AIBU to think correcting a slightly unusual name pronunciation is unnecessary?

[Slownie]

Hi all,
So my niece has a parent who isn’t from the uk, she has a name that’s very common in the uk but pronounced slightly different. Think Isabella but pronounced “ee-sa-bell-ah instead of iz-ah-bell-uh or Eva said eh-va not ee-va.

My sister insists on correcting the pronunciation every single time, even if the person mis-pronouncing is most irrelevant and my niece also has started doing this (and also insisting on the longest version of her name)

AIBU thinking that if you are born and raised in the uk you should expect the name to be pronounced the way it normally is, in the uk and not correct everyone, every time?

Ooof I bet you and your sister have one hell of a depressing past together!

If her name is Ev-ah rather than Eeva, why shouldn't she correct people? She isn't Eeva. I can't decide if you are being obtuse or just want to pick holes in your SIL.

Totally agree. If you’re a foreigner in the UK you should absolutely stamp out all characteristics of your original country and don’t tell anyone that you have a different culture. British bland all the way!

@sowie I wouldn’t want my name mispronounced.

Anyone else wondering how OP pronounces it?

You think it’s unreasonable for someone to politely ask you to stop calling them the wrong name even when their actual name is perfectly easy to pronounce??

Utter horseshit

How will people know if they aren't told?

So a little girl should just put up with being called the wrong name? YABU.

I mean I find it ridiculous that people choose a Welsh name, Sian for example, but pronounce it as Cyan but, at the end of the day, they have the right to say their child’s name however they like, and people should just say the name the way they’ve chosen it to be said.

And probably repeatedly pronounces it incorrectly just to piss off her sister

Unreasonable as fuck.
I know an Esme and an Esme… one is Ez-mee and one is Ez-may and I pronounce them as such.
Who the fuck am I to tell a child she should put up with strangers mispronouncing her own name her entire life.
Get off your high horse OP and pronounce your niece’s name correctly.

So if your name was Louisa and people called you Louise would you correct them? Of course you would and of course you sister can and should correct peoples pronunciation of her daughter name. However she does need to accept that when meeting new people they will probably pronounce it wrong

This “should expect the name to be pronounced the way it normally is, in the uk” makes me this the op just doesn’t like it because it’s a ‘foreign’ name.

I have a Welsh name. I have been just come back from a cruise and our cabin was served with men from many places. They couldn’t pronounce my name right. Not once did I correct them. It didn’t matter to me at all.

The BRITISH way.

It’s a nod to her heritage and important.

It's really not OK to shorten someone's name without indication that its OK. If a child and the parent tell you the name is Benjamin that's the name you use - not Ben.

But her name isn’t Izzabella, it’s Ees-a-Bella, or whatever. What you are saying is a different collection of sounds, and not her name.

I dunno, I'm on the fence here. I basically accidentally changed my name (it's still spelled the same, but pronounced differently) when I moved to a different country, purely because I couldn't be bothered correcting people all the time, and it was easier just to go with the pronunciation people in this country are familiar with. It's always a surprise when my friends here meet my friends and family from the UK. But its my name, and I'm an adult. Probably I would feel differently if it was one of my children's names (all carefully chosen to work in both places!)

Im laura. I worked with a lot of Europeans who pronounced my name their way. Tbh it didnt bother me, although there was other people who corrected people who didnt pronounce it our way. I also had one Bulgarian lady constantly spelling my name Lora because of our way.

I guess if it bothers someone its only them that can correct it. If it doesnt then crack on.

@Femalemachinest ha ha we have the same name! Maybe it's a Laura (Lora/Lau - Ra) thing to not give a toss...

I have the opposite problem. Some people pronounce my name in a slightly more exotic way and I have no idea why (think E-le-na instead of Eleanor). I’m English, though living in the States, and have olive skin and dark eyes, so it could be that. I don’t bother correcting them.

I think people should call people by their names, not they way THEY think it should be said.

I also note that you say the child is insisting on the long version of her name. That's fine, if she prefers her full name to a shortened version, why shouldn't she use that? My daughter accepts being called a shortened version because we have shortened it pretty much since birth, but she likes the full name and introduces herself as it when she's asked her name.

It's her name, she's allowed to want to be called it.

Oh ffs, of course she is right to correct how people pronounce the name if they say it incorrectly.

I have an Irish name. Some people mispronounce it because they don't recognise it/have heard it said a different way. Should I just accept any version of my name without correcting people because it's a different language? No! Should I have anglified my name so that people in the UK can sound it out phonetically? Fuck no! Do you change your name when you travel so that the locals can say it easier? Doubt it.

On the other hand, should you tolerate mild differences based in accent? Absolutely! But that doesn't seem to be what you're suggesting the issue is. Just pronounce her name the way she and her family say it.

I have a Welsh name and it’s consistently mispronounced everywhere outside Wales. I’ve had to make my peace with it because I’d go mad otherwise. I think a bit of grace on both sides wouldn’t go amiss - try to pronounce her name as she wants it pronounced, definitely (and deliberately not doing so is a dick move of the highest order), but equally, if there’s an English ‘version’ of that name, they need to be prepared for most people to assume that it’ll be pronounced the English way.

I alway wonder how people with names like Alexander and Frances deal with this. Is it very annoying to have people from the other end of the country use the wrong a sound?

I think you should pronounce a persons name as they say it. My only caveat to that is if it contains sounds that aren’t in their native tongue and they are doing their best but failing. The Welsh ‘Ll’ for instance, or the click tones in Xhosa.