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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is EBSA more common nowadays?

119 replies

HotLikePapaJohns · 21/04/2026 22:59

Why is EBSA more common nowadays?

I have read on other threads that it's always been an issue but I don't remember it as a child. Yes, there was some truancy in secondary but not in primary.

Is it that kids are more able to express their feelings? Or that school has become harder? What can be done about it?

OP posts:
Inthenameoflove · 21/04/2026 23:03

HotLikePapaJohns · 21/04/2026 22:59

Why is EBSA more common nowadays?

I have read on other threads that it's always been an issue but I don't remember it as a child. Yes, there was some truancy in secondary but not in primary.

Is it that kids are more able to express their feelings? Or that school has become harder? What can be done about it?

Primary school is definitely not as playful as when I was at school.

Ramblingaway · 21/04/2026 23:05

It's because back in my day failing to go to school would have resulted in being hit with a slipper or a belt. So you went to school as the better of the options available to you. I'm still dealing with the outcomes of those choices now.

HotLikePapaJohns · 21/04/2026 23:12

Inthenameoflove · 21/04/2026 23:03

Primary school is definitely not as playful as when I was at school.

Interesting. I feel the opposite. Infant classrooms in my DC school are full of toys, they gave amazing playgrounds, get to do forest school etc. I remember even reception when I went being much more focused on books, writing, drawing.

OP posts:
miniaturepixieonacid · 21/04/2026 23:20

I think it's so many things but I feel a big one is smart phones and social media meaning you don't escape school at the end of the day. You can't walk out of the gates and leave it all behind you for the evening. If you're having a hard time it follows you on your phone. At the same time, smart phones and short snippet, instant access media have reduced attention spans, focus and ability to wait - making the structure of school harder.

Other reasons:

  1. Behaviour in school is worse so it's a harder environment to cope in.
  2. Young people do fewer activities and spend more time alone gaming so socialising and being out of the house ia harder.
  3. More young people have mental health conditions and/or neurodiverse conditions which make school hardervto cope with.
Kirbert2 · 21/04/2026 23:30

There's many complex reasons, I think.

Including but not limited to:

larger class sizes
less special schools
less play at primary school age

It's only going to get worse with changes to EHCP's and expecting even more children who clearly can't cope with mainstream school to attend mainstream.

Catbustotoro · 21/04/2026 23:58

How deeply have you looked into this, or is this just off the top of your head?
Did you know it was first identified in 1932? Although it was called school phobia then.
How accurate do you think your perceptions as a child were/are, particularly when looking back through 20/30/40 years since you were at primary school?
This is an area I work in currently, and i think fundamentally our education system is no longer fit for purpose, and the children experiencing EBSA (who research show are vastly more likely to be neurodivergent, particularly autistic) are like canaries in the coal mine; they're not the only ones to be affected by the educational environment, they're just the first ones to show signs.
It always blows my mind that people don't seem to link the EBSA growth with the teacher retention crisis... education currently, particularly in secondary schools, isn't really working for anyone!
I think the increase in visible ebsa is largely due to the fact that we listen to our children more closely when they express their distress, and are more likely to do something about it. Which can only be a good thing!

crossedlines · Yesterday 00:13

HotLikePapaJohns · 21/04/2026 23:12

Interesting. I feel the opposite. Infant classrooms in my DC school are full of toys, they gave amazing playgrounds, get to do forest school etc. I remember even reception when I went being much more focused on books, writing, drawing.

I agree with this. As a child at primary school in the 1960-70s there was far more sitting at a table and pen and paper learning. If you wanted a drink of water we had to wait until break and use the drinking fountain in the playground - no water bottle on the table and freely available to drink like now. . Some toys in reception class but not as many or varied as nowadays. Playground equipment also seems more interesting (not to mention safer!) than in the past too

FloorWipes · Yesterday 00:29

No idea about the 60s or 70s but in comparison to the 90s I feel the curriculum in primary school is now much more full and much less flexible. Also lots of other things about the environment are stricter - even the fact that the space is much more controlled such that parents can't freely enter like they would have. We were bringing toys and all sorts in our school bags and this all seems to be banned now. It's just very very different. The number of toys in the classroom seems similar probably. The amount of homework now is insane to me. I didn't do regular homework at that age.

Lougle · Yesterday 00:35

HotLikePapaJohns · 21/04/2026 22:59

Why is EBSA more common nowadays?

I have read on other threads that it's always been an issue but I don't remember it as a child. Yes, there was some truancy in secondary but not in primary.

Is it that kids are more able to express their feelings? Or that school has become harder? What can be done about it?

I vividly remember being at my Nan's house because I had refused to go to school when I was 7 (1980s). The head teacher phoned and said that he needed me to come and see him because he had a pen for me. I was taken to school and he presented me with a green fibre tip pen.

I'm now diagnosed with both ASD and ADHD, but back then they just said I had 'low self-esteem'.

oviraptor21 · Yesterday 00:37

miniaturepixieonacid · 21/04/2026 23:20

I think it's so many things but I feel a big one is smart phones and social media meaning you don't escape school at the end of the day. You can't walk out of the gates and leave it all behind you for the evening. If you're having a hard time it follows you on your phone. At the same time, smart phones and short snippet, instant access media have reduced attention spans, focus and ability to wait - making the structure of school harder.

Other reasons:

  1. Behaviour in school is worse so it's a harder environment to cope in.
  2. Young people do fewer activities and spend more time alone gaming so socialising and being out of the house ia harder.
  3. More young people have mental health conditions and/or neurodiverse conditions which make school hardervto cope with.

This.
And

  1. For girls there is much more pressure to behave and look a certain way and therefore more reluctance to go in if everything isn't perfect.
  2. Parents are much more accepting of children being off school or less able to encourage their children in because being absent from school has become normalised.
  3. Boys (mostly) are addicted to games so make up reasons for not being able to go in.
  4. School is tougher and more boring with endless exams and coursework.
sum12luv · Yesterday 06:37

I went to school in the 60s and 70s. At primary school, there were rumours about 'Mr G.: The 'Kid Catcher;' ' who would come to see you if you did not attend school. I do not think there were any 'EBSA' cases at my primary school, but there were only about twenty children in the whole school and two classes: infants and juniors, furthermore, it was a small village and families knew each other. Indeed, both my parents had attended the same, small village school that I attended, many years before.

At secondary school, pupils talked of other pupils 'skiving' or 'jigging' school. It seemed to be almost expected that some pupils would 'truant'. I went into an adolescent unit in my mid-teens, and there were many children/young people there who were experiencing 'school phobia'. Many adolescent boys who obviously had eating disorders were in the unit with 'school phobia' as their primary diagnosis because there was little understanding about eating disorders in males, so their 'school phobia' could in fact have arisen form issues relating to anorexia or bulimia. My husband also stopped attending school regularly just after his father dies, when my husband was 14, his poor attendance was put down to grief.

Both my sons became unable to attend school in their mid-teens. They are neurodivergent. My eldest had one to one support and an EHCP, but his mental health broke. My youngest was not diagnosed and he was unable to attend due to Generalised Anxiety Disorder. The effects on the family were tremendous.

So, based on my experience and contact with other parents, I would say that EBSA has always been present. However, EBSA is also a behaviour with other, often complex issues at its root. These could be a mixture of social/familial problems; neurodiversity (not always a 'problem', but schools are not always a great place for neurodivergent children); mental illness and many other issues.

I could go on, but i have already written a short novel.

politicsdomyheadin · Yesterday 06:37

It’s poor parenting.

sum12luv · Yesterday 06:38

Please excuse the terrible typos

sum12luv · Yesterday 06:38

It is NOT poor parenting in all cases.

politicsdomyheadin · Yesterday 06:39

sum12luv · Yesterday 06:38

It is NOT poor parenting in all cases.

I can guarantee that in 99% of them it is. It’s the same as the rise in all these diagnoses, it’s people seeking out excuses to not parent. I’ll stand by it 🤷🏻‍♀️

ToffeeCrabApple · Yesterday 06:41

Parents have changed.

My kids school is extremely similar to the one I attended. If anything its more fun - the pe & music are much more varied, there are more toys/games available and the teachers are expected to make lessons "engaging".

But when I was a kid I wouldn't have dreamed of refusing to go to school. I knew it was pointless and "not allowed". I had a clear sense that my parents were in charge & I must do as I was told. There was no dwelling on how you felt about it!

Whereas I have friends with kids with ebsa who have barely resisted their child being off, who are totally unrealistic and unreasonable about what they should expect from state funded education.

Upstartled · Yesterday 06:47

I think some of it is more visible because of the data gathering we have now. I'm pretty sure the only reason we had a register when I was at school was to make sure everyone got out in case of a fire. Any absence was excused by a quick note after the fact. There wasn't the obsession with attendance rates, letters home, daily phone calls for the attendance office and a potential visit from a pastoral team.

It probably meant that kids at-risk fell through the gaps but kids who struggled at school were able to manage dipping in and out without the full weight of the school panopticon.

legy · Yesterday 06:48

I truly hated school but didn't really have a choice I had to go. Now it seems that children do feel they have a choice. I know parents who say they can't force their 8 or 12 year old to go to school if they refuse. They say their anxiety is too bad to go. I don't know. I suspect it is probably harder in lots of ways now.

I also recall my nephew 7 who has behavioural issues whacking his mum, at by his dad trying to subdue him and he said to his parents "what are you going to do about it, you can't touch me". He's only 7, Kids know too much these days. My parents never laid a finger on me and were brilliant but I was still low key terrified of them or more so terrified of disappointing them. That seems to be gone now.

ComtesseDeSpair · Yesterday 06:52

Staying at home rather than going to school wasn’t very appealing because there was fuck all to do! In our house the TV had four channels, there was one household PC with dial-up internet which cost too much too use during daytime hours, my mobile was a Nokia dumb phone which I had to buy credit for in order to text anyone at 10p per message. No filling the day with online gaming, social media, Netflix, messing around on your phone. It was preferable to go to school and see friends.

BollyMolly · Yesterday 06:53

Parents thought they could get away with allowing their children the odd day off school here and there and with justifying term time holidays. They sent the message to their children that school was optional and then wondered why their children treated school as optional.

Upstartled · Yesterday 06:55

ComtesseDeSpair · Yesterday 06:52

Staying at home rather than going to school wasn’t very appealing because there was fuck all to do! In our house the TV had four channels, there was one household PC with dial-up internet which cost too much too use during daytime hours, my mobile was a Nokia dumb phone which I had to buy credit for in order to text anyone at 10p per message. No filling the day with online gaming, social media, Netflix, messing around on your phone. It was preferable to go to school and see friends.

I was a sickly kid and had to spend more time away from school than I would have liked. Being stuck with Sons and Daughters, Take the High Road and Oprah Winfrey was no joke.

Pixiedust49 · Yesterday 06:56

HotLikePapaJohns · 21/04/2026 23:12

Interesting. I feel the opposite. Infant classrooms in my DC school are full of toys, they gave amazing playgrounds, get to do forest school etc. I remember even reception when I went being much more focused on books, writing, drawing.

I totally agree with this. Plus there were no well being spaces, no emotional support, no transition help like there is now. In my small primary school in the late 80s there weren’t even any staff out at playtime we were just left to get on with it. A small concrete patch! Schools are so much better than they were back then.

Soontobe60 · Yesterday 06:56

Kirbert2 · 21/04/2026 23:30

There's many complex reasons, I think.

Including but not limited to:

larger class sizes
less special schools
less play at primary school age

It's only going to get worse with changes to EHCP's and expecting even more children who clearly can't cope with mainstream school to attend mainstream.

This isn’t true though. Having taught for 36 years, class sizes are not bigger, children spend lots of time learning through play and exploration, the curriculum is far more interesting and there are far more SEN schools.
The overwhelming majority of children enjoy school.

RhaenysRocks · Yesterday 07:04

How about some of you go and look (bit for the love of god) dont comment on tje EBSA support threads. Full of desperate parents, some of them teachers who highly value education, who are utterly broken by this. For those saying 'make home less appealing'..think about that....you want to make a child who is so affected by one place that they freeze, shake, cry, sob when told to go there and make their home space cold, stark, miserable and loveless to try and force them? Right.

We are not talking about kids hanging around a park or shopping mall with mates or having a fine old time with toys or x box while parents don't give a shit. We are talking about kids who just want to be 'normal', see their friends, play games, actually learn. My dd was incredibly bored and lonely in the thankfully short time she suffered with it..she was desperate to go to school but physically could not make herself (secondary age). Those who think its old fashioned 'truancy' please for the love of God, educate yourselves.

politicsdomyheadin · Yesterday 07:06

RhaenysRocks · Yesterday 07:04

How about some of you go and look (bit for the love of god) dont comment on tje EBSA support threads. Full of desperate parents, some of them teachers who highly value education, who are utterly broken by this. For those saying 'make home less appealing'..think about that....you want to make a child who is so affected by one place that they freeze, shake, cry, sob when told to go there and make their home space cold, stark, miserable and loveless to try and force them? Right.

We are not talking about kids hanging around a park or shopping mall with mates or having a fine old time with toys or x box while parents don't give a shit. We are talking about kids who just want to be 'normal', see their friends, play games, actually learn. My dd was incredibly bored and lonely in the thankfully short time she suffered with it..she was desperate to go to school but physically could not make herself (secondary age). Those who think its old fashioned 'truancy' please for the love of God, educate yourselves.

The thing is, when I was at school I probably could’ve been one of the EBSA kids or whatever you want to call it. I was bullied horrifically and hated school everyday. But if I say there crying saying I didn’t want to go in, my parents would just say “that’s a shame, see you tonight” and put me in the car or on the bus. I was deathly afraid to skip, so I would go into school. It benefitted me in the long run.