Daughter didn’t enjoy holiday

[Personil]

DH and I went on holiday with my DD (11). When asked if she enjoyed the holiday she says it was ok but was ruined by being left on her own for 2 hours every day. What she’s referring to is when we went for a siesta. Months later she’s saying she wouldn’t want to go again. WWBU?

Are you being sarcastic?
We don't drink during the day, neither do my parents or in laws. Most of the people with whom I've been on holiday over the years only drink in the evenings. Drinking in the heat is just going to knock you out for the rest of the day.

No. Some of us like tone to themselves

Cant say i blame her, other than the mornings, its a lot of doing nothing. Great as an adult, completely boring for a child/teen.

You would have a 2 hour nap, but you're not considering the additional time she probably had to wait around for you to get up/ready.

Leaving her to go to the pool by herself.

Evening entertainment, more sitting around and watching shows/comedy/music.

Maybe for a couple of the days, but the whole holiday?!

OP are you an older parent?

Is your DH her dad?

Kids can and should entertain themselves but I would say most people on here under a certain age would get bored with just a book to read every day.

And you were expecting her to want to nap.
I don’t know any 11yo that wants to nap during the day.

You say she enjoys baking etc with her grandma like it’s odd but most 11yos enjoy doing things like this and being creative.

I don’t think you are a bad parent or anything, but I do think your expectations of her are different to what she’s actually like.

Some people can actually 'consume alcohol' and be responsible

I actually can't believe the batshit comments on here. Parents can enjoy themselves on holiday too you know. Kids don't need to be with them 24/7.

Did the siesta involve sleeping off alcohol by any chance?

I've been on holiday with relatives like this, drinking, alcohol induced nap, more evening drinking.

They were incredibly boring and too tired to do anything else. I never went on holiday with them again. And I was old enough to go off and do my own thing.

@ConnieHeart

even just a sip of wine can impair you. Not ok when caring for a child

I can't believe she had nothing to do all afternoon except read

What a waste of a holiday.. You can't have gone that far in the mornings.

If you need that much sleep then it's cheaper to stay at home

How about taking her on a holiday she'll enjoy next year?

I didn't say she was being irresponsible - just that drinking in the sun makes you tired.
Defensive much?

Another one. Afternoon is from 12 till 5. They were asleep for 2 hours

Sorry OP that people on here make up their own facts or are incapable of reading

A SIP of wine can impair you? Yeah okay then 🙄

I don't drink and it affects me very quickly. Even I wouldn't be impaired by a sip of wine though.

I doubt they had lunch before 12. So assuming finished by 1pm, they're asleep approx 1-3

She went to the pool on her own as they could watch from the balcony (how fast could they get down there if she was in trouble?)

This was an adult's holiday with their dd tagging along

I was born 1970, never experienced this. My parents would have the odd evening out either as a couple or with friends, when DB and I would be left with a sitter, either our grandmother (widowed, before any starts about grandfather's not pulling their weight), Great Aunty Bridie (as mentioned on another thread!) or a neighbour whose kids we were friends with. My parents never buggered off to the pub with us left in a beer garden.

Just making the point that that wasn't normal parenting for everyone back then. And I was a very independent child who spent hours by myself exploring.

TV was in Spanish. Her options appeared to be read or sleep for 2 hours every afternoon, then dinner then bed again.

Even if they are going to bed at 9pm anyway?

Presumably at home she has a variety of toys, books, TV etc? She didn’t have a whole lot she could do there though, unless they took loads of books and toys with them?!

Bloody hell the OP is unlikely to be back given the amount of ridiculous sniping going on now.

A sip of alcohol is irresponsible? Wtf is wrong with people? I don't drink but I can't see anything wrong with parents having a glass.of sangria or whatever over their lunch. (The creatures all day drinking in the all-inclusive resort though make me despair for humanity but that's for another thread. )

The replies from the op point to a child that maybe is feeling sad and lonely with a mum who doesn't notice. OP is your DH her dad? I think you really need to prioritise getting close with your daughter. It's weird you didn't know she was bored. Myself and DD started a tradition of a 'girls getaway' when she was four. We go to a city for a few nights and do lots of fun things together, excursions or whatever. Or we go on a girls road trip to visit someone, really it's all about the motorway stops.

Your dd is telling you she wants your company.

Would you consider letting her help plan the next holiday?

It's not the crime of the century. I mean, if you had very active mornings and then very active afternoons/evenings, it would be no harm to rest and stay out of the sun for the hottest part of the day. But it sounds like your day pretty much ended at lunchtime and then you had an early dinner. It also ruled out any day trips. That's assuming there were day trips available where you stayed - perhaps that wasn't an option. I love days by the pool and beach, but I also like to mix things up with a day trip or two.

What bothers me about all of this is that you're simply accepting that your DD didn't enjoy her holiday much and is going to opt out of the next one. Would you not just ask her what she'd like to do for your next holiday and try to include some activities she'd like? I've an only DC and we found that city breaks worked well from age 10+. Lots to keep us occupied all day and then we went out for dinner in the evening. Ideally, we chose a hotel or apartment with access to a swimming pool, so we could have a quick dip in the pool before breakfast. To make it fair, everyone was given the opportunity to spend a day (or maybe two days) doing their preferred option. If you normally go away for two weeks, maybe split your weeks. Let DD choose her thing for one week and then pick a holiday to suit yourself for a different week - DD can stay with her grandmother for that week, if she'd prefer it. Or mix it up - quiet day with siesta and then a more active day.

I don't think the world should revolve around children. I wasn't raised that way myself and I don't think it's the best way to raise children. But I also don't think children should be seen and not heard. Your DD will be a teenager in another year or two. I think you should start to include her in your holiday plans and discuss them with her. Before you know it, she'll be an adult and will spend all her holidays with her friends and/or partner. But it would be nice to have a few more family holidays with her before she gets to that stage.

At 11 I would have been happy to read for 2 hours, but not all 11 year olds are the same as I was, and many posters seem to forget that.

I still think that being able to actually sleep for 2 hours in the afternoon and go to bed early and sleep all night until 8 am is an excessive amount of sleep for a healthy person.

😂

I don’t understand question.

Did you take your daughter on holiday and then leave her alone for 2 hours so you could go for a lie down?

YABU. I am assuming you haven’t learned lessons from Madeleine McCann?

Ha ha ha ha. Not true.

Can you offer some suggestions as to what she could do for the 2 hours daily, keeping in mind she won’t have had the variety of activities available in her own home? Reading, fine, presumably brought a book or two. What else if she didn’t fancy reading one day or not for the full 2 hours?