To expect DH to help pay for my diagnosis?

[Miserablelittlesoul]

I have numerous health conditions but the one that is affecting my life the most is (suspected endometriosis). I’ve had symptoms since I was young but never put 2 and 2 together not that I was aware of the condition anyway.

These past 6 months have been intense and I have pretty much lost my mobility. I’m no longer working anymore and I’ve been denied pip so I have no money coming in at all. We have maxed all the benefits we are entitled too.

We have spent all our savings now. All we have is our pokemon collection that is worth around 20k but we plan to hold on to this as the value keeps increasing.

DH has a 0% credit card with £15k on. He doesn’t want to use it and feels that it’s for emergencies only.

My life is so miserable I do nothing now I stay in the house everyday. I have about 10 good pain free days a month. I’m sad all the time! The house is always a mess and food shopping isn’t being done properly. So when it comes to dinner times it’s a distaster.

DH tries his best with everything but it doesn’t work I need my health back.

AIBU to think this is an emergency? I completely understand why he doesn’t want to. But I can’t wait 8 years for a diagnosis and treatment.

Gosh this is absolutely terrible! Did all the symptoms stop with the menopause. I hope you dont mind me asking?

Sorry to hear about your pain, OP.

I can’t tell from your posts where along the pathway you are:
whether you have been referred to gynae yet - seen a gynae - had any investigations - have a plan in place for treatment?

Or have you self diagnosed (possibly correctly) as having endometriosis and decided it would be 8 years before treatment based on averages?

I resigned myself to having to work from home, or at least having the abiity to do so.

Our financial situation won’t get any worse I guess we are ok. Bills are paid and we have enough food the kids aren’t missing out on anything. But I’m not use to this sort of life so it’s a shock to the system. I don’t know what else we can do going forward if I can’t get any other benefits or I can’t go back to work. It’s going to be a very crappy life.

Have you got a referral in to gynae? Have you tried the progesterone only pill? I’ve had laparoscopic removal of adhesions a number of times and then went onto the POP. It was the only thing that gave me relief.

Have you looked into how much it would actually cost?

Whose Pokémon cards are they?
I think it’s mad that you’re not selling them or trying anything else first, before borrowing the money.

The trouble is as you say you have multiple health conditions and so it’s not as straightforward as just trying to get an endometriosis diagnosis (which is hard enough).

When were you referred for an ultrasound?
Did they give a rough timeline?

Does private health care not do payment plans?

I feel sorry for your DH that he has been the only one working and you’re now expecting him to get into debt.
But I guess you’re hoping that you can get back to work asap and therefore pay back the debt.

I’m assuming your other health conditions don’t stop you from working?

You need to go back to the gp and explain and push for urgency

Also what are your other health conditions op?

I'd sell the cards before getting into debt. Theyre the sort of thing that could become very valuable or could be worthless if interest wanes, but will £20k be enough?

You said in your op you had 15k of debt on a credit card card?

Your priorities are messed up in this situation, who owns the Pokémon cards?

they could very easily loose their value so get your health sorted while you can

No, there's £15k of available credit on a card, that OP thinks they should use.

My daughters gyno put on her the pill to take consequetuvely and miss her periods - no periods no bleeding internally either

Oh, gosh I’d not do that.

Debt is a slippery slope. You're out of savings, using a cc for health care is the kind of thing a lot of people struggle to come back from. Stick with the NHS. The reality is that you don't have the money for private health care. That's wrong, but using a cc isn't the right way forward.

Not with children and one earner, and multiple health conditions, it is very unlikely what the op proposes will make any difference and the debt needs to be serviced. It’s just not an option.

I just can’t get my head around this, £15k on a credit card is that available credit or debt?
And please don’t hold onto these cards assuming they will always be worth the same value, markets change and fluctuate all the time, it sounds like you need to cash in and use this money now just for day to day living.

I agree.

OP you’re suggesting that the cards are worth more than £15k but how long will that last?
Are they really going to be worth more than what you can earn?

They could easily lose value.
You could have a house fire and they get damaged.
So many things.

I’m really surprised that you’re apparently in so much pain that you can’t work and want to get into debt but won’t sell something that you don’t need and will give you instant cash.

How would you pay it back if you’re not working? What if the treatment doesn’t work?

You are not in dire straits if you are refusing to sell 20k worth of crap in case it increases in value.
it is mental to hold on to this at the expense of your physical health and both of your mental health.
Have long term chronic disability an health issues many of which took decades to diagnose or I went privately using whatever money I could scrape together.
i would not be sitting on 20k like this, its not an asset like a house or a disability car, its Pokémon!
get a grip. What if you split up? Who keeps the Pokémon?
what if you both die before you pull your finger out and sell your collection?
this suffering and scrimping will have all been for nothing

Hysterectomy doesn’t cure endometriosis. It just comes back on other organs

but isn't it too late if you are already symptomatic?

I'm really sorry, but I don't think getting the diagnosis will speed anything up.

It is the waiting time for the clinics and consultants which takes the time and this isn't actually quicker if you have a diagnosis.

I've quite recently seen the endometriosis clinic and was told what they basically do there is prescribe the contraceptive pill and see if that improves things, they'll see me again in 3 months. That was 18 months ago because the wait for follow-ups is so long.

I already know I have endometriosis- I found out by accident on an MRI, my wait hasn't been any quicker because I have a diagnosis.

I completely understand your desperation to improve your situation, but I don't think paying for the diagnosis will help speed it up.

I would pay privately for treatment, but not for diagnosis on the assumption the NHS will then treat.

If you go on the pill and this stops the pain, then you would know anyway.

Private MRI £225. Private gynae appointment £200 this is what my friend paid last month. Isn’t that worth selling a few Pokémon cards for?

Benenden Health covers pre-existing conditions, but only for a limited range of procedures. It will also cover up to £2.5k for diagnostics.

It's not standard private health care, it's some sort of weird hybrid thing.

I've no idea if it covers endo procedures