To expect DH to help pay for my diagnosis?

[Miserablelittlesoul]

I have numerous health conditions but the one that is affecting my life the most is (suspected endometriosis). I’ve had symptoms since I was young but never put 2 and 2 together not that I was aware of the condition anyway.

These past 6 months have been intense and I have pretty much lost my mobility. I’m no longer working anymore and I’ve been denied pip so I have no money coming in at all. We have maxed all the benefits we are entitled too.

We have spent all our savings now. All we have is our pokemon collection that is worth around 20k but we plan to hold on to this as the value keeps increasing.

DH has a 0% credit card with £15k on. He doesn’t want to use it and feels that it’s for emergencies only.

My life is so miserable I do nothing now I stay in the house everyday. I have about 10 good pain free days a month. I’m sad all the time! The house is always a mess and food shopping isn’t being done properly. So when it comes to dinner times it’s a distaster.

DH tries his best with everything but it doesn’t work I need my health back.

AIBU to think this is an emergency? I completely understand why he doesn’t want to. But I can’t wait 8 years for a diagnosis and treatment.

He would prioritise your cards/toys? over your health? Wow.

Sell the things. Get seen and treated so there is some hope at least. You can’t give up on life now.

Invest in your health. Not some game.

OP are you actually in UK and using NHS? It is free you know. If you are - you must complain and ask to be referred to another doctor and/or Health Centre or even go to a good hospital's A+E. Ask them to help you because you're desperate and have waited so long.

She hasn’t waited 8 years.

GP request for urgent ref to specialist gynae centre. ‘I want to be tested for endometriosis please.’

I believe they sometimes try treatment on the assumption of endo to see if it helps. Gp might be able to do such a prescription in fact while you wait to see gynae. No reason why it would take 8 years to be diagnosed.

@Miserablelittlesoul
I understand your frustration, but knowing how difficult it is to improve the lives of women who do have an official diagnosis, because there’s isn’t one simple step which will solve the issues, then using money that you don’t have wouldn’t be a good decision.
It would be different if you suffered from something that once diagnosed could be subsequently treated and you got your life back.

What's more important your health, or your pokemon collection??

My Epic Story

(not my story - I don't have endometriosis - but this is someone I knew years ago and you may find this helpful)

OP if you're waiting for a scan, be proactive and follow it up. Whenever I'm on a waiting list these days I ring every morning and check for cancellations. Works every time- I usually get something booked in for same day/ next day within the first 5-10 calls

So just pay for a hysterectomy and be done with it.

I know several people that have had treatment, medication, a clean out as it were and the evenly option that actually works is that.

Interest free is only normally for a very limited period. How would you pay it all off before that time ran out if you have no funds?

I have been through menopause now so it’s been a blessing for me.
Took me from ages 30-46 to get diagnosed. Then another 7 years until my periods stopped.
The one thing I knew helped a friend of mine was the Mirena coil.
Having only a few days of the month away from the pain is very familiar.
Even though this affects so many women it’s strange that so many without it aren’t really aware of it, or of how long it takes to get a diagnosis.
I am so sorry you are going through it. I don’t think it is worth paying for a private diagnosis right now. But I think it might be worth paying for a consultation with a gynae who specialises in endo if your GP isn’t of much help.
I am lucky that I was able to find one quite close to me. I think being listened to and heard mattered.

Massive sympathy to you OP. Have you seen a consultant yet or at least been referred? Where I live it was a 7 year wait for surgery when my daughter was first added to the waiting list but she ended up waiting for 2 years instead. The surgery has not “cured” her although she has now learnt to manage her pain better. She has one lot of meds as a preventative measure and then on the days that doesn’t quite work for whatever reason, we have several different forms of pain relief. Pain management is apparently the number one strategy according to the specialist nurse we saw. I say we as my daughter has been suffering with it since starting her period and she’s still only a teenager.

If I had the money or the capability to get a loan, I’d have got the ball rolling for my daughter straight away. But my debt would have been mine. From your husband’s perspective I guess he’s worried that he will be taking on the entire financial responsibility of this debt by himself. I can see why that would worry/scare him.

Chase the ultrasound, but it’s not definitive. It took me 8 years to be diagnosed with adenomyosis. In the meantime the GP should be able to give you tranexamic acid for heavy bleeding and mefenamic acid for pain relief.

Join Benenden. It’s £16 a month. Wait 6 months and you can access services

Yes, OP should definitely ask for a reconsideration of the PIP decision and take it to appeal if necessary. Use a specialised agency for this, like Citizens Advice or similar. Also, I wonder if OP has applied for New-Style ESA? If not, she should have done.

Private health care normally doesn’t cover pre existing conditions. Her medical records will show it as pre existing.

Beneden doesn’t exclude

There's an injection that people get monthly which apparently works really well

Have you a link?

I'm interested in private health insurance that covers pre-existing conditions!

[Edit - oh! no exclusions for pre-existing conditions.

Health Insurance Alternative UK | Benenden Health

Do they charge a fortune for pre-exiting conditions?]

So your mental and physical health is suffering to the point that you can't work and have burnt through your savings, but you have 15k worth of Pokemon cards sitting around gathering dust?

Make it make sense.

https://www.benenden.co.uk/health/healthcare/

Ultrasound won’t show much unless you have cysts. Will GP refer you to gynaecologist?

Why should he get into debt with his credit card that he will have to pay for as you aren’t working?? Sorry but you need to stop being selfish and sell your Pokémon collection.

This or you can't afford private healthcare.

What's the point of having investments if not so you can utilise them when money is needed?

That’s not an average wait time for diagnosis. It’s the average time from first seeing the GP (according to Endometriosis UK). There are many other conditions that need to be ruled out before endo is diagnosed. In my NHS trust, the average wait time for gynaecologists appointment is 6 months, and a further 6 months for laparoscopy.