To ask what poor theatre etiquette you’ve witnessed?

[AllaMova]

Admittedly, I had never experienced poor theatre etiquette until I saw Phantom of the Opera in the West End last week.

A woman next to me kept lunging forward and then flinging herself back in her seat throughout the performance, which was very distracting and made my seat shake each time. Then, she kept whispering to her companion.

A man kept kicking another man’s seat. I didn’t notice until the man in front turned around and told him off doing so. (Not that I blame him in the slightest!)

Another woman a few rows in front of me got her to text several times. An usher intervened, but she kept doing it.

Some people also arrived late and missed the start of the show and distracted everyone else in the process of finding their seats.

I can’t believe all of this happened during one single show. Until that point, I had been so lucky.

More amusing than irritating - sat next to a couple. She was clearly loving the show, and he had a face like thunder and was huffing throughout. I thought I’d rather have gone on my own if he was my partner.

Urg people with their phones out to take photos they will never see again. One time a lady next to me got her phone out and was looking through her photo gallery! Just leave. The light is so distracting.

This! There’s nothing wrong with enthusiastic applause and the odd whoop to show appreciation. Standing ovations should be for real take-your-breath-away performances that leave you overwhelmed and mere clapping and cheering simply doesn’t express it.
I remember going to a local touring performance of Brassed Off. It was very good, but there was a woman behind me who leapt to her feet at the end of every single musical number. Distracting and unnecessary.

Unwrapping noisy sweets and undoing fizzy pop bottles midway through quiet parts drive me mad - absolutely no need!

Maybe an actors mum being a bit too enthusiastic 😀

Was at The Jersey Boys. One woman clearly thought she was at a pantomime as she kept loudly answering questions asked by the actors on stage...

I went to see stranger things and was in the dress circle.. so tiered seats and the people in front of having their heads quite obviously in our eye line.

The people in front were a mother and a son, the son being about 10/11 and it was absolutely bizarre. She was stroking him, his head, his hair, his chin, kept kissing him, it was so so inappropriate and uncomfortable. Everyone I was with commented on it. It was like he was an emotional support animal.

Surely you mean Jizz us😂

I rarely give a standing ovation. I’ve only done it for two performances, I leapt to my feet at the end of Pride: The Musical and Nye (as did everyone else in my section)

STOP 😂

At Motown, a couple in the row behind us came in really late and totally pissed up. The woman could hardly walk. They slumped in their seats, bickering. By the second half the woman was asleep and snoring loudly, the usher had to wake her up and tell her to be quiet. At the end they staggered off. She left her phone behind. I handed it in, god knows if she got it back.

At Tina, the couple next to us were again very drunk and kept standing up singing/ shouting. There had been clear instructions to stay in seat and not sing along until the final number. At the interval they were in the bar and the manager came to speak to them. The man got really offended and stormed off. The lady watched the second half on her own and was better behaved.

Also at the Lion King there were two women and a little girl sitting next to us. The little girl was right next to my husband and though she was very well behaved she kept doing the foulest silent but deadly farts. He was breathing through his shirt cuff to try and filter the gas. When it came to the interval they got up from their seats and he remarked "I hope she's gone to drop a log" which is now a family catch phrase.

We had this once too! The woman audibly said oh great as we sat down - there was 4 of us and her entire row was empty, I suggested she asked for move but she didn't even bother!

I was once sat next to someone who was trying to translate the whole of Wicked to her mother!

People singing and humming along with the show. Too quiet for it to carry far enough for the stewards to say anything. I just can't handle it. It is pure rage.

I go to the theatre a lot and find most people are actually fine.

I once sat behind a teenager on her phone. I told her off and she stopped.

Oh I saw they were making a musical of Pride was it good it sounds like it. NYE is one of the best things I have seen on stage we did stand yes.

I once sat in front of David Walliams at the theatre - he kicked my seat all the way through. What a nob.

Urgh ! What a horrible man,

Years ago I attended the ballet with a group of colleagues. One brought her Mum and sister along. They talked all the way through. It was distracting and mortifying in equal measure. The ushers stepped in twice but they just didn’t stop. I never looked at my colleague (who in all other respects was a sensible professional) the same way again.

Definitely nothing as awful as the Six story 🤢

Ive had the misfortune to be in the theatre with some very drunk people, usually at West End musicals where they seem to spend more time in the bar than the auditorium. Why people need to be off their faces to watch a show I’ll never know!

Latest one was a bit different and a couple of weeks ago, small local theatre. I went to watch a performance of The Spitfire Girls. We were in the balcony and the seats are quite tiered so your head is equal with the feet of the row behind. There were metal dividers between the rows as the balcony was that steep. Middle aged woman in the seat directly behind me took her shoes off and rested her bare feet on the divider so they were in my hair. Took great offence when the usher and I asked her not to and ended up leaving at the interval mumbling under her breath. Bizarre!

Went to watch a comedian and a lady (sitting a few rows in front of us) kept replying to everything they said. We were near the back so comedian couldn't hear her. I think mostly everyone around thought she was batty rather than rude though as it was so bizarre.

Completely agree! Standing ovations have gone too far. I regularly attend the theatre with a family member who uses a wheelchair and the seating for wheelchair users is good and has a decent view but the moment a standing ovation happens she can’t see a thing.

Someone with impulse control issues / Tourette’s behind me at Operation Mincemeat. Making strange noises, laughing inappropriately (at scenes not meant to be funny), snorting loudly, squirming, almost being sick at one point.

At the risk of sounding like a complete bigot, I think there should be a separate section for people unable to keep quiet at the theatre due to disability. It’s not fair on them nor on others.

Pride was incredible. Do see it, if you’re able. It has finished its run in Wales, but it’s in London soon, I believe!

People moving to their seats past you (when you are already seated) while facing the stage. With their (very often) large arses moving past you, sometimes almost brushing you without them knowing. This was the first thing my mum taught me when we went to the theatre - you face people when you move past them, being aware what part of you is skimming past their face - so you basically do anything you can, like maybe bend a little, to avoid unwanted contact.

To me, this is like washing before going to a pool. A sign of civilized person as opposed to a heathen.