What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

[shehardlysleeps]

I’m in a reflective mood, and it’s got me thinking about something I did a few years ago which is probably the thing I’m most deeply ashamed of.

There was a coworker who really rubbed me up the wrong way. I was very unhappy at the time, and going through an awful time personally. She would make snide comments about me, do things with my family members (who were colleagues too) which really got my back up, I felt like she judged me harshly and was pretty rude. Along with another colleague they made three or four very nasty comments which still stick with me.

Instead of raising a grievance, which I should have done, I took to posting about her on another website (along the lines of Mumsnet), not realising she used it too. She saw the posts and reported me, and I ended up facing a meeting with HR and a senior partner of the firm I was working in. It damaged my reputation within the firm forever and I ended up leaving after not being offered a promotion. I still feel ashamed of it now, nearly half a decade on, and feel like it’s tarred me forever.

Whats the worst thing you’ve ever done?

But then I wouldn't have been wet and he'd have wanted to know why I'd turned the shower on! It was 25yrs ago, I lacked rational thought....

very toxic relationship, I was really in love with the man but couldn’t make it work. He messed me around dreadfully and I’ve never forgiven myself for this, but after we broke up I got steaming drunk, went into town and carried on drinking, slept someone we both knew who’d previously asked me out but I hadn’t been interested. I was 30 so can’t use youth as an excuse. Even worse we got back together and I didn’t tell him because I knew it would be the final straw, but the guilt was too much and I had to end it after a few weeks, I was devastated at what I’d done and hated myself and just couldn’t act normal. He did find out eventually. I still think about this often 12 years on, it’s the only thing about my life I would change if I could. I’ve made lots of mistakes but this is the only one that hurt somebody else. It’s baffling how people can carry on with full blown affairs for years, I was a wreck after a 2 minute pump.

I’m really grateful for this thread. I’ve been going through a lot of self-doubt lately and beating myself up for past mistakes. Knowing that I’m not alone, nobody is perfect and we’ve all done things we’re ashamed of has helped me gain some perspective. Love to all you wonderfully awful people!

Name changed for this. At the time of the offence I was in an emotionally and financially abusive marriage. I'm not saying that to excuse my actions, just to explain where I was at mentally.

I was working for a large corporate company and I had volunteered to manage the annual charity raffle at Christmas. There were few checks done. I was well into my overdraft as my husband kept me short of money (despite earning 3x as much as me). I kept 'borrowing' money from the raffle fund and ended up not sending any of it off (just short of £200). It has played on my mind horrendously over the years and I now donate very generously and regularly to select charities to try and assuage my guilt.

It’s absolutely horrendous if it’s true.

I think this is one of those where it’s a means to an end.

I’m sure it will, but it doesn’t ease my guilt over how I handled it at all.

Neil here. Thanks. You were my best that day too.

@Katemax82oh god, I bet you didn't drink again for quite some time!

I once puked in the back of a taxi & just paid him the normal fare & got out. Poor guy. He didn't even seem to notice somehow! I was about 17

Back when I was young, I worked at a place that paid notoriously awfully and had really insecure contracts.

For some reason, I was made the ‘head’ of the team and the work was split between three of us, although it wasn’t even enough for a full-time role for one person.

When it came to reallocating the shifts, I was trying to get a mortgage to move out of my parents’ place, and I asked for all the shifts for myself. I still feel awful about it now, the others in that team were lovely.

🤣🤣🤣

When I was a teenager (about 12 onwards) my parents stopped paying for anything I needed

(My mother is a narcissist and my father goes along with whatever she wants)

Food/sanpro/school uniform/school books/school shoes/clothes/teenage treats/chocolate/period painkillers etc-i had to fund it myself

I got a babysitting job that would pay £5 per day (stay over,get to,get the kids to school,go to school myself,come back,pick the kids up,start the evening routine,put them to bed,rinse and repeat for years)

Dad wasnt very hands on and mum was either in the pub or at work-they split up and mum really went on a bender with dad in the background

I also had really bad periods-id go through a pad an hour/hour and a half and had to fund these myself

One period,I had no money at all for some reason (I would have been about 14) and knew neither parent would 'lend' me a few quid for some always so I saw £10 on the side and swiped it

I bought the pads i so badly needed (didnt have enough for food so stole some pasta when they where out) and they knew it was me-i got into so much trouble but it was either that or miss school/work due to free bleeding and the cycle would continue (no work,no pay)

They are millionaires who could afford to miss a tenner but I still feel so unbelievably guilty and have paid my dues to them (financially and emotionally) in many ways since

Im now nc and they can't understand why

Out of all the posts this is imho the worst.
Man I hope karma bites you hard. I think you are a really shit person. Zero integrity.
And the “lol”? Ugh.

Depends how many bodies they have buried under the patio already. What's one more?

When my mum died, she had a policy to cover funeral expenses. Except it was £400 short of covering the funeral. (She'd paid into it for years, I'll never use that company, they should be done for fraud in my opinion).
Anyway, I robbed Peter to pay Paul, instead of telling DH I needed extra money, as he was always stressing about it.
Consequently, I hid letters from the mortgage company, regarding the arrears.
One day I had an unsettling feeling. My DH had a day off work, I was constantly hovering around to make sure he didn't get to the post before I did anyway.
I couldn't shake off this awful feeling that something was going to happen. I made the excuse of going out to go clean the inside of my car.
A man pulled up in the street, followed by a transit van. He came over and asked if I was "my name". I said yes, he said "We're here to repossess your house".
I had to take him inside to let my DH, who had absolutely no idea what was going on, know what was happening.
The bailiff was amazing. He tried to come up with every solution possible for us. He should only have been there half an hour, but stayed for 3 hours.
We were evicted as we couldn't get hold of anyone to help at all. We rented for a year.
The upshot was that the equity payout from the house when the bank sold it was substantial, after selling some things and my dad topping it up, we managed to buy a much better house outright. A far nicer house in fact.
But the guilt still eats me up, that I had caused all that and turned my DHs world upside down in a second. I told him while we were trying to sort things out, that once everything was settled, I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to leave me and I would accept his decision. He said, and it still makes me cry now, that "we married for better or for worse, there's no way I'll be doing that". I caused so much pain, for my DH and my dad, who wouldn't speak to me for a good 8 months. I still have bouts of horrendous guilt, even though it's 11 years ago and we've got through it. I sadly lost my dad due to Parkinsons in 2023, I still wonder if my stupidity exacerbated his condition. Maybe that was my karma.

Two girls in the year above me in primary school used to bully me and make my life a misery. In their final and my penultimate p.s. year they said they would be waiting for me when I went up to the secondary school.

That summer the girl who was the ringleader in bullying me, died suddenly. I honestly couldn't decide whether to feel terrible or relieved. Sounds awful, I know, but I was so scared of them. No excuse to feel relief, I know, but I was ten or eleven and had lots of conflicting feelings at the time.

I'm hoping it's made up, but I'm not too hopeful.

This really made me laugh 😂

Dumped a group of friends via messenger and then slagged them off on insta
I was in an abusive marriage at the time and i was angry that they hadn't noticed the complete change in my personality and appearance. They kept making comments about my weight and kept putting everything down to having a baby. Which it had nothing to do with. Anyway, it ended v v badly and i have never spoken to them again

This is diabolical.

Your workmates will hate you. Your daughter will always feel ashamed that nepotism got her where she is and likely has no confidence in her own abilities. Her workmates no doubt dislike her too as 'they know.'

There are no winners here. I don't know why you would feel smug about it.

I don’t see what’s bad about this at all you were broken up

I asked. I am so sorry you have had this guilt all your life and can understand it must be difficult.

You must forgive yourself, you were such a young child, a puppy yourself, and no adult was watching out for either you or the vulnerable puppy.

I even once saw a grown man drop a puppy because it was wriggling. It didn’t get harmed, but it might have.

Really? Deliberately lying about cancer, befriending women to steal their man, stealing, violence.... And this is the worst 😐

He put his shoes on the kitchen counter !

Bloody awful, isn't it? And the poster sounds proud of herself. Sickening. I think if I was doing well at work, then found at retrospectively that my mother had manipulated things for me to succeed, I would resign. I'd rather get by on my own merits than have my mother still holding the reins.