I can’t afford the lesson

[Thoseflatbreadslookyummy]

Do I cancel or pay double next week

Bit embarrassing, Dd has a music lesson this week, the teacher asks for cash after each lesson. I’m self employed and waiting on a late payment through no fault of my own. It’s a bit of a risk for the weekend if I pay the lesson and my money doesn’t come in by then.
Would you cancel the lesson citing illness etc (we missed just one before due to genuine illness) or go and apologise and say I didn’t have time to get money out etc and pay double next week, that feels embarrassing and disrespectful though 😔

Why did you start your post ‘I said I would ask…’ Your post makes it look like you were updating, as you said it looked like the usual set up and it looked like the teacher was fine with it, hence the confusion.

I haven’t seen the update confirming the teacher was okay with it.

I’ve been in this situation and asked the person if I can pay them back on pay day. Fortunately for me, they agreed. Sometimes life happens. All you can do is ask and see what they say, OP.

Presumably you wouldn’t be able to be so chilled about it if you were relying on the money though!

Be honest with her

I'm a tutor
I'd much rather you contacted me and explained briefly and asked to pay next week.
That way I am not out of pocket, and I don't feel messed aroudn by you.
Cancelled lessons are a pain

If the teacher is sensible she'll rethink her terms and conditions. I require payment by bank transfer a minimum of 24 hours in advance and I have a 24 hour cancellation policy. I will be flexible in cases of illness and emergency - one of today's long term clients told me he had been admitted to hospital as an emergency, so he'll be rescheduling

In general though - no payment received and the session doesn't take place.

You are out of pocket for that week though. The OP can’t afford to eat and pay for the lessons. What if the teacher can’t afford to eat this week if she doesn’t get paid?

I started my post “I said I would ask” because in my original response to the OP, I had said: I would ask the teacher. Which is what you responded to, so I didn’t think there would be confusion about what I meant, sorry. And in the OP, she said she had missed one before and presumably paid for both sessions the following week when they attended again.

My assumption that the teacher was fine with it came from the fact that the teacher continues to accept cash, and that if she had a problem with being paid the following week she would have switched to asking for bank transfer on the day whether sessions were attended or not.

I understand this would not be ok with some people - like yourself, it seems - but it would be fine with others, so I suggested that the OP ask the teacher rather than being embarrassed.

Fair enough. Apologies, I misunderstood!

My point was that having late payment has left the OP choosing food or music lesson. And what happens if that is the dilemma for the teacher?

No problem.

I understand that this is what you think is most important. I was simply attempting to answer the Op.

I guarantee you my income is lower then yours its not about how much money you have its about how you manage it and being prepared for emergencies.

Can't you just lower your shopping bill the amount of the lesson for this week

Well, maybe you should get a credit card for situations such as this!

I always find it weird that people think not having a credit card is a sign of good financial management. If you use it correctly it's better than not having one (improves CS, can get cashback, stoozing, back up if your main bank's system go down or account gets hacked etc.)

Having a credit card doesn't mean you have to use it! It can sit in a drawer for years if you want, it's just useful to have for emergencies.

it isn't ideal but the options are to pay for both lessons next week, or cancel this weeks.
I would rather teach the lesson this week and get paid next week, than have a cancellation for which I don't get paid.
At least I know the money is coming.

As a tutor you do have to factor in that some lessons get cancelled, I don't charge if the child is ill for example.

I misread dance / music/ art so what its all optional

My point is if she's so close to the bread line she cant eat she should be putting the 100-150 pm shes spending on this unnecessary expense into an emergency savings account.

No child needs any of this stuff. its a nice to have.

I would just be straight with her.
She may accommodate you, if you lie, from experience, they will charge you anyway

They might not be, but the OP shouldn't put them in a position where it would be a problem if they were.

It is really good for children to learn music, good for brain development, good for feeling good and wellbeing, good for confidence, good for life generally, something which will make a difference for the child's entire life.

I commend the OP for setting aside money for this.

OP take no notice of the typical do gooders perfect mumsnetters..they're not really thought just make out they are,good on you for cancelling and still going to pay next week,if she's so good she will fill this weeks space quickly,you weren't to know you were going to be let down last minute,it happens to many people,even the oh so perfect mumsnetters you know but they'll never admit it 😉..xx

Why lie? Be honest and say as a one off could you pay next week as by cancelling your wasting both your time . You may find that you have to pay for missed lessons in any case. We do with our swimming lessons

Thank you 🙏I work so hard and do stretch myself for everything for her

Thank you 💓 Always seems like everyone else is so perfect

You are fine OP. Good decision

Some people can't drop a bone!

A music teacher can't fill a space for one week only!! That's not how it works. You are allocated a time slot that is then your lesson for the rest of the term or even the year. Even if this teacher has a waiting list she can't just offer someone OP's slot this week as they'll expect to have that slot permanently going forward, you don't just take 1 piano lesson then the following week when the OP is back, stop again.

Exam season is upon us. Ordinarily I would agree. I'm a tutor. My Ts and Cs are that evening spaces are every week. But now the exams are here if anyone is away I can fill that space with someone wanting an extra lesson.