To try and get pregnant at 46

[Whywoojjh]

I’m 46 and would like to try for my first child is this too late? I’m also 47 in July

Up to you but it can be unpredictable. I was in excellent health until around 50 and it all went South quite quickly and the thought of having a 3 year old to look after would be close to impossible.
If you've a support network, perhaps.

I’m 43, no kids. When someone asks me if I’d like to have one before it’s too late, I point out that if I had really wanted a child, I’d have had one/tried for one by now.

Sorry OP but I think it’s too old.

Why are you thinking of it now? Opportunity due to a newish relationship where it feels right, or a final flush of hormones trying to turn your head?

My mum had me at 45..... and im ok lol

I totally agree. I also think it’s ridiculous and selfish for men too, but why does society not say so, they only mention the mothers?

More than wanting a baby at 47 (babies are cute and it goes by pretty quickly), are you seriously prepared to cope with a teen in your 60s?

Because the mother is the one whose health and earning capacity are ruined by pregnancy, childbirth and child-rearing.

Men provide the sperm at the beginning of the proceedings, and not much else.

Well your age increases the risk of miscarriage, still birth, maternal and natal death and chromosomal issue such as Down Syndrome. Fathers age increases the risk of autism and other very serious developmental issues.

Its up to you, but its not something I would do.

I think it’s a very selfish choice.

One of my neighbours had a baby at 47. I don’t know the ins and outs but baby is almost 5 now. At least you will be 47/48 with your first so no other child/toddler to look after. You’ve also had years of unbroken sleep so should he full of energy. Best of luck.

It's very selfish to plan this. A 10 year old with an almost 60yr old mum? Potentially that child will have to spend their early adult life worrying and looking after you when they should be out living their own life.

Not to mention increased risks with pregnancy and child birth and the health of the child.

I'm very sorry if it's something you think you are missing but yes, it is too late.

Women have babies in their 50s more than you'd think (google it if you like, before anyone says it is impossible).
Can't be denied that fertility drops after 25 (gynae said so), but some women are lucky, and you might be one of them.

I’m 47 this year and have a 6 year old. I am absolutely knackered and perimenopausal AF. I’ve got a 10 year old too and I’ll be honest, I don’t look my age - but I struggle to keep up with them. I could, but I just don’t want to be squeezing through a soft play or running around playing football. I just want to lie down quietly hahaha! I am not honestly sure I could do the newborn stage again at my age, and here’s the thing - everyone tells you you’ll be knackered but you can’t understand how knackered they mean until you’ve been there youself, but it’s a tiredness you feel in your very bone marrow.
Think about your life more generally too - next 5 years at least, sexy holidays will be harder. I used to go to the Caribbean every year plus an adventure holiday to Asia or South America every year before kids. Now it’s centre parks and bloody Mallorca.
if you work, and want to stay working, childcare ( in Surrey ) is now about £2k a month full time.
For me, this time in my life is when I could also start going for more senior roles at work and I’ll be honest, much as I want to ‘have it all‘ I’ve realised those bigger roles come with a work life balance that I no longer want to do. I want to be able to take the eldest to his football match, to do reading with the youngest etc. I’ve always fancied starting a business but I feel I can’t as I’ve got to have a guaranteed income for the kids.
think about their senior school years - have you got enough saved if you want them to go to private school? Would you have to keep working to put them through Uni and have enough to pay for all their expenses in their teenage years? Would you be in a position to help them get a house or car if you’ve retired?
Everyone has their own life and priorities. I thought I’d share mine as I’m a similar age to you.

But it’s not nice for the child to have either an old mum or an old dad. By the time they’re a teen there is more chance of watching their parent suffer from ill-health. It’s a lot for a young mind.

Men should consider their age too when contemplating having a child. It’s selfish not to.

The physical tole on their body of pregnancy and birth is significant, especially as you get older. I loved being pregnant when I was 29. I'm 46 now. My health hasn't changed much but the idea of putting my body through pregnancy alone at this age is horrible.

Plus, in most cases women do the majority of child rearing.

This.

Try if you want to, but I think most of the concerns are moot and would only be important if you were early 40s (when deciding to try to get pregnant still means a reasonable chance of getting pregnant). I had an accidental and unwanted pregnancy at 45 and was planning to have an abortion if necessary. But as soon as I started reading about it, I realized that there was very little need to plan anything because I was almost certain to have a miscarriage, which I duly did at eight weeks. Not a very pleasant experience and I regretted being careless with contraception. In retrospect, it was also quite surprising that I even fell pregnant during one month of no contraception (stopped pill, was waiting to get coil). At 46, you are highly unlikely even to get pregnant. But, if you do, the chance of miscarriage is really really high — 75% or more.
Given that there’s almost no chance of success, I really wouldn’t even be considering it.

Don’t you think you’d be pretty knackered no matter what your age though? I’m a single mum and 41 with a 5 yo and I know I’m a bit younger but not by much, I have younger friends with the same age kids and I’ve never noticed I’m anymore tired than them (even during the baby & toddler years)

You are soon to be 47. Yes it is too late to try for a first child. Wealthy women do it, of course, using egg donors and surrogates and lots of nannies and help. If you are in the wealthy category, you could go down that route. But I strongly suggest talking this through with a therapist : why now at nearly 47? What are you actually searching for and what are the other ways of finding that?

I think Gina Davies was 48 when she had twins. Honestly if your healthy go for it

If you are healthy and WEALTHY

But clearly not wise

Many 46 women are not in peri they are simply healthy

Adopt xx

Is this a serious question ? Of course 46 is too late to have a child ! Just because most people you know have children later doesn't mean it's right . It's incredibly risky to try for a child at 46. If successful the chance of there being chromosomal abnormalities with the child is really high because we are not meant to be having babies at that age ! It's also incredibly selfish and I could never bring a child in to the world knowing I'll only have such a short time with them

I had a flash of hormones when I was early 40s. Having a baby wasnt possible for many reasons but I still really wanted one and was so sad about it. I had a dream that I was pregnant, had a baby and it was everything I ever wanted.

When I woke up and realised it was a dream, I was heartbroken and actually cried.

I told my husband and still remember the look of horror on his face because he thought I was going to say I wanted a baby!

I did some calculations eg having to spend our retirement money on uni fees, having to look after grandchildren when we should be going on holidays, being mistaken for grandparents at school plays... and all that is assuming our health doesn't deteriorate.

I'm still sad sometimes but have accepted it now and am ok with it.