line for their Russian visitors. I shushed them. They paused for a moment then carried on. I turned right around and said “shut the FUCK up”, not in my kindest voice. Not a peep for the rest of the performance.

Who takes a foreign visitor to a play and thinks it’s ok to do this?? You just have to take it on the chin that they won’t understand much of it.

The surgeon licking the knife afterwards.

Ho ho.

I have mobility problems i book aisle seats but not everyone can get them i do think patience is needed accessible seating is bloody expensive and it isn't always available.

I have no idea why - I nipped to the loo during the interval with my oldest and youngest stayed in her seat. At the end she said the guy had taken his shirt off during that time. He had sort of placed it over his front so not too obvious. All I could think was surely that makes the seat all scratchy and uncomfortable.

I seem to be in life "someone sitting in my seat" person.

Whenever I get on a plane/train/go to the theatre or cinema, there is always someone sitting in my seat.

Last time we'd gone to watch HadesTown and I'd booked for about 10 people, there was someone in my seat, I told them to move and they moved someone else in my parties seat. It got to the end of the row and eventually they got up and moved to another row.
The usher eventualy pointed them up to the gods and they moved!

In my experience audience behaviour seems to be worse at the really long running shows like The Lion King, Phantom of the Opera etc. The Lion King even has an announcement at the beginning imploring people to be considerate of other audience members (which most shows don't) and people still chat and rustle the whole way through. It's like there's a constant loud breeze. Opening their next bag of bloody Haribo in the silence of the poignant emotional scenes.

My poor DH was sat next to a drunk couple at Lion King. They drunk two bottles of fizz, eating sweets and popcorn and dropped it all over the floor. They were loud and obnoxious all the way through. At the end he stood up and said ‘who ever complained about me can fuck off’. It was disappointing as it was my husband’s birthday present.

We went to a concert at the Royal Albert Hall. Before the start we were told not to film the event on our phones. A youngish person stood up half way through the first half and filmed the event standing at the front of the balcony. He blocked the view as well as lighting the area around..

I went to Shakespeare's Globe in London. I had never been previously and was looking forward to a Summer evening show. Options where a standing ticket or a seat, which it was explained to me given the period nature of a theatre would be a bench. I opted for the bench. It was a working day for me so I turned up on time with c.10 mins to go to the start time. To find that the bench was full of a very large American family. I politely noted that part of the bench was mine and they begrudgingly made a little space, but given their size I spent the entire performance with flesh overlapping me and over time the flesh started to sweat a little. Easily the most unpleasant theatre experience I have ever had. I looked on with envy of the standing ticket holders wondering freely around as they watched the show, popping to the bar and then back again.

A French woman translating "HP and the Cursed Child" to her son. Loudly, every line during the show. I asked her to be quiet 3 x and then complained in the interval. When I went to my seat after the loo she shouted at me and jabbed me with her finger repeatly. London being London no one did anything. She was removed by security and then everyone nearby congratulated me and thanked me until I said "Why did you leave me being attacked on my own if it bothered you too" Then they ignored me again.
People can be such wankers.

Years ago I saw Jesus Christ Superstar where I was sitting you could see into the wings and two cast members who were snogging whenever possible. A friend said there was an urban myth that quite a few babies were conceived backstage as there wasn’t much for the chorus to do.

In the mid 90s I saw Timothy West in Death of a Salesman at the Theatre Royal in Glasgow. It must've been on the school curriculum that year because the place was full of schoolkids. Chatting, constantly getting up to go to the loos, unwrapping sweeties, incessant coughing, the works. Was so bad I almost left mid way through. At the end, Timothy West gave the audience a right telling off! 😂

At the theatre, but for a children’s performance. Got there and some woman had taken my friends seats, preferring these to her own cheaper seats. She refused to move. Ushers came and she still refused.

My friend got upset, but just went to sit somewhere else and declined my offer to get involved.

If that was me, I would’ve asked once, then gone to the bar and bought an extra large coke and poured it over her head. I would’ve made sure her night was ruined and she learnt a massive life lesson.

As it happens whenever I go to the theatre or cinema I get a bit agitated incase someone is in my seat even all these years later.

People who chat, so distracting even the quiet whispering.

Not as bad as the wanker, but woman on the front row of the balcony, leaning forward, large hair bun on the top of her head, Chinese hat perched on top of the bun (the show was Aladdin). Obscured the vision of many behind her. I had words at the interval.