To expect DH to help pay for my diagnosis?

[Miserablelittlesoul]

I have numerous health conditions but the one that is affecting my life the most is (suspected endometriosis). I’ve had symptoms since I was young but never put 2 and 2 together not that I was aware of the condition anyway.

These past 6 months have been intense and I have pretty much lost my mobility. I’m no longer working anymore and I’ve been denied pip so I have no money coming in at all. We have maxed all the benefits we are entitled too.

We have spent all our savings now. All we have is our pokemon collection that is worth around 20k but we plan to hold on to this as the value keeps increasing.

DH has a 0% credit card with £15k on. He doesn’t want to use it and feels that it’s for emergencies only.

My life is so miserable I do nothing now I stay in the house everyday. I have about 10 good pain free days a month. I’m sad all the time! The house is always a mess and food shopping isn’t being done properly. So when it comes to dinner times it’s a distaster.

DH tries his best with everything but it doesn’t work I need my health back.

AIBU to think this is an emergency? I completely understand why he doesn’t want to. But I can’t wait 8 years for a diagnosis and treatment.

So your health is important enough to get into debt but not important enough to sell your valuable pokemon collection?

If your DH won't agree to selling it, then that's one thing, but have you actually even asked him?

Get yourself referred to gynae.

They are the only ones who can diagnose. And that's where most of the waiting is.

I think your pinning all your hope on this diagnosis and not looking further.

Once diagnosed how is it going to change anything?

More valuable than your health and your quality of life? Seriously? What are you keeping it for then?

From ultrasound to surgery was 2 years for me, with stage 4 DIE. The last 6 months of that were spent clinging to my job, on morphine and numerous a&e visits so they tried to speed up the op a bit
I asked a GP for a referral 10 years ago as I thought I had endo then

Pokémon collection is too valuable to get rid of it all and I don’t think hubby would do it anyway.

too valuable, but is it more valuable than your health? you’re saying your life is significantly impacted, I would say health is more valuable than that, there’s no point sitting on an asset while your health declines or getting into debt with no clear way to pay off, when there is a way to fund this without debt.

Nothing helpful to add but I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. Xxxx

Agree with this, only thing that worked for me was the mini pill. I would exhaust all contraceptive options while waiting on the NHS for a lap, my experience was that despite a diagnosis I wasn’t offered anything treatment wise that I couldn’t have had without the diagnosis anyway, so it really didn’t make much difference.

They can excise the endo then which may help and unstick organs

What would Ash Ketchum do?

You won't get much for £15 I can tell you, I work in the health service.
Go get yourself a full body MRI scan for about 2K then take the report to your GP and insist on NHS treatment.
I wrote to the CQC to complain and all of a sudden my iron transfusions were paid for by the NHS instead of privately by me.

It’s not debt yet. He had it available to use.

You don't have £15K, you're proposing that your DH takes out a £15k debt, in his name, and for that you are being wholly unreasonable.

Bluntly, you can't afford private healthcare.

Why should he get into debt with his credit card that he will have to pay for as you aren’t working?? Sorry but you need to stop being selfish and sell your Pokémon collection. £20k would get you seen and diagnosed. What tests and stuff have you had so far? How far into the diagnosis are you

Exactly. And he’d be the one paying it all back. It’s shocking

You need to ask your GP to refer you to gynae, I then waited 12 months for a diagnosis, then you may be put on hormone therapy. They probably won’t operate as it’s rarely successful.

Sorry you are experiencing this.
A gynae won't be able to diagnose just through appt / scans. Only definitive way to diagnose is laparoscopy. My last laparoscopy privately cost over £10k for context.
Even with a diagnosis, the prognosis is fairly miserable. I'm 33 and had 8 surgeries now. Private consultant won't do any more, nor will NHS as pain always returns in 6-12 months.
Ask GP for referral to pain management clinic whilst you wait for ultrasound.
Appreciate how much of a challenge it is, I loose nearly two weeks a month to Endometriosis.

No I would pay it back but it would be monthly installments. I wouldn’t expect DH to pay it back.

I haven't read the whole thread so sorry if this has already been said, but definitely appeal your PIP, and when you're filling it in - do it from the point of view of every day being your worst day. I have endo and so I'm in support groups and this is the advice giving to everyone applying. From a emotional and practical side of things, the groups are great and very very helpful so if you can find a local one, definitely join it.

I haven't read the whole thread so sorry if this has already been said, but definitely appeal your PIP, and when you're filling it in - do it from the point of view of every day being your worst day. I have endo and so I'm in support groups and this is the advice giving to everyone applying. From a emotional and practical side of things, the groups are great and very very helpful so if you can find a local one, definitely join it.

Thank you this is really helpful! I have PMDD too so if it’s not my endometriosis it’s PMDD I can’t catch a break. I will just have to grin and bear it for now and accept this is my life.

How would you pay it back if you aren't working?

Thanks I appealed it before and was denied again. I’ve had some support with the forms from a charity this time and have applied again.

Sorry, I didn't mean to post multiple times, that's so annoying, I've reported two of them to get them removed

you: need to go to your GP and adult social care and presenting your case. Period - start the ball rolling