AIBU to think correcting a slightly unusual name pronunciation is unnecessary?

[Slownie]

Hi all,
So my niece has a parent who isn’t from the uk, she has a name that’s very common in the uk but pronounced slightly different. Think Isabella but pronounced “ee-sa-bell-ah instead of iz-ah-bell-uh or Eva said eh-va not ee-va.

My sister insists on correcting the pronunciation every single time, even if the person mis-pronouncing is most irrelevant and my niece also has started doing this (and also insisting on the longest version of her name)

AIBU thinking that if you are born and raised in the uk you should expect the name to be pronounced the way it normally is, in the uk and not correct everyone, every time?

I've had people mispronouncing my name for much of my life - I'm 66 - although not much now that I changed the spelling of it (now they think I'm male!). I can't say it has blighted my life, and I didn't bother correcting them. In the scheme of things it is really not that important.

Edited to say that I have learnt over recent years that I am much more laid back than the average MNer 😃

my nan couldnt pronoucne my name its not that unusual my dad kept correcting her she said she couldnt say it she just couldnt be bothered
its rude

I have an Esme aged in her 30s and I never had to correct people because it was a very unusual name then …now I cringe if people refer to her as Esmay !! So yes I would correct if wrong pronunciation.

I have an unusual name ie only met one other person in 50 plus years with the same name. So not surprisingly lots of people mispronounce it and I genuinely never care and never correct them because I don’t mind … but I also see nothing wrong with someone wanting their name pronounced correctly and I think it’s rather racist of you to think she should just put up and shut up with the English version of her name.

People pronounce my name slightly wrong all the time, I certainly wouldn’t bother for a one off interaction (why, what is the utility, they won’t be saying it again?) and at work I let it go as well. In my personal life I gently correct the people I see on an ongoing basis but there are still some I haven’t bothered if it seems to much hassle. I think it’s precious to be that bothered especially if you have chosen a name knowing it will be an issue. I think people on this thread are being overly contrarian, I don’t think anyone believes it makes sense to correct someone who will never say the name again, it’s just a waste of everyone’s time.

Yes, good idea with the email footer.

It's impossible to know what you mean from the way you have spelled those names.

What's FROHN supposed to rhyme with? Throne?

What's FRAN supposed to sound like? Like a southern English, northern English or American person saying it? Or someone else? South African?

It’s the bath/barth divide isn’t it?

I’m guessing Francis from London pronounces his name Frarn-cis as a non-rhotic speaker would pronounce it. (I know that extra r makes no sense if you’ve a rhotic accent…that’s probably why @YankSplaining transcribed it differently.) My friend from London says it like that anyway.

I say the first syllable of Francis to rhyme with man or pan, so I pronounce the first vowel quite differently to my London friend.

It depends for me. Is the correction a pair of sounds that aren't actually different in one of the languages?
So in English we distinguish Izz abella and Eeez abella but in Spanish there's only Eeez hence Spanish speakers saying Sheet for Shit.
But Eeeva Vs Eva is actually different in Spanish.
And English people can't say some sounds that other people can. We'd probably say Laklan because we can't say the ch sound in Lachlan very well.

Yes, she probably means bath/baath divide, but then I disagree with the conclusion.

If a London Francis is spoken to by an American, they're going to use an American-accented pronunciation of the name. It won't sound like how I would pronounce Francis. This doesn't matter at all.

A Yorkshire accent and a Cockney accent pronounce "Jane" very differently. If a London Jane goes to Leeds, they shouldn't get into a tizz because people pronounce their syllables differently there.

Yes, I disagree with the conclusion too @MasterBeth and said as much upthread 😁

I’m still trying to figure out if the various pronunciations of Isabella as outlined by OP are different to ‘accent’ though. I think they probably are if English is your first language? That is, I’d say Ee-sa-bella if that was requested by the owner of the name. But would stick to my own pronunciation of Francis iyswim. Not sure where the line is drawn to be honest 🤔

I'm still mystified by this whole "frohn" thing.

We naturally factor in local accents most of the time and that's fine. As a southerner I can introduce myself as Frarnces but if a northerner shortens the vowel, or an American turns it into an American "a" ("eha"?) then they are still saying it right.

However if someone needs to override that, that's up to them. For example I'm very much of the "barth, grarss" persuasion but that doesn't mean it would be correct for me to pronounce the name Sally as Sarly. If I did so, Sally WNBU to correct me.

didn't mean to quote you there @Purpletable

I’d just do everything I could to avoid saying her name.

My midwife was called Eva, pronounced Ev-ah. I wouldn’t have called her Ee-vah because that wasn’t her name!

I'm still mystified by this whole "frohn" thing.

I’m guessing Frarn-cis as the person in question is from London.

Frarn-cis or barth make absolutely no sense as a phonetic transcription of the sounds involved when you have a rhotic accent as most Americans do (as rhotic accents pronounce all the r’s in a word).

I have a rhotic accent too and was really confused when I first saw people using ar like that on MN. I’m used to it now. From my point of view ‘frohn’ makes more sense than ‘frarn’ does 😁

I think this is key. I also have a name that some cultures pronounce differently because it contains sounds not common in many languages.

If someone I'm dealing with in passing like cruise staff or hotel staff or basically anyone who is only in my life for a short period then I don't care how it is pronounced.

But a member of the family or someone I work with or socialise with then yes I will correct them and pronounce their name how they want.

Fair enough! I’ll let it go!
The name is Isabella and I always felt it was a bit odd to constantly correct from the very popular and standard British Iz-ah-bell-ah to the Italian Eez-ah-bell-ah, but I guess I’m wrong!

My name is very unusual,

It ends sa - people pronounce is za - it infuriates the hell out of me.

So yes I will correct them - there is no z in my name its a s, an s is softer than a z

Well, it’s not her name, though. It’s another culture/language’s version of her name. It would be like expecting a Frenchman called Guy (rhymes with ‘see’) to allow himself to be called ‘Guy’ (rhymes with ‘tie’) because that’s the way it’s pronounced in the UK, by family who know what his name is.,

It's rude not to take the time to pronounce someone's name, especially your own niece!

I think part of OP’s issue is that it seems everyone is corrected, not just family and friends.

I have a name like this and don’t correct people I have no relationship at all with (eg a hotel receptionist). I’d find it pointless and picky to correct people who don’t really know me and never will, but each to their own I guess.

My daughter is called Lyla. Even family friends who've known her since birth (7 years old) sometimes call her Layla. Teachers do it too. She corrects them and so do I, because she isn't Layla and it upsets her.

Of course its reasonable to correct people who mispronounce your/your child's name. Also reasonable to not correct them if you can't be arsed. I live in Finland and my last name is nearly always mispronounced but I don't correct that as I'm rarely called by it (basically just at the doctors) but I will tell people to call me by my nickname which is impossible to mispronounce.

I’ve been watching a few TV shows recently where people pronounce characters names slightly differently. It’s never acknowledged and no one seems to care. In one, the Australian woman calls her son Aaron. She pronounces it Ah-ron. Her kind of boyfriend pronounces it Air-ron. In another show the character is called Fatima. Half the show call her Far-ti-mar and the other half say fati-mer. No one gets upset of offended by it though. I have no idea if it’s deliberate. I’m assuming the director would tell the actor to change it if it wasn’t right?