To ask for advice on an employment issue

[Vinividivici]

I am currently on sick leave, as is described in another thread. The cause of this is work stress. I am fearful that my employer may take retaliatory action if / when I eventually have to return. Would it be reasonable / strategically wise to send a list of grievances (basically a description of what led to this)?

I'm not sure whether there's anything that would matter to an employment tribunal. My issues are:

• documented historical bullying which seemingly was not addressed at the time.
• my job title is far, far too low for my skills, abilities, and portfolio of work. I was on the verge of promotion two years ago when suddenly the global policy was changed to exclude the option of promotion. Since then, I have been given work that is two levels above my official pay grade and expected to get on with it without any support. My job title means that people treat me as if I have little value and I don't have authorisation to do things I need to do in order to be effective. I am humiliated every day. I have raised this with management several times.
• my new portfolio of work was previously owned by my bully. It was handed to me without any support or guidance, other than having to ask my bully for help
• my manager refuses to have 1:1s and I have to arrange ad hoc meetings for anything I want to discuss. When we meet to discuss work projects, this is a clear imposition and I am treated as if I am stupid or annoying. Typically my manager has not read my updates in detail. Occasionally my manager has held specific pieces of the work hostage for a couple of weeks (eventually doing nothing and finally allowing me to take it over again), causing big delays.
• as a result of the above, I feel constantly insecure about the work and whether i will be blamed if something goes wrong due to my manager's lack of communication and occasionally chaotic approach.
• recently I took time off to get married. When I tried to get cover in place 3-4 weeks beforehand, I was told in an annoyed way that this was too early. When I finally was told who could cover, there were only a few day s left before my wedding. A very senior person who had to cover some of my work was hostile and angry.

When I faced the prospect of going back, I spent several days in a state of severe depression. I could not face it.

It seems to me that none of this is discrimination or illegal. Is there any point writing this all out and sending it to HR and my manager?

Then leave,? You won’t force them to promote you. So keep your head down, do your job and apply for others, the longer you’re off sick the harder it will be to find another role,

You are oddly focused on the job title.

is there something unsaid here op, what is your job title and the job you were employed to do.

What stood out on your other thread is how this stress almost ruined your recent wedding. Have I got that right OP?

If so, this should be the tipping point. If you can manage on one salary for the time being, take a career break. If its relatively short it won't ruin your future prospects.

A decade ago, I worked in a hideously toxic environment and the stress affected every part of my life. It's all I could think about. I left, had two months off before starting for a company I'm still with now. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

You sound oddly bothered by your job title being 'humiliating' - does it mean so much to you to have a fancy job title to 'sound' impressive?

I just want a normal job title for my age and experience. I am getting quite old and I am worried about ageism.

Also, people in the organisation treat people with my job title as interiors. I am sick of it. It interferes with my ability to do my job.

Respectfully, no employer will change your job title because of that reason. Job titles don't come under ageism unless they are derogatory in some way (ie calling someone junior a 'girl' ) The way others view the job title is what it is. We often jokingly say at work that we are 'just' the admin, most of us have around 25 - 30 years experience. Again, if you feel that your job title is incorrect then request the regrade, your manager should follow process and either reject the request or send it to HR. Hoe you feel about the title etc doesn't follow that it would be seen as derogatory.

I have told you that others in the org judge based on title. It's very hierarchical and I need to be able to act and speak with authority. You don't have to believe me, but i am telling you this is how it works

I did not say that they would change it for that reason. They won't be changing it at all afaik

Where have I said I don't believe you? I'm saying that they won't change it because you feel that it doesn't reflect the authority you need, therefore you need a formal request for a regrade. Organisations are often very hierarchical (local authorities definitely are) but the employer still won't change the job title if they've decided that the job description fits. I don't get the sense that there's been an official regrade process, happy to be corrected.
What I'm trying to say, badly, is that personal feelings about job titles need to be put to one side if they keep refusing to change it after official process has jeen followed because you're just banging your head against a brick wall.

No one disbelieves this. But you’re missing the point.

to give yoh a more senior job title is a promotion. They have changed processes which mean certain requirements are in placed and they are not willing to promote you.

they can’t just change your job title to a more senior one. It’s a promotion, and they are unwilling to promote you into the more senior role.

you need to stop going on about the job title. The job title is the job. With the pay and job description to go with it. You are not employed in the more senior role. You need to ask whay you need to do to be promoted.

if you feel you’re doing the more senior role. Then speak to hr, and your manager. Explain why you feel you’re doing the more senior role. And either refuse the additional, responsibility or ask how you can move up, what do you need to do ie additional qualifications etc

I worked for someone who sounds like your manager. She had all the people skills of a Tasmanian devil with pmt. She would send me to meetings with no information about what the meeting was for so I couldn't prepare and then tell me off for not contributing anything significant.

She allowed me to speak to her for a prearranged 10 minutes a day. If I tried to approach her at any other time, she would look at her watch and make me wait for 10 minutes and then say, "You're a manager bring me solutions not questions." There were financial rewards for doing well and when she realised my team were outperforming her other teams and getting awards every month she forced me to allocate work the evening before it came in so they weren't allocated the work we actually got in and couldn't hit the targets.

I was off sick with stress and on the advice of ACAS put in a grievance. She had me sacked within 2 days of me returning to work. They paid me compensation when I sued them for unfair dismissal but it didn't make up for the stress she put me through.

I think you should look for another job and get out as soon as possible. this sin;t going to improve.

I know that I am banging my head against a brick wall. Over the last few years, I was led on several times by management but I now realise it will never happen. This has caused me significant anguish.

Try writing an email to HR and before you send it, put it into Chat GPT. Tell Chat GPT that you want the tone to be professional and proactive - you will be amazed how it polishes what you want to say and completely refines the tone! Request a meeting with HR to then discuss this. If nothing then is resolved, I would be looking to leave.

😮

That's awful. Your story is a good reminder why I need to get out.

You need to get out it’s as simple as that. Other people here have given reasons why a case you have probably won’t work. Is it really worth your stress in the meantime? And why are you banging on about your job title? Is it that important in the grand scheme of things really? On the urged hand, you sound as if you do a good job, so sit tight and stay there and see else you can do to get promotion and change of job title.

Other hand…

Really be proactive about getting out, eg recruiters, applications. Consider seeing a career coach if you’d like or need to switch direction.

I am obsessed with job title because I have been undervalued my entire life and I really set myself a goal of doing all I could to change my situation this time. It has been 2.5 years of striving, working, building my profile, and everything else I have been told will get me there.

And it's patently unfair that I am still in the same category as first year lawyers.

It helped that my manager agreed that I should have the higher title, but it was like a kick in the face when i was told in my appraisal that I was being assessed as if I had a promotion and I didn't get a higher grade as a result. Then I didn't get a pay rise. Then I was forced to start coming in 4 days a week even though I was hired on the basis of 1 day a week (not formally documented, unfortunately, as it did not seem important then).

Since that time, a senior person has put me down and been hostile to me in ways that I don't think they would if I had more seniority. It's too much for my self respect and dignity.

Edit: the result is that I feel very used and undervalued, and I have lost all trust in the company and pride in what I do.

So just resign then. You're doing it all the wrong way round. You should have raised these grievances before you went off sick. You should have started looking for new jobs before it got to this stage. Cut your losses. Resign now. Forget about this company. Apply for new jobs. You are doing yourself zero good by continually looking backwards. You will make yourself ill and your self esteem worse if you continually focus on the past. You can't change your part but you can change your future.

And what I was looking for was strategic advice whether I should email HR regarding the issues which have created a hostile environment. I never said that I plan to go to tribunal and I actively don't want to.

Anyway, point is that as you say, almost no one appears to see any value in such an email. Though I imagine that I will have to discuss a return with them at some point, and I had thought that this type of heads up may be valuable. (I think one poster did say this as well)

I literally did not have time to apply for jobs.

My current concern is having an employment gap in this terrible job market.

And my sick leave was not strategically planned. I was trying to get through to my leave. Then I cried for several days when it was time to return to work, which essentially meant I could not do it.

This just gets worse and worse.

You need to leave.

You are making excuses - you’re worried about finding a job because of ageism? That’s silly. I know lots of “returners” and women and men who have fancied a career change and done well in their 40s. I even know someone who became a GP quite late in their career! You just need to write that cv and contact some recruitment agents - explain without moaning that you have bags of skills and experience but sadly due to a lack of promotion opportunities your progression has become blocked and you can’t wait any longer for your employer to sort out your next move.

Meantime: Go back to work with your big girl pants on. Be brilliant, make them REALLY miss you when you are gone. Enjoy the moment when you get to hand in your notice.

@NobodysChildNow I feel that it's too late to ever wow them now that I have gone sick. It's failure upon failure.

I know that this sounds very negative, but this entire experience has absolutely crushed me. I was counting on the promotion to prove that I haven't been an impostor all these years

How much of the appraisal process has been documented and evidenced? Take your focus away from the job title problem and focus on what has actually happened and can be evidenced as happening. The other stuff is feelings, which won't do or change anything. Our appraisals have to be fully documented and signed off by the manager and employee as a true account of the appraisal conversation. That's where I would be concentrating your efforts, if they've assessed you incorrectly or withheld a pay rise then that can be challenged, as long as it wasn't 2 1/2 years ago. The hiring for 1 day a week and then forcing you to do 4, I don't understand, do you mean your contract says you are employed for 7 hours a week or do you mean you were given a hybrid role and then told to be in office rather than working from home? That's a contract issue and again one you can use concrete fact for.

Not being rude but I find you very hard work. In your responses to me. I’m not surprised you’re having issues there tbh.

Two key things to remember
1)HR is not your friend- sending them a list of grievances may backfire
2) a bad manager is a career killer - can destroy years of progress regardless of your performance

cut your losses and find another job. Keep your head down whilst you do.

Promotions don't prove anything. I've just left a role after 10 years as it became evident that my progression was being blocked. So, I looked at other roles, interviewed for a secondment and aced the interview. It's not a promotion, it's a sideways move away from something that was becoming toxic and in danger of dragging me down. That's what you need to do, work on your CV, apply for other jobs, pull your self esteem up any way you can and look forwards rather than focusing on what wrong may or may not have been done. The reason I've said about not bothering with HR is they can't do anything about your current situation and it's just going to suck you further into the negativity.