AIBU to mention weight loss injections to an overweight male colleague?

[NoNewClothes]

Worked previously with this colleague in our early twenties and he was well built, but tall so not obviously overweight. We’ve now been working together in the same company for about 3 years and in the time I can’t help but see that he had put on considerable weight and is now probably in the morbidly obese range.

I know his wife to see but not really talk to (not that kind of work place). She has the look of a sporty fit slim type. He, like me, early 50s, teenage kids etc.

I know that speaking about weight issues to a spouse is mired in difficulty; from reading on threads here too that’s very much a no no. However I’m now on WLI myself after really struggling with my menopausal weight gain that led me to a bmi of over 30 and finding it so so hard to reverse the upward trend.

The reason I started? Speaking with female work colleagues who are also on mounjaro and had normalised it, plus coming on here and joining one of the many WLI threads.

This colleague is such a sweet guy, and I would just mention in passing that I’m on them - I would be subtle and kind but make it clear I’m available for advice without pushing it.

Reading the healthy life expectancy report out yesterday is prompting this.

or AIBU and only bring it up if he mentions his struggles (which he never does)

I guess she mentioned them as a result of a conversation about weight? I don’t see the harm in mentioning anything to do with WLI if weight, and losing it, is the topic at hand. Otherwise, no. But as you say if he is unlikely to bring up the topic, I’d leave it.

Jeez…leave him alone. He knows weight loss injections exist, people bang on about them enough, and he doesn’t need your advice about them. He knows that being morbidly obese is life threatening and he knows how important a good diet and exercise are. What he doesn’t need is you bashing his confidence and talking about his weight, or giving him your pearls of wisdom. My dh was morbidly obese (and is now just obese) and the number of people who spoke to him about his weight, teased him about his weight, and commented on his weight was awful. It made him feel self-conscious and terrible about himself. So unless he actually opens up to you of his own accord about his weight, please leave this guy alone.

Good lord no. Mind your own beeswax.

This could well meet the definition of bullying, which is defined as 'unwanted behaviour which is either offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting' (ACAS). Almost every person who has been the subject of a bullying complaint insists they are not a bully because they didn't mean any harm. But what matters is the impact on the other person regardless of intentions.

It doesn't matter whether you, or I, regard it as bullying. If the colleague finds it offensive he might well complain about her: he goes to work in order to work, not to be harangued by colleagues relating to his weight. You don't know what health or personal issues he might be going through....if he takes offence then the OP would have to deal with the outcomes of that.

As I say, OP can go ahead and have the weight loss conversation, but know what the potential consequences might be and the risks she is running.

OP I think it is natural that if you’ve found something that has improved your life, because you care about others, you want to share that with them too so they can all get the benefits. Whether WLIs, church, strength training, journaling whatever.

I definitely wouldn’t go out of my way to mention them in front of him. However if is is a very natural situation you could mention it in passing, just the once, in the way you might mention anything else that you were in them but wouldn’t wax lyrical about how amazing them are. Ideally in a non food context eg you have to go to the post office at lunch, your WLI are refrigerated so need collecting from there today.

If you’ve visible lost weight and mentioning he can draw the dots. I definitely wouldn’t say available for questions, that heavily implies you are saying he should be looking at them.

Whilst I wouldn’t be telling everyone about WLIs neither should you have to treat them like a shameful secret.

It’s fine to mention them to anyone you want to. It’s not fine to single out a colleague to mention it to.

I’m relieved when people tell me they are on them. I would never mention someone’s appearance unprompted, but would like to congratulate people who are turning their life around.

I know how hard it is, as I struggle with obesity and managing it in a controlled healthy way is tough.

Why would you do this to someone? Christ alive. Leave him alone.

I lost 3 stone taking Orlistat but very much with an almost fat-free diet and lots of working out, but I have ONLY mentioned this to people in my daily life who ask me "how did you do it?" I'm not going to lie, but hate it when people assume the tablets are doing all the work.

Anyway - no, please please don't do this.

If you did that to me as a colleague I would put in a complaint to HR. Back off. What is with all these WLI zealots? Why do some people who lose a lot of weight develop this weird holier than thou attitude to obesity? Stay in your lane.

Please don’t do this. I am sure he is aware of WLI and his weight.

Just mind your own business.

Unless he lives under a rock, I’m sure he knows all about WLI already. Why do you think they would be news to him?

Maybe he doesn’t want to use them. Or does, but can’t medically.

Or maybe, he doesn’t give a shit about his weight? Not eveyone cares.

Either way, it’s none of your business if he’s 40 stone or 7 stone.

Same - I know I am fat. My weight and body are none of my colleague’s business!

You’d have to be living under a rock to not be aware of them.

He may not be on them for a million reasons, the cost, ethical concerns around testing and manufacture, unsure about the longtem health implications, or he might just not be fussed about his weight

Maybe wait to see the long-term effects not to mention the rates of weight re-gain before deciding if they are a lifesaver.

Does your colleague live at the bottom of the ocean or on a distant star? If not, he's probably aware of WLI already and doesn't need you to mention them.

I can't image is unaware he is overweight or unaware of the existence of WLI at this stage.
Don't do it.

God no, that's mental!

I dunno, risks of heart attack or stroke increase from about 1/20 to 1/4 by 70 if obese with likely associated diabetes etc for men.

How long term are we talking about for long term effects of WLI? I’d rather 20 good years from the age of 50.

But yes, I accept it’s none of my business.

Assuming this thread is real, do you honestly think this man is the last person on earth to have ever heard of WLI?

Do you think his eyebrows are going to shoot up and he'll say, "Wait, whaaaat? Tell me more about this witchcraft, I've never heard of it?"

Not sure whether to 🙄 or 😂

Good god, don’t say anything to him.

This ^
By the way if you want to mention your injections it’s fine. A friend mentioned in passing that she had them and those of us who wanted asked her questions. But it’s once and relevant to our conversation, next time we saw each other we talked about other things.

Absolutely not!! Not only is it a bad idea because it's a colleague, it's a bad idea because he didn't ask you, you are making a lot of assumptions which are not yours to make, it's only your opinion regarding his weight, the implications and how he might feel about it AND you shouldn't be commenting on the weight of others, anyway!

Glad you came for advice before doing something silly!

That's a great idea. Neither he nor his wife will be aware that he's fat, or know about the health implications or the existence of WLIs, so you'd better tell them. Hire the Red Arrows to write it in the sky so they can't miss it. They'll be very grateful and everyone will think you are wonderful.

If you want to talk about your own experience openly to colleagues, not just him, if he wants to ask questions he can. WLI are hardly a secret, they aren't even taboo anymore amongst the majority of emotionally mature adults, he'll already know they exist!

Good for you. Stay out of his business.

It's highly unlikely he doesnt know. It's the 'thing" it gets rammed down your throat by the evangical. Leave him alone.

Don't know how you didn't know. My whole office is on the things it feels like. Waiting for an I am legend scenario as we speak.