AIBU to resent my dad blocking my Mum’s car in the garage?

[Lauraamynic]

Hi All, first post! I’m 40y/o woman, living and working at home with my parents due to my epilepsy (which = inability to drive, lack of freedom and meeting man of my dreams, blah blah blah). I have a great relationship with my mum and we deal with my dad/her emotionally abusive, grumpy husband together. Lately we’re worried he might be slipping into the early stages of dementia (all of which involve tales for another day).

Anyway, this issue involves a garage (bear with me) and has been present in the last few years, since COVID/my dad started working from home and we see more of his delightful self.

Our driveway is a large slope with space for two cars: one to the side of the house, one in front of the garage (a two-car garage rendered a one-car garage due to the usual garage storage). Mum’s small car is parked in the garage. Dad’s large car is parked in front of it, blocking it completely. The space to the side of the house is partly filled by a large storage box for the recycling and waste, so of course it’s too small a space for my dad’s car and it would apparently be unreasonable to put the box somewhere else…

My trips outside are on foot and very local due to my epilepsy (running, etc.) but my mum has always driven her car.

My dad has never had any patience with my mum. He is very unapproachable should she rarely ask him to move his car during the day, so that she can access hers (she doesn’t drive his juggernaut) and she is usually met with a sh*tty response if she enters his study to ask (“AM I DOING SOMETHING?”). Either this or it’s moved eventually on his terms (“Yes in 20 minutes, where are you going anyway?”) or she just goes with him (fun had by all… not).

He never wants to go anywhere but Aldi. Home shopping on Ocado also means mum doesn’t get to look around the supermarkets like she used to. She’s an excellent cook but this situation has meant that he controls most of the incoming food and the “What shall we have for tea tonight?” situation, which used to be pleasant, now involves his knowledge of use-by-dates and rule over the garage fridge! Seriously…

AIBU to find all this utterly frustrating? Sympathy/kind opinions please.

The way you talk about your dad is horrible. The atmosphere at your house must be toxic.

Your mum should park in the street.

Could you move out? That might be best.

To me the concern is that have these parents - the dad who sounds potentially abusive and the mum who puts up with it - really advocated and explored all options for treatment for the OP? Hopefully they have, but it's a bit worrying.

I would be guessing that the DM was subconsciously exploiting her DD to keep her home and dependent so that the DM has a distraction, buffer and ally from her dysfunctional marriage.

Your dad is working, he can’t just jump to move his car because your mum decides to use hers.

He can only park in front of the garage.
But it sounds like your mum can park at the side of the house, so she can do that.

You’re implying that he’s trapping her in the house and controlling what she eats, which is not true because you say he does move his car but 20mins later.

I can’t help but feel you and your mum are the difficult ones here and your dad can’t do anything right.

If your dads so bad, then why don’t you and your mum move somewhere else.