To be so angry after watching "Love on the Spectrum"

[Jobs4kids]

As the parent of two high functioning young adults. Admittedly I only watched one episode (no wish to watch anymore) but was dismayed to see that all the autistic people featured were infantised and presumably picked for their entertainment value (awwww bless them). I actually watched it after overhearing a colleague say how funny it was.

I feel it's representative of just one type of autistic person - those that come across as frankly odd (for want of a better word), obviously autistic with terrible social skills, and who in many cases can't live independently/attend mainstream education. It's an extremely wide spectrum and many people with ASD, such as my kids, don't come across like that all! My son, while quite quiet, has an excellent job and interacts in public very normally (can be a bit quirky behind closed doors though!) My daughter is away at uni and comes across as very outgoing and socially able with a large circle of friends, including a few who are also high functioning ASD. Many of her newer friends don't know she's autistic (only brings it up if relevant to the conversation) and she says most she's told seem surprised, although one remarked "ah that's why you're so good at chess!". That's not to say being autistic doesn't cause her a lot of difficulty - she's an expert masker, which is why she wasn't diagnosed until nearly 18, and there are times she needs to go into hibernation as her social battery gets depleted as all the acting "normal" is incredibly exhausting. She also constantly worries about how she comes across, replaying interactions in her head and is prone to depression, anxiety and self harming (has started counselling to help manage all this). She can also meltdown in private. While she's not had a serious relationship as yet, she's had a lot of interest (no surprise, she's extremely attractive) and I worry some may be put off upon finding out she's autistic, especially after watching programmes like this!

I think it's a shame they don't also include people like my kids and some of their friends in the programme to demonstrate the vastness of the spectrum or it because they would make very boring TV as you couldn't laugh at them?!

Sorry for the rant but both my husband and myself were so cross after watching this and pray my kids don't see it!

I mean..high functioning !

Which new group of kids do you mean?

Yes I thought if the Firth interview too. She says she now thinks that autism is not a spectrum at all and that you either have it or you don’t, and that a whole swathe of young people who she describes as ‘highly anxious’ have been misdiagnosed. It was an interesting article and she has made me re-assess my judgement of my own son as someone who is highly sensitive rather than high functioning autistic.

Children like the OPs I would guess.

One thing to bear in mind is that some ASD children who initially appear like other kids can be different at home. For example on a regular basis my son can break down at home and start screaming that he wants to die and run around hitting himself and me. I’m guessing most neurotypical kids are less likely to regularly do this.

However he is less severely affected than some of the ASD kids I volunteer with who can only say a handful of words, for example. Some people might meet him and not realise he’s autistic and just think he’s being a kid with his unusually nosey and direct questions.

A specialist team of speech therapists and child psychologists in the NHS decided that my son was autistic. He struggles academically at school and has quite a lot of emotional problems which are challenging to deal with but I acknowledge he does not face as many difficulties as some children.

I've watched all the seasons, and the programme shows a wide range of people on the autism spectrum. I think at least 1 of them is a millionaire in her own right, because she owns an animation company. Another person is a senior manager in advertising. She went to university and is fluent in Japanese. I've seen some of the people have gone on to raise awareness and write books about autism. Some people have gone onto to successful careers in acting and voice over work. Some of the people need more support from their families, and have more child like interests, and some of them live more independently and hold down jobs.

The producers of the show are Australian. The show started in Australia

The dating coach in the programme has autism as well

I guess you didn't watch all the series or you would see relationships and marriages etc. coming from a adhd and autistic family most of my siblings have various forms the worst being age 29 but will always act like a ten yr old so known various degrees..my parents and us loved it and tbh some of us wouldn't be in relationships without there and extended family help when needed or married to now..... personally I think your attitude is weird if you e actually loved with it for years and should know some ot the hard things or put falls and the program actually helped us find other ways in dealing with to siblings in a better way we had never thought of

I think LOTS is a lovely show. It shows many ‘levels’ of autism, some have great jobs and live alone, others need to live with parents and need help to do every day tasks.

The "high level of care" some people with a learning disability get. Sorry to bring it back round to the darker aspects already discussed but there are posters on this thread spreading really naive and harmful opinions.

Trigger warning for upsetting content
https://youtube.com/shorts/0-2hOiOWXyg?si=HmpH2PdaihfqxzJG

ITV are investigating this topic a lot at the moment.

Both my DDs (17 & 16) are high functioning ASD. Both diagnosed at fifteen. My oldest DD has watched the series and absolutely loved it. She learned a lot about traits that she has eg. Synesthesia. I haven’t watched it but she has described it as very touching.

IME they ascribe all the issues to having a learning disability [not always accurate in fact] and therefore nothing to do with them/ their child.
Conveniently ignoring how many folk with LD have no autism based difficulties

Completely agree. Even just looking at the people who do have an LD (which is not all of this group) - the difference between a person with LD but no autism and an autistic person with an LD is massive.

A highly discredited article by those within the autism world as it dismisses all we have learnt as to go ow autism can often present in women and girls.

And others spreading hugely harmful abelist content as per usual re how autism presents and impacts those who have it without a comorbidity of a learning disability.

DS2 is neurotypical. He shares a hobby with three young people who all have diagnoses of autism. All attend mainstream schools without support and take part in this hobby without support. They all know my DS1, who can’t attend the group. DS1 also has autism but is much more severely affected than they are. He went to a special school and now attends a day centre funded by Adult Social Care. He’ll never live fully independently. DS2 was chatting to them in one session about autism and why his brother isn’t in the group, and none of them could quite believe that DS1 has the same condition that they do, because their experiences of autism and of everyday life are so different to his.

Are you not even going to back track at all on your assertions that the high support needs autistic people (who don't even always have an LD) all get the "high care" that they need etc etc?

Or just glide right past it to continue making points about a group of autistic people who definitely have challenges (including big ones if they comorbid have serious mental illness) but are otherwise a relatively privileged group compared with those who you seem to think get all the care and attention they could need and want? Denying a difference in need is actually ableism.

Bringing it back to the thread, the OP is outraged that (hilariously named) "extreme" autism is even shown on TV in case people associate those traits with her very high functioning children. That is obscenely offensive but happens quite often. Children who would have been given an autism diagnosis 50 years ago and will never live independently are being shunted out of autism - into like the "that freak behaviour isn't autism, it's LD" (when for some of them that isn't even true) by a highly vocal group who literally talk over them (because they often can't really talk). That this group advocate for themselves would be great, but not at the expense of a less privileged group who can't even stand up for themselves and have just as much right to occupy the autism sphere (and awareness raising, and research, and support groups, and discussion in education etc etc)

Oh I've had "are you sure?" about my children being autistic because they are non-verbal etc. A complete reversal of 15 years ago or so!

“ priviledged”!!!! 😱

Are you going to back track on the many outrageous things that have been said about autistic people without a learning disability? Including the accusation that the same group( that get no support at all) are competing for resources!!!

It’s unbelievable, offensive and ableist to boot.

It’s a widely criticised article, not a discredited one. Her views have supporters too and many agree with parts of what she says without supporting the article as a whole.

It has been discredited and is only supported by extremely abelist, misogynistic activists who dismiss how autism presents in women and girls.

Well I can't back track on anything someone else has or has not said and I think everything I've said is completely balanced. How do you know I'm not autistic myself?

Do you not see any layer of privilege between the OP's children and my own, one of which cannot talk, cannot use the toilet, they both run at cars, one self injures severely every day, (and many, many more behaviours). They will never work, never get married, never have kids, never live independently. They rely entirely on the goodwill of others. If anyone hurt them, indecently assaulted them, humiliated them (a big, big risk with this group of people) I would likely never find out.

In all marginalised groups there are layers of privilege. It is mind blowing you cannot recognise that.

What type of support would benefit autistic people who attend and do well at mainstream schools and have careers and their own families? There is understandably a lot of concern about the lack of support for people in this situation - but what would the support be?

I hope you’ve learnt something from these responses- you sound insufferable.