What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

[shehardlysleeps]

I’m in a reflective mood, and it’s got me thinking about something I did a few years ago which is probably the thing I’m most deeply ashamed of.

There was a coworker who really rubbed me up the wrong way. I was very unhappy at the time, and going through an awful time personally. She would make snide comments about me, do things with my family members (who were colleagues too) which really got my back up, I felt like she judged me harshly and was pretty rude. Along with another colleague they made three or four very nasty comments which still stick with me.

Instead of raising a grievance, which I should have done, I took to posting about her on another website (along the lines of Mumsnet), not realising she used it too. She saw the posts and reported me, and I ended up facing a meeting with HR and a senior partner of the firm I was working in. It damaged my reputation within the firm forever and I ended up leaving after not being offered a promotion. I still feel ashamed of it now, nearly half a decade on, and feel like it’s tarred me forever.

Whats the worst thing you’ve ever done?

I've lied, cheated, stolen, and was an absolute prick right up to my 30s. I had a pretty horrific childhood so most of it was down to that. I'm nice now though and am very understanding of other people's faults.

When me and DH first got together many years ago, we were really short of money (still are tbh 🙈 but would never do it now as we have obviously grown up and are responsible parents with decent morals!) and used to steal the more expensive items such as salmon from the supermarket during our weekly grocery shop by doubling up bags for life and slipping the items down the sides inbetween the bags.We did it for about a year when we first got together then i moved into a more professional job and was paranoid about getting caught and losing my job, plus just felt more wrong as i was supposed to be in a responsible role, so told DH we needed to stop.

Also, killing my guinea pig when I was eight (accidentally!) by playing with it too roughly (it landed on the ground and died instantly.....still feel guilty 30 yrs on!)

Had a boyfriend when I was in my teens and he treated me very badly and then went back to his ex.
He had left some clothes at my house including his favourite waistcoat (it was the 1990s) so one night I set fire to them in the garden, threw water on them so they were toasted but could still be discernible as his clothes and then I marched up to his house under cloak of darkness and hurled them on his front garden.
This isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever done but I dare not write the other in case it is outing!

Reminds me of my own actions…. a few years ago driving with some friends there was a mahoosive UKIP poster on a board in a field just by the road. We stopped, removed the poster and took it away to destroy!
Friends were all pissed as farts but I was the desi, so was stone cold sober and had no excuse (other than, ya know, UKIP)

Not the worst thing I’ve done though.

I was dancing with a man in a nightclub, near the end of the night where it's a slow dance, (& we were both drunk) I had my head rested on his shoulder, we were almost the same height with my heels on.

This really good looking, taller man started making eyes at me behind man 1s back, we had a few quiet giggles & he was touching my hand (that was draped round man 1s neck)

Man 2 then leans in for a snog, I go on my tiptoes & start snogging him over man 1s shoulder!!

Man 1 soon realised, kind of just removed his arms from me & walked off & man 2 wrapped me up in his arms instead & we carried on snogging.

I justified this to myself for years because man 1 still contacted me after & we had a date, I apologized & he was fine with it.

Now though, I'm MORTIFIED by my behaviour, & can't believe that I did it!!!

As a young child probably about 9/10 years old, a friend I used to play with led me to the car park of a sports centre, she decided to try door handles of cars and when one opened she just kind of threw all the persons stuff around and there was a book on the back seat and she ripped all the pages up.. absolutely no idea why and I felt awful and so guilty about it as even though I did not actually do it I was there with her and did not stop her. I would have equally been in trouble if caught. Always knew there was a reason my mum didn’t like me playing with her.
Into teens and early twenties, was all about drinking and clubbing and looking for sex, totally sex obsessed and seemed the only thing that mattered! Had a fake ID at 16 and would pull people loads older telling them I was 18/19! It’s tapered off now but definitely drove me to some bad decisions and not treating people too well.. was young and those were just fleeting relationships in my eyes. Do not regret it though, had some great times and it’s part of growing up and learning.
I guess having no phones or SM helped as nothing recorded!
feel bad for youngsters these days. Every encounter will be recorded or posted about? Maybe that’s why this young generation are more reserved than we were!

lol

You have to forgive yourself @DreamyScroller I had a really horrid childhood and it left me with a lot of trauma and mental health issues.
I got hurt easily as I put my faith in men and believed what they said as I was vulnerable. When I hit my 20s I became vile and bitter and broke several Ten Commandments as I was so angry and full of sadness. I took it out on other people when in reality I was hurting my support network. I was out of control but I’ve genuinely tried to make up for it and be a better person.
You’ve certainly done this too, you’ve made amends and are now a different person. It’s time to be kind to yourself otherwise the regret eats you up inside.
Sending you flowers 🌺

You say it’s the worst thing you’ve done,
May I ask:
Was he married ?
Was you married ?
How long did it last ?
Was it the worst thing because you feel regret and remorse over hurt it caused or because of reputation etc at work or something else ???
My husband had an affair. I’d be interested to know perspective.

@Elanol Genius

I put soap in my teacher's tea at primary school when their back was turned.

That's your lot.

I have done loads of things that aren't great - none of them terrible but ... I think we need to give ourselves understanding for the things that deserve understanding and take ownership (but maybe with compassion) for the things that we should have done better but didn't for whatever reason.

Bank fraud.

i was in a financially abusve relationship and scammed people on eBay and gumtree
how I never got caught I don’t know. I did refund the majority of people down the line and it eats me up even to this day.

Seems quite tame to me! I’d have probably urinated in the doorway! 😀😀

Ex oartner and bad split. We split because her continually refused to divorce his ex. When i finally got rid of him he met someone 2 weeks later and applied for a divorce and the papers came to our jointly owned home. They went in the bin! I dont regret it!

I used to regularly steal from supermarkets. We aren’t hard up but I have a compulsion to do it. I’m a normal middle class professional otherwise. I know it’s awful 😞 and I’ve made myself stop but sometimes I really want to. I’m another ‘probably have mild undiagnosed ADHD’ and I think this is one of the many ways it shows.

Found the idea on Reddit when I was looking for soundproofing solutions 😁

I used to work with a women who had a one night stand with a bloke on her hen bash, stayed in touch with him all through her wedding and honeymoon and then left her new husband for said bloke when she returned from her honeymoon. Absolutely no shame on her part and was happy to brag about it, I found it just it weirdly cold and calculating.

Not being goady, but how does being ADHD manifest in shoplifting? Is it a common symptom?

Im more amused about the waistcoat it was the 90,s it makes sense everyone was wearing them ,i had quite a collection! 😂

I did a few bits as a teen - stealing, hitting kids I babysat for ( iwas regularly beaten myself)

But this one was only last week-

I was at mils and she was as usual making digs at me that dh never seems to hear. I went to the toilet and saw her new hand towels that she had bragged about being v expensive. I had a wee and then thoroughly dried my vagina on her naice towel. Felt much better after that.

I was thinking about this thread last night and I’m not sure now that accidentally killing the lovely bird was the worst thing, it’s just the most recent. Worst things have probably been around old relationships etc but I did remember this..
When my brother (RIP) and I were small we used to play this game called meat factory. It involved cutting worms up in to tiny pieces and putting them in our toy cars and driving them around. There was a meat factory near our Aunties house and we were fascinated.
Now I’m the person who would pick a worm up off the road and move him to safety so I’m horrified that I was ever so cruel.

My parents and I were visiting friends of my parents. I would have been around 7 or 8 at the time. anyhow I was left to myself in their garage for a wee while as the friends daughter disappeared.

She had lots of barbie doll type clothes in a wardrobe in the garage (and they weren’t special nor new) but my terrible self wanted some so I stuck what I could in my panties.

apparently she saw me do it and told both sets of parents in front of me. I denied it and we all left. Mum and Dad never saw their friends again after that.

I have no idea why I wanted those items and nor was I lacking in barbie clothes of my own.

it cost my parents their friendship with those people…. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Yes but she doesn't actually do a bad thing, she only fantasised about doing it.

Honestly, I could not stay married to someone like that. My nerves wouldn't take it. I'd never be able to go on a night out with him, I'd be a gibbering wreck waiting for signs that it's going to kick off any second. Once could happen to anybody, twice and I'd be arching an eyebrow, three times and I'd be out of that relationship like a shot. But 30? How do you sleep at night when he's out?

Oops, edited to say I meant to quote the poster who said her DH had been in 30 punch ups.