AIBU to think correcting a slightly unusual name pronunciation is unnecessary?

[Slownie]

Hi all,
So my niece has a parent who isn’t from the uk, she has a name that’s very common in the uk but pronounced slightly different. Think Isabella but pronounced “ee-sa-bell-ah instead of iz-ah-bell-uh or Eva said eh-va not ee-va.

My sister insists on correcting the pronunciation every single time, even if the person mis-pronouncing is most irrelevant and my niece also has started doing this (and also insisting on the longest version of her name)

AIBU thinking that if you are born and raised in the uk you should expect the name to be pronounced the way it normally is, in the uk and not correct everyone, every time?

Not certain which way to vote as I think it’s fine to correct people you’ll have any sort of a relationship with, but I think it’s a bit pointless (and even slightly aggressive) if the person who’s making the mistake is someone you’re only interacting with very briefly and will never meet again.

This. It gets old really fast if you are the person doing the correcting but just because it is written down a certain way doesn’t mean that is the noise their name makes. A name is a series of sounds attributed to a person. Say the correct sound. Anything else isn’t their name regardless of how it is written down.

She should only need to correct anyone one time. After that they should know how to say it? And of course she needs to make sure it’s pronounced properly.

How can you be certain you will never meet them again? It doesn’t take much to use your ears and get it right.

That is your choice. If you hadn’t chosen that then the people in the other country would have learnt eventually, probably after the first time you told them!

I don’t think I’ve ever read a more unreasonable post.

Pronounce it how the person wants their name pronounced.

Pronouncing it "your" way instead of theirs is rude and an asshole move.

New to mumsnet?

Checking into a hotel for example, I wouldn’t correct the person at the desk if he/she pronounced my name differently. Or if a shop assistant in my local city did. Mostly they’re reading my name from a list of guests or orders, so their ears/listening skills aren’t relevant.

I do actually have a name that can be pronounced a few different ways, and this is what I choose to do. I don’t think it’s necessary to insist on a certain pronunciation in the sort of situations I mentioned. I can guess at the likelihood of meeting someone again, and if I get that wrong, well, it’s okay to make the correction at a later stage 😁

You're wrong

Nah I just read one about how bad sourdough is, that was worse.

I mean unless I am going to deal with them regularly, or it matters, honestly I don't. I get called the equivalent of that on a faaaaiirrlly regular basis and just don't care that much. I correct them if I am going to come across them regularly and I think they'll be embarrassed at a later date, or if I need them to write my name on a form or something.

What do you mean the longs version of her name? Her name is her name.
If she is Isabella she is Isabella not izzy. Izzy is not her name.
Pronunciation is very much part of your name too

My dd’s name is commonly mispronounced -if it is someone we will see regularly then I would correct if it was a one off random (Starbucks etc…) then I/ she don’t care.

If someone keeps getting it wrong we just keep saying it correctly, not pointedly but I might have used her name a bit more than I would normally.

When we lived overseas everyone pronounced my sons name the local way not the British way - we just rolled with it.

So I’m actually with you OP, it only becomes an issue if you make it one. No one who was (is she has grown now so don’t know how it is dealt with now) in regular contact kept getting it wrong and if there was the occasional slip up, no big deal.

Absolutely fine and acceptable to correct someone who will be using the name a lot - friends, family, teachers etc. The child is entitled to be called her correct name.

For someone you encounter once (or very occasionally) who is never going to have to use the name again, pointless to correct it.

Both of my kids have names that are mispronounced (although the "wrong" versions are used by others with those names). I did (nicely!) correct DS's teacher when he was in infants as it was bothering him, but now many of their friends pronounce their names incorrectly to my ears and I don't say anything as kids are old enough to say it themselves if it annoys them.

It's fine to correct someone, so they get it right. It's only twattish to continue if the person physically struggles with the pronunciation, because of a speech issue etc. It wouldn't bother me, one neighbour calls me Sue, another Carol, as the saying goes, as long as you call me for dinner, I'll answer to anything.

Oh I think we know

I would always pronounce someone's name in their preferred way if I'd been corrected about it.
On the whole for my own name, I'm not too fussed either way.
I did, however, object loudly when, on meeting for the first time, an old school pal of my husband's, he proceeded to refer to me by the name of our dog!
And no, my name's not Fido or Rover. 😅

Pronouncing someones name right is just basic manners.

OP, a name is imoortant, and it’s clearly imoortant to your DSis that people get her child’s name right. Nothing wrong with that.

My surname - born right here in England but have a Scottish surname - is mispronounced every day. I correct anyone who mispronounces it, every day. It’s not a big deal and your sister isn’t unreasonable.

People rarely say my name properly, even after I've just literally introduced myself. It drives me insane and so I let people call me by a diminutive that isn't "me" but saves a lot of aggro when I'm at work. It's annoying when you tell someone your name and they don't say it correctly. I'm 56 and I will always correct people. It's my NAME! A customer once told me that the pronunciation of my name depended on where the person saying it was from. No it doesn't, it depends on what my mother called me, and she called me X not Y! So yes, you are being unreasonable!

😂 possibly. Ive also had Lauren back on my work experience at school, thought not going to see these people after 2 weeks so Lauren it is 😂

I work with a Polish lady called Marta. Im from Yorkshire so my accent changes it slightly. She isnt bothered but again others have corrected me. I cant help it, I dont change it on purpose, so I get the accent thing.

Of course you're being unreasonable. It's staggering to me that you even need to ask. Why wouldn't a child, or the parent of that child, wish for them to be called by their correct name?