To tell my friend to shut her mouth

[WhatALiberty8]

I have a friend of around 6 years, we meet up once every couple of months. Sometimes just the two of us, mainly as a foursome by including our husbands. We either go to a restaurant, or we’ll take it in turns to cook and host.
I have no clue why but the last few times she has started talking with her mouth full of food. Not just a little bit either, literally stuffed full and spilling back out with every word.
I noticed the last time that her husband looked embarrassed by it. My husband thinks I should ignore it and get over myself. I’ll admit I can be annoying with how irritated peoples table habits (mainly DH) make me.. Think normal food noises/cutlery scraping noises, I’ve always hated this. But surely everybody finds talking with your mouth full grim. I’m genuinely concerned about going out again incase I throw up on her!
I think it’s reasonable to pull her aside and say… What the hell, you need to stop talking with your mouth full. What do you think, would you say anything?

Meet up places that don't revolve around food?

Wonder in return what she says about you?

That’s what we do, play board games/get a Chinese, bbqs in the summer, that sort of thing.

Change it. Avoid food with her.

I think its her husband's job to say this. Are you sure she hasn't always done this and you have only just noticed?

I don’t think so, I think I would have noticed.

How old is she?

Not eating with mouth open, but a general loss of table manners showed up in the early stages of my DF's dementia.

39

My mum does this so I make a show of not answering her if she asked me something and I have a mouth full of food. Try this she might get the hint! Gross though

You ignore it. The only people you can ever correct are your own children.

^ excellent idea.

Do you have a child? You need to take them along, primed beforehand to be your willing stooge for a fiver. They talk with their mouth full and let you give them a stern telling off about how disgusting it is to talk with one's mouth full. Then everyone does subtle-not-subtle slow looks over at DFriend.

Yes it’s gross but you can’t police the manners of another adult without looking like a twat.

Either don’t go out to eat with her or withdraw from the friendship.

It’s really not her husband’s job.

All the passive aggressive suggestions like taking a kid along are just embarrassing.

Be a grown up and understand that she can eat how she likes but you are not unreasonable not to go for meals with her.

Don't do this OP.

Are you serious?
Totally passive aggressive and despicable to involve a child. 🤦‍♀️

And ironically rather childish!

I am gobby and DGAF anymore.

"Alright Sue, we all had a chinese, I dont need to see yours again when its in your mouth!" or "Its ok Sue, I can wait until you have swallowed to hear about little Johnny's star of the week award!"

I mean... I thought it was a pretty obvious joke but ok. 😅

It’s very odd that she should have started doing this now when she didn’t previously. My mum started doing this in old age having had impeccable table manners previously but if your friend is only 39 then you’d hope it can’t be dementia.

Is this the only change in her behaviour?

I would try to first make a couple of lighthearted (ish) comments to hope she catches on without embarrassment.

Your'e still chewing Sarah, I didn't catch a word of that! [fake chuckle]

Nope, didn't hear a word Sarah, your mouth is full again! Haha...

Does she hate silence?
Do you eat in silence? (With conversation in between chewing).
I wonder if she usually eats with the radio or TV on and she’s trying to fill what she perceives as an awkward silence while you’re all eating.
I couldn’t cope with dining with somebody like your friend, my head would pop. I wouldn’t say anything but I would have to stop having meals with her.

I have a friend (absolutely lovely women with heart of gold) who sucked each of her fingers in turn, whilst eating. It was grim, like an animal. I had to ask her to stop. I think she was a bit put out, but she did stop. I just couldn't.

I don’t think I would bring it up so bluntly, but I’d say things like, ‘Oops, a baked bean is on it’s way out, Jane’ and/or ‘I know you’re eager to talk but you’re going to end up spitting your food everywhere if you carry on. What are you like? 😂’

Repeat similar things ad infinitum until she gets the message. That’s assuming there’s nothing else going on. I’d look out for other strange behaviour if this is a new thing.

This maybe is too passive aggressive but could you bring up table manners in general?

Tell them about what your parents taught you in a kind of anecdotal, jokey way. Then mention about being taught to not eat with your mouth full of food. Say something like, "It is really revolting when you see this, isn't it?!"

Hopefully she will get the message. Failing that, don't eat with them anymore.

And she didn’t used to do this?
when she next does it can you make a joke and say did you just spot your food at me talking with your mouth full and exaggerate a sick sound!