To ask for advice on an employment issue

[Vinividivici]

I am currently on sick leave, as is described in another thread. The cause of this is work stress. I am fearful that my employer may take retaliatory action if / when I eventually have to return. Would it be reasonable / strategically wise to send a list of grievances (basically a description of what led to this)?

I'm not sure whether there's anything that would matter to an employment tribunal. My issues are:

• documented historical bullying which seemingly was not addressed at the time.
• my job title is far, far too low for my skills, abilities, and portfolio of work. I was on the verge of promotion two years ago when suddenly the global policy was changed to exclude the option of promotion. Since then, I have been given work that is two levels above my official pay grade and expected to get on with it without any support. My job title means that people treat me as if I have little value and I don't have authorisation to do things I need to do in order to be effective. I am humiliated every day. I have raised this with management several times.
• my new portfolio of work was previously owned by my bully. It was handed to me without any support or guidance, other than having to ask my bully for help
• my manager refuses to have 1:1s and I have to arrange ad hoc meetings for anything I want to discuss. When we meet to discuss work projects, this is a clear imposition and I am treated as if I am stupid or annoying. Typically my manager has not read my updates in detail. Occasionally my manager has held specific pieces of the work hostage for a couple of weeks (eventually doing nothing and finally allowing me to take it over again), causing big delays.
• as a result of the above, I feel constantly insecure about the work and whether i will be blamed if something goes wrong due to my manager's lack of communication and occasionally chaotic approach.
• recently I took time off to get married. When I tried to get cover in place 3-4 weeks beforehand, I was told in an annoyed way that this was too early. When I finally was told who could cover, there were only a few day s left before my wedding. A very senior person who had to cover some of my work was hostile and angry.

When I faced the prospect of going back, I spent several days in a state of severe depression. I could not face it.

It seems to me that none of this is discrimination or illegal. Is there any point writing this all out and sending it to HR and my manager?

Just to echo the advice of others that you aren’t going to be able to change the culture where you are and you can make the positive decision to leave. I was half heartedly looking to leave my previous post for very similar reasons. I had recognised it was a toxic culture and it wasn’t just me that was being denied promotions and the good work. I still thought that if I worked hard enough they would finally see my value. Thankfully, they gave me a nice payout to be on my way and I got another job right away - and probably not one I would have gone looking for either. Writing my CV and having the freedom(?) to explore potentially different paths was liberating and I rebuilt the self esteem that had been ground out of me for five years.

Thank you. A friend is urging me to pivot to other roles that take advantage of my project and stakeholder management skills. Maybe I should!

You need to do that as a matter of urgency

I definitely want to quit my job - but I meant pivoting out of law rather than changing roles.

So much you can do with a background in law, research, headhunting etc

Is your CV done yet? How many jobs have you applied for?

I don't know how to explain this. I am really, really exhausted and not faking with the sick leave. I have applied to one job so far and my CV for that probably isn't generally applicable.

Currently listening to "The Anti-Burnout Book" and feeling weepy

I don’t know if you intend it to but this comes across pretty antagonistic and pressurising- OP doesn’t need to do her CV and apply for jobs right now because a stranger told her to.

OP it sounds like you’re in quite a dark place. Have you spoken to your GP at all? It sounds like you could use some help and support.

Yes, my GP signed me off for two weeks.

To be entirely honest, it's currently difficult for me to imagine going back next week. I will probably need to seek an extension of this sick leave. I have only had one therapy session so far and I really think that I need more support to feel more myself again.

So basically you have:

• bullying
• expectations and responsibilities that well exceed your job description to the point of exploitation.
• as a result of point two, your authorisation level is not high enough to enable you to do this extra work without significant input from others, which is inefficient and causing delays.
• failure to approve holiday in a reasonable time frame and hostility from colleagues who had to cover at short notice.

Take the emotion out of this. I realise it's hard but don't go on about titles and humiliation. You'll look ridiculous and be painted as a 'hysterical woman' and won't be listened to.

Keep to the facts. The lack of promotion is hindering you and and you are being paid under the odds for the work you are expected to do.

Thanks. Are you saying that you think this is a reasonable list of issues to raise?

Honestly atm I believe that I need more time off to recover from what seems to be severe burnout, but I am increasingly thinking that I ultimately may need to resign and take some time out of the working world.

Very reasonable. The bullying, you will need hard evidence though. List of times, dates, who said what. I've taken out a grievance over bullying before, which was partially upheld but be aware that you're unlikely to remain in the job if you do. I didn't care, I hated the place and the job. A toxic workplace will break you down slowly. I'd raise the grievance by all means but I'd also be quitting. I don't know how I lasted as long as I did.

I would always, but particularly in a bank, think very hard about the outcome you’re looking for in raising a grievance. People often want their feelings validated, presenting a laundry list of issues, and it is unlikely to happen like that with your type of scenario.

Even if parts are upheld it will make it very difficult to go on there. And stressful to go through as they are very unlikely to agree you are right on it all.

As I mentioned in a previous post it is worth spending a little cash with a good employment lawyer to work the fact through to identify what claims, if any, you may genuinely have and take an assessment from there on how you want to move forward. Even if that is simply resigning and moving on with your life (which I think would be a perfectly sane strategy) then you do so from a position of knowledge informed decision making.

I'm viewing these 'grievances' mostly as negotiation points / points of persuasion - for example, if I decide that I really just want to resign and ask them to allow me not to work my notice. Right now I just don't know how I am feeling or what to do. It is difficult to imagine going back next week, but I feel like such a weak loser and I am concerned about the future career impact of being on sick leave for mental health for an extended period.

My manager has not reached out at all (surprise, surprise). My matrix manager has now checked in twice.

if I decide that I really just want to resign and ask them to allow me not to work my notice. Right now I just don't know how I am feeling or what to do

If that's all you want honestly you dont need a grievance.

You've had the advice already but ask for a "conversation without prejudice".
Bluntly they are unlikely to want you to work your notice anyway.

Honestly you sound like you just need to leave