AIBU to mention weight loss injections to an overweight male colleague?

[NoNewClothes]

Worked previously with this colleague in our early twenties and he was well built, but tall so not obviously overweight. We’ve now been working together in the same company for about 3 years and in the time I can’t help but see that he had put on considerable weight and is now probably in the morbidly obese range.

I know his wife to see but not really talk to (not that kind of work place). She has the look of a sporty fit slim type. He, like me, early 50s, teenage kids etc.

I know that speaking about weight issues to a spouse is mired in difficulty; from reading on threads here too that’s very much a no no. However I’m now on WLI myself after really struggling with my menopausal weight gain that led me to a bmi of over 30 and finding it so so hard to reverse the upward trend.

The reason I started? Speaking with female work colleagues who are also on mounjaro and had normalised it, plus coming on here and joining one of the many WLI threads.

This colleague is such a sweet guy, and I would just mention in passing that I’m on them - I would be subtle and kind but make it clear I’m available for advice without pushing it.

Reading the healthy life expectancy report out yesterday is prompting this.

or AIBU and only bring it up if he mentions his struggles (which he never does)

No I can’t. Because that is your experience alone. That would be like a person who has just discovered a new religion that has “saved” them constantly going on about it. Enjoy your own private victories by all means - just do not assume a universality of experience.

I have diabetes, it does not mean that I have to take weight loss drugs. I have managed it without any drugs for ten years.

I’m sure he’s noticed that he’s gained weight. For a start he probably can’t see his penis anymore because his belly is in the way. That and his clothes becoming too tight are big hints for men that they’ve gained weight.

OP having a BMI of 30 is currently only a dream for me. I think mine is about 43 or 44. Yes I’m on WLI for the second time now. Had to stop for a while because of the cost.

Since when was it a thing that spouses can’t talk to each other about one of them getting fat and needing to lose weight? I’ve definitely told my DH that he’s gotten fat. We discuss weight loss, eating and injections. We intend to spend the rest of our lives together. We’ve already spent nearly three decades together. Of course we’ll talk about something like weight and it’s health impacts.

Just what I was going to say.

So your female colleague approached u and said
"hey. I've noticed you've got really fat. Have u considered weight loss injections"

Because that sounds like what your planning to do to this man.
Or where they just telling u they've been using them in general chat , and nothing to do with your weight

I don't mean to be condescending so forgive if I come across like it, it is great they have changed your life it really is but constantly thinking about and talking about wli and maybe wanting to advise some one else when advice wasn't asked is intrusive and evangelical.

Yabu, unless he lives under a rock he will know they exist but he like me may have decided the risks are higher than the benefits.

@Lomonald · Today 13:22

It is becoming like a weird cult it's very odd how evangelical people are about them, I can't imagine saying to anyone about their weight, yet the op thinks she can be "subtle and kind" 🤨

Oh yes, the weight loss injection obsessives are incredibly tedious, and yes, evangelical! But for the OP to suggest to a colleague that they could use them, is both rude and arrogant. Rude because maybe he doesn't WANT to use them, and arrogant to think he has never heard of them.

These weight loss injections need to get in the bin. I am sick of them. Them, and vapes, and electric cars need to all be put on a massive fire and never spoken of again!

I would never use weight loss injections, EVER, and I am pissed off right now, because I have lost 16 pounds in the past 2 months and gone down a dress size, by changing my eating habits, cutting out eating crap, and walking 3 miles a day, and people have started noticing I have lost some weight. THREE PEOPLE have asked if I have used weight loss injections!!! NO I HAVE NOT. But the most annoying thing...? TWO of them don't believe me.

@NoNewClothes YABVVVVVVU!

What😳. So, you think either he doesn’t know he is obese, or he doesn’t know weight loss drugs exist? And you need to advise him of either/or? Bloody hell.

It seems absurd to advise people to take drugs without some sort of medical training.

Even those with medical training do not go round randomly telling others to take drugs

Go for it, i reckon.

Pull up a chair and tell him how fat he is and how there are weight loss injections out there for people as fat as him. Finish up by reminding him that his wife looks the sporty type and is guaranteed to lose interest.

Collect your teeth on the way out and consider that sometimes you dont always tell people what you think.

As someone else has mentioned there is no chance he doesn’t know about them, my DH is significantly overweight and is happy to continue as he is. He himself mentioned weight loss injections but then worried about having to stay on them for ever, so decided not to, I would have supported him
either just as I always have done when he’s battled to lose weight.
He works solely with other blokes in an industry where women are few and far between so no one has ‘helpfully’ suggested them to him.
He lost a lot of weight before covid and then was furloughed, the weight started piling back on when he was home bored and he just cooked/baked.
Someone once said to me I should do something about it, not sure what they expected me to do… My DH is a fully functioning adult, who loves food, the making of and consuming, he knows I’d rather he was a healthier weight.
I can’t imagine how he would feel if a colleague told him to try weight loss injections, it’s pretty rude IMO to stick your nose into other people’s health/weight.

If he is that overweight then probably his doctor will suggest them at some point.

To be fair, @NoNewClothes, I think you’ve taken the arse-handing very well, and I do think that you mean well.

Just bide your time. If he doesn’t ever raise it, you know to leave it.

Best wishes with your own weight loss. I know it’s never easy.

It depends really, does he come across as some kind of hobbit who has lived in a hole in the ground for the last few years?

If so then he might be over the moon for the information, if not.....don't be so fucking rude.

No, please don't make it clear, even subtly, that you're 'available for advice.'

No. Not your business.

You may as well introduce yourself to HR right now!

Do you think he doesn't own a mirror or something? What a bizarre thing to want to accidentally on purprose mention. Not all fat people want to use jabs, great for you if you are losing weight and feel better for it, but it doesn't mean that all overweight people want to join in! Leave the man alone, it's none of your business.

Fucking hell!

I rhink it ls a great idea if you want to find yourself in a disciplinary!

I think he probably knows he's overweight.

1000% none of your business

You realise that men don't talk about this sort of stuff, but somehow thought this male colleague might appreciate a weight chat with you 🫣. Glad you thought better of your little chat.

MYOB. I’m sure he has heard about the WLI’s.

Do not mention his weight. EVER. Everyone knows about injections.