To try and get pregnant at 46

[Whywoojjh]

I’m 46 and would like to try for my first child is this too late? I’m also 47 in July

I couldn’t think of anything worse than having a baby at that age.

As soon as my daughter was born (when I was 38) I have been wildly calculating how old she will be when I die, and how much I desperately hope to live to a very good age and in very good health. The idea of her losing her mum when she is young really upsets me. No way would I have had a child at 46, knowing she may likely lose her mum before she hits 40.

I had a dc at 43.3. 2 mc and a mmc before I was 45. Dr told me very slim chance I would carry a baby to term
Also had a mc at 48. That was a shocker..
You could ask GP to evaluate your fertility but be prepared for disappointed..

Children do love their parents. Also you can get inheritance much sooner.

I knew someone who felll pregnant by accident at 46 (her other kids were late teens) and as a Catholic didn't abort. She was very happy with her 4 year old at 50, but she was a very together person and had done it before. So it depends....

But that's such a silly way to look at it. Some people's parents die when they're babies. OP could have a baby next year and then live to 115. None of us know how much time we have.

I have always been the strongest believer of our bodies guiding us. If OP manages to conceive and carry, she clearly isn't too old to have a baby, as her body is allowing her to do it.

Will this be your first? IVF can be gruesome and lonely and very hard but if you have the money and the energy then why not?

If there a big back story to this?

Go for it. If it works great, if not at least you tried. I’m 52 and no more knackered than I was at 20.

Have you frozen eggs?

My friends are going to start IVF soon at 45(her) and 54. She froze her eggs years ago she was waiting for MrRight.
They will be first time parents so know no different but I personally wouldn’t recommend.
Being a parent is a million times harder than people let on. So much exhaustion, stress and worry goes on behind closed doors.

Please don't, collecting a kid from primary school in your mid - fiftes? And coping with a teenager when you are mid/late 60's?

Just no

65 with an 18 year old starting university doesn't sound too bad.

It is very sad to lose your mum when she was 448, but it is not connected to the OP's situation.

I made friends with mums who were in their early 50s when mine were in pre-school and primary. Both also had grown up children/ older teens. They were probably knackered but so was I. One worked part time, the other was wfh and her husband did a lot of the childcare. They were most probably knackered but I think they also loved it. There was definitely no stigma around it.

You can't possibly know that. You haven't had the suffering of infertility! You weren't in the ops shoes as you were blessed to have a child at 26. Not everyone walks the same walk as you!

Leaving aside the low change of carrying a healthy baby to term, and the impact of that child having such an old mother, please consider your own reproductive organs. You've never given birth, and things down there just won't be as robust as someone in their twenties, thirties or even early 40s. You'll be a kick in the balls off 50 by the time you go through labour, and you'll probably really injure yourself.

YABU. It's too late. Lots of people on MN will tell you otherwise ofc.

Quite. I’m 44 with a 4 year old and a 2 year old and I’m not tired.

I am slightly shocked at the responses when most women I know had their first child very late 30s/early 40s. I feel that is quite normal now. Is 46 really that much older, if biologically it proves possible. Obviously quite a bit depends on that.

Gosh no chance sorry! I’m 45 and woah… no chance. But I do have an acquaintance who has had two babies via donor eggs… at 48 and 49!

OP, I'd ask to get this thread moved to a pregnancy board. You are going to get responses here from people who cannot possibly emphasise with you.

I should say that I am early 40s with three young kids and am loving it!

It would be completely unreasonable to do so.
You need to accept that children are not for you and move on.

Your child has a higher than normal chance of being disabled, making it even harder as a parent.

You'll be hitting menopause with a tantrumming toddler.... 😵‍💫

It’s a stupid, selfish idea.

a wanted baby is a happy baby assuming that wanted baby doesn’t have life-long disabilities, the possibility of which is high in which case that baby may sadly not be as wanted when it turns the OP into a carer 24/7.

And if it doesn’t the baby will be without its mother by the time it’s 30 most likely, or at best visiting her in a care home.

And at 65 people will assume that the OP is her child’s granny.

How embarrassing for the child. Assuming again that is that said child doesn’t have significant disabilities.

Menopause is there for a reason.

Yes occasionally people get pregnant late in life, and occasionally things work out. But more often than not they absolutely don’t.