To try and get pregnant at 46

[Whywoojjh]

I’m 46 and would like to try for my first child is this too late? I’m also 47 in July

My mum had me at 21 and I always thought she was ancient. It won’t matter to the child

I’d go for it. But have realistic expectations

I think it's ok to try as long as you are aware that the risk of miscarriage is high , if you are successful in getting pregnant.
Also how long do you think you would give it before stopping trying , as obviously older than this and there would be higher risks.

I would be scared of a late miscarriage.
I do know several people who have had children at 44 and 45 , but not anyone later than that.

Are you fit and healthy ?

I know someone who always wanted to be a mum. It hadn’t worked out for her, as she didn’t meet anyone in her 20/30s, due in part to battling a health condition. So in her late 40s she made a decision to go it alone to make her dream of becoming a mum a reality. I have to say it wasn’t an easy journey for her - first time via IVF with a sperm donor ended in an ectopic pregnancy, and the second time with an egg and sperm donor it didn’t stick. At this point she had to pay for another round of IVF but third time with a sperm and egg donor it did work out and at 49 she had a healthy baby girl (her 1st and only child) via c-section. This lady is lucky to have family and friends who supported her though and you’d need to think about the financial, physical and emotional journey you may have to go on. I don’t think it’s too late for you though if you’re willing to go into this with your eyes open. I’d also say ignore the haters, this is your life, and you are 100% in the driving seat. And personally I’m really inspired by the lady I know as she never gave up on her dreams. Yes it was difficult, but like the saying goes nothing worthwhile is easy, and she absolutely idolises her beautiful daughter. Wishing you all the best, whatever you decide is right for you 💖😊

Not really fair to do this. Not just on the child but yourself. I get the pain of wanting a child and not having one, but it will be so tough on you all

There are so many children waiting for a forever home. Would you consider adopting an older child of maybe 6 or so? You could give them a loving home and not have to deal with the baby stage which to be honest is overrated anyway - when theyre able to communicate and engage with you kids are a joy.

70 year old single mum at your child's graduation, if you make it that far? And leaving the child when you die not only a single child but no Dad either? Doesn't sound like it is in the child's best interests honestly. Not all dreams have to come true - especially not when they impact another person

Rather than thinking about having a baby at 47 think about having a teenager throughout your 60’s.
It would be a no from me, having already turned 53 I can def feel issues with my joints, stamina etc and feel I’d struggle just now let alone when I’m 65

If you can, you can

41/42 had a fibroid it was horrible periods would show when they liked and as for that horrible discomfort don’t get me started. April 2024 was advised as peri but 6 months on at a different ultrasound clinic apparently fertile as hell.

Nearing 45 I have periods each month to the exact letter unlike at 41, they have never been better. I even have medical problems which would bring on an early meno but I am not witness to it.

My problem is meeting a male this age who feels the same.

I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant and just about to turn 48. Overall I’m actually feeling less tired than I did with my last pregnancy so far. No regrets here, although I’m not looking forward to telling people, I don’t think people will be as pleased for this little one, which is sad.

You can try, but you're unlikely to have much luck. And there's a high chance the child will have health problems.

Why not apply to adopt a slightly older child OP? If you adopted a 6/7 year old you’d be a good age when they were going to uni etc.

Lots of kids in care who would massively benefit from a stable loving home. It would be one of the best things you could do with your life.

Do take care.

It is biologically possible to conceive naturally at 46 or 47 or later, but rather rare. Even using IFV at that age has a low success rate.

Many of these comments do not seem to fit with what is happening in modern society. The number and % of births to mothers over 40 is increasing significantly. In my own friendship group I have 3 friends who had a baby at 44 ( a 4th, a 2nd and a first.) My mother is still alive and well at 93. Had she had a baby at 47 that child would now be the same age. The idea that most people are elderly in their 60s is ridiculous- look at Trinny Woodall, Liz Earle, Nigella Lawson, Jo Wiley.

I think for me op it would depend on your circumstances. How fit and healthy you are and how much energy you have. How long you've been looking after yourself well for.

What your support network is like and whether you have a good network who would be around your child if something were to happen to you. Obviously it could happen to any one of us at any point, but more likely if you're starting older that your child may lose you early or need to care for you potentially. Similarly you'll know it may be more likely a child would have complex needs and who would be the people who will long term support that child were something to happen to you.

Similarly I'd be thinking about financially how well off and secure you are and what you are looking at pension wise as your child may still want/ need support from you when you want to finish working.

I think if you are fit and healthy and have been looking after yourself well and have the security in place around you then you wouldn't be unreasonable to go for it. But I'd be seriously considering whether there are other avenues such as fostering etc where you could give something really great to a child.

It's not about that.

My friend's mum got pregant with her when she was early 50s. My friend was responsible for grocery shopping etc from secondary school because they struggled. She was having to argue with clinicians about community nurses coming on Thursday not Tuesday because she had a GCSE exam. They were too old to work so money was tight. She couldnt go to uni because they needed looking after. Then her mum got dementia so she needed to stay living at home. She spent most of her teens and 20s looking after her parents. They never got to meet her husband or their grandchildren. Most of her decisions as a young adult were based on what her parents needed and they werent there for so many of her important adult moments.

They were nice people, they hated this but there was no one else.

If you have all the financial resources of celebrities we see having children in their late 40s/early 50s and showing us on instagram how fit and glowing they are in their 60s, that's something to mention OP.

I can understand. First DC when 28 this end and couldn’t imagine parenting young ones in late 40s. Fair play to those who do but nothing prepares you for peri if it hits hard so to have a baby or toddler on top is next level. Not to mention the teen years. OP however hard you think it will be, times that by 100 (at least!). That said, being more stable, patient and worldly wise can be a plus.

I think this is scaremongering, sorry for what happened to you but me and most of my friends have had a baby (1st or 2nd) at 35 and every one of them is healthy and fine.

Are you very rich? Lots of in-person support for you and the baby?
If not, then no it would be madness

Op I think it fully depends on ds how you feel. How old is dp? There would be a high risk of miscarriage but you can give yourself a time frame and see if it works out. I know someone who had ivf twins at 47. They are in their early twenties and no longer have their dad. But age is different for everyone.

I would try, but as I'm sure you are aware, the odds aren't in your favour. Nothing is impossible.

I cannot believe the crazy comments on this thread!! Will keep this short. I had my much wanted child at 44yrs. Social stuff- I am fit, healthy and a hell of a lot more active & fun than some younger parents! As an older Mum I have the confidence to mix with any groups. Young parents who don’t have the social graces / gumption to hello at groups? I initiated chat. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and modelled social interaction to my child, win win. We have a v happy, fun life & are in a great social circle.
Re some of the bat-shit stupid comments above - “Picking kids up at the school gate in middle age”- what a shitty comment! Yes, I do! I am proud of being an older, stable, solvent, confident mother. I volunteer at school events, (young mums don’t always want to get involved/have the confidence).
Medical info- we went the IVF route after 2 miscarriages. I wish you well in what you opt for. Consider IVF if possible, natural will probably be more difficult.
I had to respond to the comments above! Am I tired, sometimes but I am a night owl who doesn’t moan on about tiredness. Am I happy, definitely. Is my family happy & thriving, yes indeed. Worth it? Hell yes- late 30s or mid 40s = you have sh*t together. Life experience & setup. Highly recommend it!

a relative had her child at 45 and a friend at 46. Conceived naturally - in fact my relative has PCOS and was told at her age she couldn’t get pregnant so relaxed on the birth control and boom. My friend got married at 29 and just let nature take its course so was very surprised to find herself pregnant after so many years. Anyway the parents aren’t particularly tired or anything and the kids are late teens and early 20s.

If you want a child, you go for it. No one knows your situation, but if that's your desire, you are fit and healthy, that decision is upto you. Believe me , children are hard work, even when you are a much younger parent...Think long term, sleepless nights, costs of nursery if you need it, school runs, parties, sleepovers , and the cost. If you are definitely 100% , you may never get the chance again, would you regret that? A work colleague had a baby at 43yrs of age, she seems to do ok, moans like we all do at times, she is very happy, and all is well with her...Only you can make the decision, whatever you choose, will be the right thing . Good luck

Gosh all these replies telling yiu how selfish you are for considering this. Having children at any time is selfish, inherently so. And it’s tiring and hard work no matter how old you are. It’s no-one else’s business but yours @Whywoojjh .