Why is EBSA more common nowadays?

[HotLikePapaJohns]

Why is EBSA more common nowadays?

I have read on other threads that it's always been an issue but I don't remember it as a child. Yes, there was some truancy in secondary but not in primary.

Is it that kids are more able to express their feelings? Or that school has become harder? What can be done about it?

The term “lazy parenting” does alot of heavy lifting for a lot of issues. Lazy labelling of parents is cheap, whereas addressing systemic issues isn’t. It reminds me of when politicians express outrage over something that isn’t happening or state a change that needs to happen based on fiction.

There are definitely good things about primary schools today where practice has improved (eg phonics, mental arithmetic, grammar are all better than my childhood) but this is a big, systemic issue that is increasing and being blunt is blighting children’s lives and their future prospects.

Schools recognising this and advocating for these children does not mean that they aren’t doing other good things or that it is all their fault - what it does mean is that they can use reflective practice to begin to tackle the issue, which is actually quite a powerful weapon. As is unions, MATs etc being clear on what they need to improve attendance and universities etc seeing this as a priority for research & student projects. It’s not really reasonable to expect parents to “see the positives” if they are caught between a very unhappy child & a school system that isn’t supporting them not least because those children aren’t getting into school to see the positives. If we don’t solve this, we will literally all pay for it via benefits, NHS costs etc.

Looking at the things that have changed since my childhood & when my DC were in primary, these are some of the changes that are worth reflecting on in no particular order:

1. Most children walked to school when I was in primary school- encouraging that would probably be helpful as it would be good for those who need movement breaks, good for mental health as well as childhood obesity & good for socialisation. It’s a tricky issue as this was facilitated by childcare being done by SAHPs & childminders, but local & central government could do a lot more to improve road safety around schools so that it’s safe to walk & cycle and that children can easily travel independently as soon as they are old enough to do that. Same argument applies to playing out.
2. SATS - these put a lot of pressure on children (formal exams, mock tests, extra revision sessions etc) but their key aim is quality assurance for schools. Could this be done in a less pressured way & one that doesn’t use up so much curriculum time? Same argument applies to Ofsted inspections that put a lot of pressure on staff.
3. SEN - when I looked around schools before my DC started reception, I can remember a headteacher explaining to parents that if they had a child with SEN, to get this assessed before starting school so that support could be in place from September. That was when parents had Sure Start & easy access to health visitors etc for support. Contrast that now with delays of several years for child mental health assessments and my council failing to meet deadlines for the vast majority of EHCPs. The government is thankfully starting to tackle this by reintroducing Sure Start.
4. Also on SEN, there’s a real need for training on EBSA & anxiety & trauma so all teachers etc know what they are dealing with.
5. Behaviour & school readiness - I’ve run out of time to post but these are definitely issues where there is a lot to think about.

It's easily explained.

One calmer more docile child didn't ever react in a way that required parental input.

The other naturally had more stubborn, wilful tendencies, and required firm, consistent boundaries to learn obedience.

How you react to school from day 1 influences how it ends. My friend & i both had daughters who fussed at the school gate. I was brisk and quick & never gave any attention (positive or negative over it), and within a few months it dwindled.

Friend clucked over her daughter when she did this. Lots of long drawn out goodbyes, a huge amount of attention and some very inconsistent strategies. As a result 3 years on she still often makes a fuss.

Her grandparents drop her off a day a week. They have always reacted the way I did. She never does it to them.

I mean, we had those years at the school gates at primary school and, like you, they were taken to the classroom and successfully encouraged over the threshold through lots of protest and upset. And we had that for years, not months, and it was unpleasant but not something that amounts to much.

That is not what EBSA looks like with my secondary school child. I have three DC. Two who manoeuvred through their school years without cracking a sweat and achieving high grades and awards throughout. And then I have my youngest, who has hit the wall with stress and anxiety, who I can mostly still get into school but who is being decimated by it.

And it's hard to know what to do for the best. There comes a point, regularly, where it is nothing but a complete leap of faith that I am not harming my dc, who I adore, and that there is room for hope that this might get better.

The idea that this would be easy for you, that you would map another route with the same child more successfully, because you preserved with a stubborn infant at the door for a few months, doesn't sound convincing to me.

This is definitely and quite obviously not the explanation for proper entrenched cases of EBSA, which generally has nothing to do with "learning obedience", but I enjoy your confident ignorance about what it entails.

Exactly.

I have a number of ebsa students who I visit. There's no one size fits all.

One day I saw a boy who struggled through primary, managed and masked through secondary then was crippled with anxiety going into year 11. He would love to be back at school with his mates but he just can't get over the anxiety.
Another day I saw a girl whose attendance is at 25%. She would love to come in more but again, her anxiety is crippling.
Then there was the boy who was looking forward to secondary but struggled with the tie and blazer due to his extreme sensory sensitivity. He never made it in. By the time the school agreed to reasonable adjustments with the uniform it was too late and he had missed too much to manage to get through the door.

To those posters giving glib responses about just making them go in all I can say is you have clearly not seen a child crippled with anxiety and your lack of understanding and compassion is disgusting..
And as for those laying all the blame on the parents, it must be nice to be so perfect and have such perfect children.

No, no conflict in our home?

Why would there be conflict?

My children are very happy and secure - I think they actually feel more secure
Because they know who is in charge, know where the boundaries are and what's allowed.
We have strict limits on screens and the kids know there is no point arguing about stuff like this.

It's exactly this. Parents often have children with different temperaments and when the 'easy' child comes first who is naturally inclined to be more obedient and isn't challenging, when a more difficult child comes along the parents don't adapt their parenting in recognition this child requires firmer boundaries etc. Then they'll say well it isn't our parenting as child no.1 is fine!!

Agree. I wish people would stop parroting on about “resilience”. Its become a lazy cover story for judgement of other parents without facts.

I know two families whose kids are EBSA. Its absolutely horrific and no one in their right mind would want this to happen to their child. It’s complex and extremely distressing and debilitating.

”Resilence” isn’t achieved by channeling some ersatz idea of a 1970s childhood.

You have to ask yourself though, why are all these kids so anxious? I am not buying that schools have changed, my kids schools are terrifically similar to my 90s primary & comp.

There's too much hover parenting. Too many kids who aren't taking age appropriate risks like calling for friends unsupervised, climbing trees, walking to the local shop by themselves on an errand.

Anxiety isn't just inherent. A huge element is environmental amd children react strongly to their parents behaviours and reactions.

We have to stop pretending that the way we parent isn't a huge factor in how our children turn out, when decades of research show it does have an impact. People just don't like the feeling of responsibility, the nagging doubt that they could have done something differently and the outcome might have been better. It does mean anyone is blaming parents, we know everyone is doing their best, but the more we can acknowledge what might have made a difference, the more we can improve things going forward.

It is not. "Firmer boundaries" aren't going to solve something like extreme sensory sensitivity. In fact, they could make it much worse. As has been pointed out above, one size doesn't fit all but these problems are generally much more complex than that. I'm pleased to report at least that almost none of the professionals supporting us have ever suggested "firmer boundaries" or anything simplistic like that as they recognise the complexity of the situation.

I also think WFH is a factor in some cases as children know there’s someone at home and it’s hard to then get them to school. Easier in those situations before WFH when everyone was leaving the house in the morning as that was the ‘norm’.

And by contrast I know a couple of families struggling with EBSA too and in both scenarios professionals have told the parents they need to be reducing screen time and in both scenarios the parents won't do it because 'it would upset them too much'. Several years into 'recovering from burnout' now and zero progress has been made at all, all that time out of education hasn't helped the young people at all, neither are engaging with any education (turns out it wasn't the school environment stopping them learning - they don't want to learn at home either, when conditions are exactly as they want) and if anything they seem much more anxious not less. Being at home and not in education seems to have made everything much much worse and there is no sign of things getting any better.

No not all cases of EBSA are about parenting but absolutely some are!!

Thank you for this.

This doesn't tell us anything really.

I'm sure everyone involved probably agrees that being in education would be better - but then the educational environment would have to suitable be accessible.

I doubt the professionals are suggesting that reducing screen time would resolve the problem, only that it's one part of a whole system change towards better functioning. Given that screen time represents a challenge for many individuals and families, even those functioning well in society, I'm sympathetic to how challenging it can be to reduce screen time for children with additional needs and vulnerabilities. To reduce screen time, there have to be things to replace it with but that's very difficult for children who can't even attend school and who may have issues like dyslexia, dyspraxia, autism, sensory issues who therefore have additional barriers to activities many take for granted like reading, sports, socialising, imaginative play, or even wearing clothes. It's very hard because screens represent a lifeline for these children, at the same time as they can have addictive properties. Meanwhile families are trying to manage this screen issue often with insufficient specialised support to tackle the other areas as well as keeping other children, jobs and homes afloat. It's not a case of just going cold turkey and standing firm. So you really have no idea honestly.

Some could be parenting or other issues at home - but we’ve scrapped Sure Start & other services that help parents. This is though only one potential cause (not the cure-all that some posters are suggesting) - and it’s also the only one there is consistent action on (fines) yet the problem still exists.

Screens etc could be an issue to - see The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. Again, the government is taking action on this - but only part. They haven’t put pressure on councils to bring traffic under control so children can play outdoors. This is a generational change since my childhood & it doesn’t get the attention it deserves (probably because in general people are very resistant to any measures that restrict driving).

It could be due to being ND or mental health issues - child mental health has delays of several years near me for children to be seen (N.B. I’m not saying ND is the same as mental health issues, but the initial pathways for support might overlap).

It could be due to bullying or other sources of trauma (I have heard that COVID counts as an Adverse Childhood Experience for every child, so that it going to make it more likely that more children are at risk of this). There are plenty of threads on MN about families struggling with bullying.

It could be ill-health (again more children have this following COVID) yet long-COVID isn’t getting the attention it needs.

What all of these issues have in common is that there is no longer early intervention for children - even though we know it’s vital for children. Also, once you fall out of education the pathways to get back into it are limited - especially post-GCSE. Then - certainly judging by some comments on this thread - there’s a lack of knowledge about EBSA & its potential causes. There’s also a lack of political interest - the Government to be fair are thinking about it, but where is the interest from local politicians? My Council has a real issue with EHCPs not being issued on time, yet I’ve not noticed it being mentioned by any election candidates (although a few are very opposed to any measures restricting driving, which is probably against children’s interests).

If we want to solve EBSA, it needs early intervention & schools and families need support. That will cost money. If that money is not spent, then there’s a very heavy cost to those children and their families (& everyone else pays too via the benefit system).

@Leavelingeringbreath

No not all cases of EBSA are about parenting but absolutely some are!!

I’m sure. Just as some home educated children have families who are dossers while others have a top notch education. There are bound to be some parents who indulge it.

But poor parenting and lack of “resilience” alone can’t explain why it’s such a huge problem now.

I don’t claim to know what the answer is and I’m sure its complex and multi factorial but I know it can’t all be waved away by saying “parent your children” or “just make them go in”.

Too much testing too early on and too much pointless authoritarian bullshit about uniform and talking.

Add to that developmental stunting from COVID. I really don't think people were "just more resilient" in the past. People who were getting whacked at school in the seventies don't tend to have outstanding distress tolerance either.

Another factor is, I think, that succeeding educationally is mostly about diligence and developing a high tolerance for boredom so that you can revise enough to do well in exams. Through no fault of their own, today's kids have grown up with iPads and short form content that makes it very difficult to establish a good level of boredom tolerance.

We have more kids with Autism/ADHD coming through, for whatever reason, be it genetic or environmental.

The classes are bigger, brighter, more colourful and more noisy.. its an environment that NT kids THRIVE in.. but the sensory 'noise' is harder to deal with for kids with autism/adhd.

We provide things for them, like ear defenders and fidget toys.. then the NT kids make a fad out of fidgets and they get banned.

Then you add in the bullying, the access to social media, the messaging apps where 9/10+yo's are bullying each other, and especially the kids who're a bit different... and people are surprised these kids don't want to be there in this overloading, overwhelming environment?

The current school environment doesn't work, the style of teaching doesn't work. Something needs to change.

I don’t know how much devices come into it but I certainly think that getting very high grades requires a certain type of very precise and rather submissive intelligence of which a large portion is the ability to follow rules and overcome your own inherent scepticism.

Children who question authority tend to really bridle at this and rebel. Not only those with neurodiversity challenges but many who aren’t “wired” to just accept that they have to endlessly absorb information and sit tests etc. This long predates the current issues with schools.

I was a child like this, moderately intelligent and no neurodiversity that I know of but I found this excruciating and rebelled. I found the curbs imposed on my own interests and the arbitrary rules impossible to get past.

This isn’t a reason to normalise dropping out of school and obviously schools have to standardise teaching and discipline but I do think that for a long time school has failed children who for whatever reason are unable to fit themselves into the exam machine template.

I'm not sure it is more common, people just weren't as bothered before. I missed a lot of school, I had a lot of friends who weren't going to school. My DH didn't finish secondary school. There was never any support to try and get us back, I'm guessing schools weren't scored on attendance back then so it didn't matter to them if pupils were off. My parents didn't even know I was truanting, an occasional voicemail would come to the landline whilst they were at work and I'd delete it.

With EBSA are they learning the material at home?

If people just aren't learning at all do they become well adjusted adults later in life? Can they hold down a decent job and look after themselves?