AIBU to feel unsupported over sleep deprivation and caring responsibilities?

[WTFshouldido2020]

Me & DH just argued about how tired I am.

back story: SEN child + old dog + my ADHD means I don’t get ad much sleep as I need. I do work PT, mon-we’d. I’m 45. He cooks, I do everything else in the house.

The past 7 months I’ve found all this particularly hard, feeling down, exhausted & no motivation. I love my SEN child but it’s like being on a rollercoaster of stressful events even without lack of sleep.

DH is the type to sleep 9-12hr every night.

I've felt awful this week due to sleep de privation. My dog will prob die this year & my sleep will improve but I don’t relish that prospect. My SEN son will still walk past my husband to wake me up when he can’t sleep.

Heres the issue. I know I can’t talk about how bad I feel (including poss perimenopause) with my husband because of how he reacts. I just did & He said I should wake him up, he can’t help it & im unreasonable. When I tried to explain that would mean I would wake up & what’s the point he got angry. He left the room& returned saying the same thing, when was asking him to listen to me he left mimicking me.
im not saying I was calm or perfect, but when he reacts like that I can’t speak about how I feel.
life hasn’t been easy for me & I need kindness. I have no parents or anyone who looks out for me/who I could talk to. I try my best for my kids & love them so much but feel so lonely.

it’s hard to convey to someone how awful you feel from sleep deprivation. He doesn’t get it because I shielded him from it.

So you cant chnage the situation mucb but you could perhaps consider hrt and check with sen child's specialist about melatonin.

You need to be really specific with your husband about what you need so you get some sleep.

Eg tonight I need you to sleep on sofa so I can sleep.

Then tell your son if he wakes up then he needs to go downstairs and get his father.

I don't understand the dog issue. Could he be shut in the kitchen overnight.

You need sleep. And you need to tell him.what to do to get sleep.

Then when you are a bit rested and then you can have a proper conversation about managing both your health going forward. Sleeping 9-10 hours and more at the weekend is absolutely not normal and the sign of underlying health problems

Stop waiting for him to offer, tell him what you need him to do so you can get some rest. It’s really annoying when someone tells you they’re tired but won’t tell you what they need you to pick up for them. Just tell him directly.

Does one of you have to sleep with the dog every night. If the dog is so poorly might it not be kinder to have it PTS?