To tell my friend to shut her mouth

[WhatALiberty8]

I have a friend of around 6 years, we meet up once every couple of months. Sometimes just the two of us, mainly as a foursome by including our husbands. We either go to a restaurant, or we’ll take it in turns to cook and host.
I have no clue why but the last few times she has started talking with her mouth full of food. Not just a little bit either, literally stuffed full and spilling back out with every word.
I noticed the last time that her husband looked embarrassed by it. My husband thinks I should ignore it and get over myself. I’ll admit I can be annoying with how irritated peoples table habits (mainly DH) make me.. Think normal food noises/cutlery scraping noises, I’ve always hated this. But surely everybody finds talking with your mouth full grim. I’m genuinely concerned about going out again incase I throw up on her!
I think it’s reasonable to pull her aside and say… What the hell, you need to stop talking with your mouth full. What do you think, would you say anything?

I wouldn’t ge able to bear that either! Total ick

Ok hear me out, could she had have Botox recently? I had a lip flip last month and it essentially numbed my top lip and make it really hard to suck on straws, pout my lips and also affected eating to a degree although I will say I was very conscious of it so clamped my mouth tightly shut while eating. It's usually only temporary for a couple of weeks

When she asks you something make a point of finishing your mouthful, swallow then say sorry I had food in my mouth, couldn't answer, I prefer the earlier works of bananarama myself (insert actual response not just your feelings about bananarama)

Next time say "it's OK Sharon, finish your mouthful first and then tell me. I can wait"

Dont do this.

Stick with "I actually prefer the early work of Bananarama" as that just really made me laugh, and might make her swallow out of sheer confusion!

I think I’m going to have to.. My husband is telling me this is really rude though and I should just try not to look and ignore it.

Well she’s not going to be your friend going forward if you speak up so it’s up to you

But given that its utterly revolting to the OP, she isnt going to be her friend much longer if she doesnt say anything is she?

I very much doubt that the OP is the only person who she does this with or the only person who is revolted by it, so I would see it as a bit of tough love and doing her a favour in the long run.

I don’t think there is a physical reason, it’s weird that it’s new though, she definitely hasn’t always done it.
The only thing I can think of is she has recently reconnected with family abroad and recently spent a couple of months with them in her home country, maybe her family eat like that and she has now picked up the habit?

Also am I being over the top, could most people sit at a dinner table with someone eating this way and not be bothered?
My husband can, it genuinely makes me feel sick.

That could be it.

Where did she go?

If you have an Audible account listen to French and Saunders Titting About podcast. All of it is utterly glorious but in S6 there is an episode called Manners that references this very thing!

@PyongyangKipperbang
Prague.

I couldn’t. I’d be fuming and have to keep going out to the loo or something. Can’t bear it

ooh dont know then. From a wee bit of Googling it seems to mention places like China, Korea, Japan.

Could be her family in particular. Does seem to be too much of a coincidence, and her husband has clearly noticed too.

Yeah I don’t think it’s a Prague thing.. I’ve been myself and definitely would have noticed. I was thinking a habit in her family’s household.

Botox? Alcoholism?

New medication?

In which case why can’t the OP just disengage without humiliating her? If someone wants to pick her up on it, let them.

Are you close enough to her husband to talk to him about it OP? You think he’s noticed? You could ask him if she’s been feeling well recently. Say you ve noticed some jaw control issues in his wife (or some such wording). The strangest thing about this is that it’s a new behaviour. I wonder if there is something dental or even neurological going on.

I think it’s better to just say something to her directly. It could be a dental thing but after the meal the other night she spent a few hours in my front room chatting and drinking wine.. It’s the sort of thing she’d normally tell me.

If you’re friends, why can’t you raise this? What’s the point in being friends if you can’t say even basic things like this…

If I were doing it I’d 100% want somebody to tell me.

no you're not close enough to have this discussion.

just stop spending time with them where good is involved. It's not easy in our society I know, you have to put a bit of effort in!

I would do normally, it’s my husband who is telling me it’s not okay to do so and I should just not look, he thinks it’s really rude to point it out.