Page 6 | AIBU to mention weight loss injections to an overweight male colleague?

ReadingSoManyThreads · 28/04/2026 16:41

What the fuck is it about people on these WLI?! Is it some weird recruitment cult once you start on them? Cause it sure as heck seems like it.

OP, you are being SO unreasonable, mind your own weight business.

ruethewhirl · 28/04/2026 16:41

OMG no. You should never make unsolicited comments to colleagues on their bodies/health/anything personal really. Even if you mean well. I'm on MJ myself and totally understand the impulse, given that the jabs have helped so many, but... just no. The scope for causing offence is too great.

In any case, as a pp said, he will be well aware of WLI and able to make an independent decision whether he wants to go that route. Plus there may be health issues that preclude it.

VividDeer · 28/04/2026 16:44

I asked a colleague who lost loads of weight how they managed it. This is the only appropriate time to discuss.

MalteserGeezee · 28/04/2026 16:45

I don't think anyone in the world can be oblivious to weight loss injections. Mentioning WLI to him is hardly fucking Moses revealing theTen Commandments, is it? Leave him be.

Shizzlestix · 28/04/2026 17:18

As a formerly very overweight person, I think I’d be appalled had a colleague spoken to me about a weight loss method, unless I was openly talking about wanting to lose weight/was losing weight. I’ve lost 11 stone-more than a lot of colleagues weigh.

I would love to speak to another couple of colleagues, one of whom looks like he’s struggling, but I just wouldn’t. There are 3 men on the staff who are morbidly obese, they know they’re overweight, they don’t need someone else mentioning it. I see it a bit like giving up cigarettes-did that many years ago-you need to have your head in the right place. It’s absolutely pointless talking to anyone about losing weight if they’re not ready to do it.

darksideofthetoon · 28/04/2026 17:21

Definitely not as nobody knows the long term effects of these. But besides that, it’s just none of your business unless he approaches you for advice.

Periperi2025 · 28/04/2026 17:23

VividDeer · 28/04/2026 16:44

I asked a colleague who lost loads of weight how they managed it. This is the only appropriate time to discuss.

Is it?
What if they'd had a cancer diagnosis or a recent bereavement that you didn't know about?
Asking how a colleagues lost weight is a totally inappropriate discussion.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 28/04/2026 17:42

It's not the OPs business. That's the bottom line. His weight has nothing to do with her

Hatty65 · 28/04/2026 17:46

I'm very obese. I have made the decision not to try WLI.

I'd be fucking raging if a colleague 'mentioned' them to me. It's incredibly insulting.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 28/04/2026 17:47

Periperi2025 · 28/04/2026 17:23

Is it?
What if they'd had a cancer diagnosis or a recent bereavement that you didn't know about?
Asking how a colleagues lost weight is a totally inappropriate discussion.

Show quote history

My mum is very slim but she went through some really traumatic life stuff around 15 years ago and ended up less than 7 and a half stones. She did put weight back on even though she's still slim but the only people who know why are me and my brother

I put on weight after a relative comitted suicide in my 20s. I also on weight when my mum had cancer. I stopped training. Sometimes people lose or gain weight due to trauma

It's no ones business. I'm fat right now. No one needs to point it out to me

Fishingboatbobbingnight · 28/04/2026 18:09

I completely disagree with most of the comments. I too learned about it from a colleague (wasn’t on MN at the time) and a year later I had taken my risk of heart disease and stroke from 35-45% to 4-7%..(lipids, cholesterol , BP all now in the green zone after 8 st weight loss) so probably a life saver !

My brother was also morbidly obese and I had assumed he hadn’t travelled the same road out of choice. Until he asked me how I had done it. As we only see each other a couple of times a year so the difference was very noticeable. I told him I was on MJ. He had never heard of it. He’s not on MN and is a manual labourer so no office chat in his life and I doubt he’s a big listener to the news .. so I told him. He started it in November and has already lost 4 stone .. and sent me a wonderful message to thank me for probably extending his life by 15 years.

I would tell him @NoNewClothes just be subtle about it. Make it all about you. Do not advise him or suggest anything. Just say ‘this is what I have done’ and leave it at that .. he may know already but be too scared by the scare mongering and IF HE ASKS you can tell him the reality of a ‘normal non celebrity experience’ . If he shows no interest then you have done your bit to inform.
I do understand the feeling of wanting to shout the incredible news about these amazing drugs and the effect they have on health outcomes . Which to me are 10x the benefit of no longer being obese. Don’t get me wrong- the weight loss is fab for self esteem - but nothing compares with putting myself in a place where I have a much much greater chance of watching my grandchildren grow up.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/04/2026 18:14

NoNewClothes · 28/04/2026 13:13

Worked previously with this colleague in our early twenties and he was well built, but tall so not obviously overweight. We’ve now been working together in the same company for about 3 years and in the time I can’t help but see that he had put on considerable weight and is now probably in the morbidly obese range.

I know his wife to see but not really talk to (not that kind of work place). She has the look of a sporty fit slim type. He, like me, early 50s, teenage kids etc.

I know that speaking about weight issues to a spouse is mired in difficulty; from reading on threads here too that’s very much a no no. However I’m now on WLI myself after really struggling with my menopausal weight gain that led me to a bmi of over 30 and finding it so so hard to reverse the upward trend.

The reason I started? Speaking with female work colleagues who are also on mounjaro and had normalised it, plus coming on here and joining one of the many WLI threads.

This colleague is such a sweet guy, and I would just mention in passing that I’m on them - I would be subtle and kind but make it clear I’m available for advice without pushing it.

Reading the healthy life expectancy report out yesterday is prompting this.

or AIBU and only bring it up if he mentions his struggles (which he never does)

Is this a wind up? Why would you want even consider this!

Please don’t do this. It may have been okay for your colleagues to talk to you about it but he would be justified in making a complaint and you could get yourself into a lot of trouble at work. If someone at my company suggested them to someone else without being asked, they would be in a lot of shit.

WLIs aren’t exactly a secret so he will know they exist.

And while it worked for you, do you know that it doesn’t work for everyone. I have been on them for years without losing an ounce so they aren’t great for everybody.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 28/04/2026 18:15

Fishingboatbobbingnight · 28/04/2026 18:09

I completely disagree with most of the comments. I too learned about it from a colleague (wasn’t on MN at the time) and a year later I had taken my risk of heart disease and stroke from 35-45% to 4-7%..(lipids, cholesterol , BP all now in the green zone after 8 st weight loss) so probably a life saver !

My brother was also morbidly obese and I had assumed he hadn’t travelled the same road out of choice. Until he asked me how I had done it. As we only see each other a couple of times a year so the difference was very noticeable. I told him I was on MJ. He had never heard of it. He’s not on MN and is a manual labourer so no office chat in his life and I doubt he’s a big listener to the news .. so I told him. He started it in November and has already lost 4 stone .. and sent me a wonderful message to thank me for probably extending his life by 15 years.

I would tell him @NoNewClothes just be subtle about it. Make it all about you. Do not advise him or suggest anything. Just say ‘this is what I have done’ and leave it at that .. he may know already but be too scared by the scare mongering and IF HE ASKS you can tell him the reality of a ‘normal non celebrity experience’ . If he shows no interest then you have done your bit to inform.
I do understand the feeling of wanting to shout the incredible news about these amazing drugs and the effect they have on health outcomes . Which to me are 10x the benefit of no longer being obese. Don’t get me wrong- the weight loss is fab for self esteem - but nothing compares with putting myself in a place where I have a much much greater chance of watching my grandchildren grow up.

That's fine for you. But when you are someone like me who has had complete strangers shouting abuse at me all my life even at times when I wasn't overweight. I do not want someone to comment on my size

Not everyone wants to go on weight loss jabs. This man is married. If someone should speak to him it should be his wife. No one else.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 28/04/2026 18:18

My gran was slim all her life and didn't drink or smoke and died of a massive stroke. Of course there are benefits to losing weight. However I know about weight loss jabs and that is not how I want to lose weight - please stop assuming that everyone wants to go on jabs. And stop assuming that people want to lose weight in the first place. Some people don't. Stop fat shaming people. Its ridiculous

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/04/2026 18:18

Fishingboatbobbingnight · 28/04/2026 18:09

I completely disagree with most of the comments. I too learned about it from a colleague (wasn’t on MN at the time) and a year later I had taken my risk of heart disease and stroke from 35-45% to 4-7%..(lipids, cholesterol , BP all now in the green zone after 8 st weight loss) so probably a life saver !

My brother was also morbidly obese and I had assumed he hadn’t travelled the same road out of choice. Until he asked me how I had done it. As we only see each other a couple of times a year so the difference was very noticeable. I told him I was on MJ. He had never heard of it. He’s not on MN and is a manual labourer so no office chat in his life and I doubt he’s a big listener to the news .. so I told him. He started it in November and has already lost 4 stone .. and sent me a wonderful message to thank me for probably extending his life by 15 years.

I would tell him @NoNewClothes just be subtle about it. Make it all about you. Do not advise him or suggest anything. Just say ‘this is what I have done’ and leave it at that .. he may know already but be too scared by the scare mongering and IF HE ASKS you can tell him the reality of a ‘normal non celebrity experience’ . If he shows no interest then you have done your bit to inform.
I do understand the feeling of wanting to shout the incredible news about these amazing drugs and the effect they have on health outcomes . Which to me are 10x the benefit of no longer being obese. Don’t get me wrong- the weight loss is fab for self esteem - but nothing compares with putting myself in a place where I have a much much greater chance of watching my grandchildren grow up.

But apart from it being incredibly rude, he’s going to realise that she’s commenting about his weight.

If he wants to know, I’m sure he could use his words and speak to the OP. Is it worth risking getting into trouble at work for? Because however you dress it up, you are telling someone that they should lose weight and this is how they should do it.

Plus all of you who think it’s a miracle cure - good for you that it worked. I have been injecting for years and nothing. My risk of everything is higher than it was a year ago. So don’t leave people under the illusion that it is a guarantee.

Namechangee11 · 28/04/2026 18:20

Ffs... As of noone has heard of them and need you to mention it to them... Sounds a bit evangelical and no one likes that.

Backawayfromthesausage · 28/04/2026 18:22

I’m on them but this is so intrusive and bonkers. You don’t need to hide yoire on them, and can casually say something like that sounds yummy but I’m on weight loss injections so don’t fancy it, or something.

but yoh can’t go round looking at fat people and wanting to tell them. Good god.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/04/2026 18:27

Backawayfromthesausage · 28/04/2026 18:22

I’m on them but this is so intrusive and bonkers. You don’t need to hide yoire on them, and can casually say something like that sounds yummy but I’m on weight loss injections so don’t fancy it, or something.

but yoh can’t go round looking at fat people and wanting to tell them. Good god.

Apparently some people don’t see it as an issue…

I can’t wait until someone suggests I take them though 🤣

Backawayfromthesausage · 28/04/2026 18:46

I don’t understand why you think spouses can’t talk about weight, or men don’t talk to one another about it, it is not my experience. You seem to base a lot of life assumptions on mumsnet.

i went on them, i suggested them to my husband, he was overweight with a belly, bmi just 3o, as his belly worried me, his response was hmm im not sure will think about it, I also told all my friends I was on them not in a try these but a yes im losing weight im on mounjaro type of way. Everyone was interested no one was negative,

2 of the men went on them, 4 of the women, and at a social event a few months later one of the men had visibly lost weight and looked great and said to my husband you really need to try these mate, I feel amazing, so much more energy, and back to a healthy weight, and my husband said yeah I think I will, and did.

there was no shame, no hey you’re fat, no “I’m available for advice”, (how pompous), just pragmatic conversations. These work, feel brilliant kind of way, Between a married couple and friends, so yes, men do talk about it, and yes so do couples.

7238SM · 28/04/2026 18:48

I suspect OP won't come back, but I wonder if she is from a culture that openly discussed others weight loss or gain- even with randoms?

I did temp work and bumped into someone I'd worked with 10yrs earlier. I barely knew her as she worked in another department. The first thing she said was 'Oh 723, is that you? We used to work at XYZ, you've put on weight haven't you!' This was in front of a packed room on my first day!

I had put on weight. I'd lost 3 pregnancies and was still recovering from ovarian stimulation from my most recent round of unsuccessful IVF! Such comments might be common in her own culture, but not in most parts of the UK. Maybe the OP is the same and feels she is this mans saviour? Say nothing OP as I already said up thread!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/04/2026 19:49

Backawayfromthesausage · 28/04/2026 18:46

I don’t understand why you think spouses can’t talk about weight, or men don’t talk to one another about it, it is not my experience. You seem to base a lot of life assumptions on mumsnet.

i went on them, i suggested them to my husband, he was overweight with a belly, bmi just 3o, as his belly worried me, his response was hmm im not sure will think about it, I also told all my friends I was on them not in a try these but a yes im losing weight im on mounjaro type of way. Everyone was interested no one was negative,

2 of the men went on them, 4 of the women, and at a social event a few months later one of the men had visibly lost weight and looked great and said to my husband you really need to try these mate, I feel amazing, so much more energy, and back to a healthy weight, and my husband said yeah I think I will, and did.

there was no shame, no hey you’re fat, no “I’m available for advice”, (how pompous), just pragmatic conversations. These work, feel brilliant kind of way, Between a married couple and friends, so yes, men do talk about it, and yes so do couples.

But by suggesting them, you are actuality sating someone is fat.

But if you really must do this, don’t tell them how they are guaranteed to work

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/04/2026 19:52

Backawayfromthesausage · 28/04/2026 18:46

I don’t understand why you think spouses can’t talk about weight, or men don’t talk to one another about it, it is not my experience. You seem to base a lot of life assumptions on mumsnet.

i went on them, i suggested them to my husband, he was overweight with a belly, bmi just 3o, as his belly worried me, his response was hmm im not sure will think about it, I also told all my friends I was on them not in a try these but a yes im losing weight im on mounjaro type of way. Everyone was interested no one was negative,

2 of the men went on them, 4 of the women, and at a social event a few months later one of the men had visibly lost weight and looked great and said to my husband you really need to try these mate, I feel amazing, so much more energy, and back to a healthy weight, and my husband said yeah I think I will, and did.

there was no shame, no hey you’re fat, no “I’m available for advice”, (how pompous), just pragmatic conversations. These work, feel brilliant kind of way, Between a married couple and friends, so yes, men do talk about it, and yes so do couples.

I don’t understand how so many people rave about them. I have tried everything and several different types yet my health is worsening! How is it that everyone on MN who tries them instantly snaps to a size 6 with no loose skin or stretch marks (which is always how it sounds!)

icouldholditwithacobweb · 28/04/2026 19:56

YABU. How do you know he hasn't tried them and they didn't agree with him? I tried them, they were fine initially but the side effects were too much on both Mounjaro and Wegovy (I could just about deal with the constipation, but not the cripplingly painful frequent gallbaldder attacks out of nowhere, even after not eating any fatty food at all) so I had to stop them. Wish they worked for me like they seem to for others, but they don't. It might be similar for him.

Editing to add: the hairloss on Mounjaro was also horrendous, I lost what felt like half my hair very rapidly and it's growing back but it takes a long time!

XenoBitch · 28/04/2026 19:57

YABVU he knows he is fat, and he knows he is gaining weight. He must have been living under a rock to not know about WLI.

But I think it is fair to mention it IF he brings it up (which you say he never does).

Leave him be.

slumdogminulet · 28/04/2026 21:11

I would be devastated if a colleague brought up my weight with me. I know I am fat and I don't like it but try every day to eat healthily and exercise. There is no sensitive way to have this conversation unless it is initiated by him, so please don't!