To believe the school over my dd?

[durdledoris]

Dd is in year 9 - was always an angel at primary , smashed her sats etc but now in year 9 isn't quite the angel she used to be. Has a lovely friend group but we quite often get emails from school saying she has been sanctioned in class for low level disruption- never goes any further than that and when we speak to her about it, it's always the same "it wasn't my fault" response. Never her fault.
Today she got a detention - apparently a boy behind her kept throwing paper at her so when she did it back, she got in trouble. The email from school said it was because she was disruptive and kept turning around.
We have been talking to her lately about her upcoming GCSE's and we know she will be ditching a few subjects but it's not fair to ruin it for others who want to learn so basically, in those subjects, keep a low profile amd do what you have to do to get through til the end of the,year, which is only a few weeks.
She is crying in her room saying it wasn't her fault today - aibu to keep her phone and tv remote while she has a long hard think about her behaviour?

It sounds like she was chucking paper in class and got a detention because she was caught. I doubt she was the only one and it doesn't really matter who started it. It isn't a particularly big deal and doesn't need to be analysed or have an extra punishment at home. If her behaviour is deteriorating generally then you do need to monitor it but I wouldn't worry too much. Yr 9 is standard age for this kind of stuff.

Is this how you discuss teachers and schools in front of your kids? We are just doing our job, we don’t deserve this kind of abuse.

Niblings is short hand for nieces and nephews.

You have the ability to teach them how to effect change but most people don’t.

And that's exactly why schools should also teach it rather than expecting blind obedience!

What the fuck?

I can’t wait for the end of year 9, it’s well know to be a horrible age and school year! My DS sounds a bit like your DD, OP. It’s calmed down recently but he had a slew of behaviour points earlier this year for low level disruption and it was always “it wasn’t my fault, x y and Z were doing it but I was the only one who got told off” yada yada. Thankfully his parents evening was really positive with just a passing mention of occasional distractions. So I’m seeing it as an age related blip!
I don’t give another consequence at home but I do always lay out my expectations, that I’m disappointed and that the teacher shouldn’t have to put up with crap behaviour.

I would believe my dd personally but only you know yours well enough