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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to challenge my partner's Sunday football commitment and family time?

123 replies

TheSoundOfHome · 25/04/2026 22:38

AIBU to confront my partner about joining a football team that plays a competitive match every Sunday at 4pm? I feel it now puts Sunday 'on the clock' and means we can't really have a full day out as a family like we used to (we have two young kids aged 6 and 9). I thought we had a unwritten rule that weekends are sacred family time while the children are young but my partner has now unilaterally decided to take time out for themselves and break this arrangement. They say the Sunday match is non-negotiable and seem to take it for granted that I'll look after the kids between 3 and 6 every Sunday. Any thoughts on how I should best handle this (we've already unfortunately had a bust up!).

OP posts:
PoppinjayPolly · 25/04/2026 22:39

Do you both get equal down time/hobby time?

NerrSnerr · 25/04/2026 22:52

Personally I would just make sure you take time for yourself, you could do a few hours Sunday morning? That leaves Saturday for family stuff. I suspect that in a few years weekends will look different and your children will be doing hobbies etc anyway

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 25/04/2026 22:55

So you had a rule in your head for family time but never told him that and are now annoyed he's broke a rule he didn't know about?

Morepositivemum · 25/04/2026 22:56

It’s a tough one if it’s every single week, if it were a Saturday morning I’d say fine as you then have the rest of the weekend. Saying that I used to be a runner and dh used to cycle and it wasn’t a big deal on weekends that we’d disappear for our own time for a few hours, and we never made it a big deal to the kids but just that Sunday afternoon timing sucks!!

DiamondCity · 25/04/2026 23:00

Are the matches all year round? No off season?

It’s difficult, I think it’s good for both parents to have a hobby and get time to themselves. But he should have had a discussion with you about it first. Do you get any time to yourself? Maybe carve some out on a Sunday morning to do what you want to do whilst he spends time with the children. Then have Saturdays as strictly family time where you’re all together.

Coconutter24 · 25/04/2026 23:02

I thought we had a unwritten rule that weekends are sacred family time while the children are young

Does he know about this rule?

Miranda65 · 25/04/2026 23:04

It's half a day..... a weekend is two whole days. It's really not much, and everyone deserves some time to call their own. Take the kids to watch him play - they might enjoy it!

Shouldgivethisup · 25/04/2026 23:05

My dad played cricket every weekend; we went and watched. Take the kids to see their dad, they might like it x

Yesreallyitsme · 25/04/2026 23:05

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for your partner to want a hobby, it’s healthy. As previous poster has said, you should then get equal time for your own hobby or interest.

It won’t be every Sunday of the year that he plays, there will be breaks.

1apenny2apenny · 25/04/2026 23:07

I think these things are fine when you both have time like this for a hobby however it often seems to be men playing football/golf/cycling whilst women don’t do this for themselves. Personally I think this is because women put children first whereas men put themselves first and children/family second.

Since this seems to be an unwritten rule ie what you as a woman think is best, you need to wake up and understand that your DH is on a different wavelength. Don’t tell him/ask him just quietly say that it’s great he’s going to football and that you also had planned a Saturday morning activity (insert Pilates or even better a group activity). Then on Saturday just get up and go out for your Pilates etc. it’s really that easy. If your DC do activities it’ll be easier looking at who’s doing what and it not all falling to you.

toothcrackedow · 25/04/2026 23:08

I’ve said YABU. he’s allowed a hobby and something that gets him out of the house and exercising is great.

Grapes308 · 25/04/2026 23:10

Tell him it's fine, that you are going to have 9-12 every Sunday morning so you have equal down time. Then make sure you use it- out of the house, so you don't get roped into parenting. You could do gym, swim and sauna, breakfast with a friend.....

Denim4ever · 25/04/2026 23:19

A sporting hobby that carries on into adult and parenting years is more than the average hobby or commitment. As such, it's something I'd not stand in the way of.

Motheranddaughter · 25/04/2026 23:24

This would not have bothered me at all
Just make sure you get 3 hours to yourself too

cestlavielife · 25/04/2026 23:26

You get sunday morning 3 hours (he can cook lunch too) he gets afternoon.

Original poster
TheSoundOfHome · 25/04/2026 23:30

I don't currently have any time to myself at weekends, I work from home during the week so look forward to family time on Saturday and Sunday. My partner has only taken up football recently (a work colleague introduced the idea of joining a team last year), although they did apparently play when they were younger at school. I don't have any problem with solo pursuits at the weekend but that fixed time of 4pm on Sunday afternoons really sucks. And I used to enjoy our days out together on Sundays, perhaps my partner less so?!

OP posts:
Forty85 · 25/04/2026 23:30

Wouldn't bother me at all. What is the issue with looking after the kids between 3 and 6?

blankcanvas3 · 25/04/2026 23:31

DH goes to the football every weekend but I get that time back in other ways. I don’t think it’s fair to ask him to stop his hobby unfortunately. Just make sure you’re also getting 3 hours to do whatever you want.

Tollington · 25/04/2026 23:57

It’s not exactly ruining the weekend. 4pm on a Sunday, the weekend is pretty much over by then. Why don’t you have some time to yourself at some point?

Flamingojune · Yesterday 00:08

Funny how many men take up hobbies with young kids at home

ohnonowwhat1 · Yesterday 00:41

Just change your days out together to Saturdays x

cadburyegg · Yesterday 01:02

Grapes308 · 25/04/2026 23:10

Tell him it's fine, that you are going to have 9-12 every Sunday morning so you have equal down time. Then make sure you use it- out of the house, so you don't get roped into parenting. You could do gym, swim and sauna, breakfast with a friend.....

I agree with this. Make Saturday family day. It’s totally acceptable for him to have 3 hours on a Sunday afternoon. Presumably it’s not all year round anyways

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · Yesterday 01:08

The main issue is him not discussing it with you beforehand. He's entitled to do it but so are you. Sunday mornings are yours from now on. You can do anything you want so don't be made to feel guilty

TappyGilmore · Yesterday 01:21

I think both of you should get the opportunity to do things independently, without the kids, but until the kids are older no-one gets to “unilaterally” decide that they’re doing something at a specific time - of course there needs to be a discussion about it.

Shitmonger · Yesterday 01:23

Is this a same sex relationship? You’re doing the “my partner/they/themself” thing which for some reason lesbian women often do on MN.

I wouldn’t tolerate a partner suddenly telling me it was “non-negotiable” to spend every Sunday afternoon at a new hobby without a reasonable discussion. Especially not if he (or she in your case?) is going with a colleague.