AIBU to rethink things over DH's stag weekend Reform shirt?

[Wavery2]

DH is on his stag weekend and I’ve just been sent a photo of his night one outfit for their city centre bar crawl.

He’s in a full football kit with a blue Reform shirt complete with ‘Farage 10’ on the back.

AIBU to consider LTB?!

It’s falling quite flat, I must say.

Please could you articulate exactly why you think I should tolerate and appreciate views that I consider to be dangerous and damaging to our country?

Of course there is room for debate and differences of opinion within a democracy, but would you not accept that there are some views which are unworthy of respect?

Personally, I find some views unacceptable. Far right extremism like Reform is one. Taliban-style Islamic fundamentalism is another. As far as I'm concerned, there is no place for such abhorrent views in a civilised society and we should neither tolerate nor appreciate them.

Where exactly would you draw the line? The Nazis came to power by democratic means in 1930s Germany. I'm sure that there were voices warning against them at the time. Do you think those people who were sounding the alarm back then should have been more tolerant and appreciative?

So Reform voters are...
Option 1 : Fascist
Option 2 : Conned by fascists
Are there any other possibilities you can think of or just those two?

I can’t. What do you suggest?

Dunno? Sociopath with an interest in seeing what happens if we elect an extremist government?

My first suggestion would that being "politically progressive" is utterly worthless to society when you lack empathy, imagination, or a willingness to look for the best in people.

You can joke about this kind of thing but it’s not actually funny.

For me I would genuinely divorce my husband if he became a Reform voter because it’s so far from my politics and values that it would render us completely incompatible value-wise.

I have a variety of differing opinions from friends and DH about loads of things, but our core values are the same which in why we’re compatible.

A significant change would be a big issue.

Exactly. He was presented with that shirt on his visit there.

Being "politically progressive" doesn't mean that we have to pretend that all views are equally valid. It is ok to have a moral compass, and to find some things morally unacceptable.

It is also perfectly possible to have empathy, imagination and a willingness to see the best in people while simultaneously seeing that people are sadly being manipulated. I do understand the concerns and frustrations expressed by many of those who say that they will be voting Reform. I just don't agree with their diagnosis of what's causing the problem and I can see they are wildly misguided in thinking that the far right is going to offer them any solutions.

I feel sorry for them, actually. They are being horribly exploited by people who couldn't actually give a shit about them, and they will end up voting to make their own situations worse than they can even imagine. But they just can't see what's happening.

It's like watching a car crash in slow motion.

So you can’t answer your own question. Fair enough.

If this was my DH, my vagina would close and never open again.

Perhaps you need to aim higher. I mean surely you can do better than someone like that?

(Apologies for derailing this enthralling thread)

I don’t think the issue is whether ALL views deserve respect. Clearly some don’t. The question is how we respond to them.

In a democracy, people will hold views we find uncomfortable or even objectionable. The more constructive approach is usually to understand and challenge those views, rather than move straight to writing them off as 'stupid', because that doesn’t address why they exist or persist.

Once we start deciding which views shouldn’t be tolerated at all, it becomes difficult to define where that line sits. And critically, who gets to draw it. You!?

We all draw our own line. How would it benefit me - or anyone else - for me to try to understand something I find viscerally abhorrent? Let alone waste my time trying to challenge it.

This. I came on here to say I assume it’s a joke and that he actually hates what Reform stands for, because it seems to be the thing to humiliate stags on their stag do (weird when you think about how on hen does it’s about making the hen feel special!) eg a friend of ours was made to wear a Brexit top and a MAGA cap. But if he actually supports Reform that’s an entirely different kettle of fish.

No wonder divorce is in the increase. He is on a stag do. Let him be

People marry partners who vote Labour. Explain that?

If my dh proclaimed himself a Reform voter , divorce would definitely be on the cards, trust me

So you were happy to marry him knowing he votes reform, but not happy he wore a tshirt telling other people?

"The more constructive approach is usually to understand and challenge those views"

I just wonder @MissyMooPoo2 if you have ever had a constructive conversation with someone "in a full football kit with a blue Reform shirt complete with ‘Farage 10’ on the back" and " who is voting Reform and has been very vocal about that!"?

How did that challenge work out and did it improve understanding on either side?

You do understand that OP is winding everyone up, right?!

But more importantly, if you aren't willing to engage in discussion, who's being intolerant here?

Can but didn't.

Yes I do.

I did engage in discussion. I asked questions of you that you've chosen not to answer.

I’d be calling the wedding off!

Question for you. If you were someone who was basically a decent person, didn't like the EU, voted Brexit, thought immigration was a bit too high, and were mistrustful of the parties that had formed the last few governments, who would you vote for?

This for me is the profile of an average Reform voter. It's not my own political leaning, but i think it's a more realistic (and far more boring) picture than your options of either the committed fascist, or the gullible idiot doing the bidding of fascists.