What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

[shehardlysleeps]

I’m in a reflective mood, and it’s got me thinking about something I did a few years ago which is probably the thing I’m most deeply ashamed of.

There was a coworker who really rubbed me up the wrong way. I was very unhappy at the time, and going through an awful time personally. She would make snide comments about me, do things with my family members (who were colleagues too) which really got my back up, I felt like she judged me harshly and was pretty rude. Along with another colleague they made three or four very nasty comments which still stick with me.

Instead of raising a grievance, which I should have done, I took to posting about her on another website (along the lines of Mumsnet), not realising she used it too. She saw the posts and reported me, and I ended up facing a meeting with HR and a senior partner of the firm I was working in. It damaged my reputation within the firm forever and I ended up leaving after not being offered a promotion. I still feel ashamed of it now, nearly half a decade on, and feel like it’s tarred me forever.

Whats the worst thing you’ve ever done?

There was a TV show about this sort of thing I vaguely remember where someone had to pretend they'd won the lottery and become really awful. If they got away with it they got a free holiday for all of their friends & family they'd had to lie to. It was a bloody awful show....I've never forgotten it.

I've already posted my used pad childhood debacle but on reflection, there is one thing I did as a child that has haunted me more.

My grandad died of dementia when I was about 9. For some unknown reason my Mum brought me along to his deathbed to be there with the rest of the family for his final moments. Unfortunately I had literally just had the vicar round at school the day before, talking about how when Jesus comes back, all the dead will be raised to life again and not to be sad if someone you know dies as they are better off with Jesus in Heaven where everything is perfect. I was a very naive and innocent child, so fully believing the resurrection was right around the corner, I was very confused as to why all the adults were crying. About 10 minutes after he passed away, I asked my sobbing gran "why are you upset, it doesn't matter that he's died" again thinking he'd very shortly be back with us when Jesus returned. Obviously this got people in the room quite angry and I didn't really get a chance to explain myself as I followed this with "he's better off in Heaven than being alive", again completely innocently believing he was now having the time of his life with Jesus upstairs. I did NOT get any further attempts to tell anyone what I had meant as I was taken out of the room and shouted at quite a lot (understandably). My gran was inconsolable after this and she also passed away a few months later. I always felt as a child that I might have contributed to her broken heart and resulting death with my very clumsy attempts to make sense of things.

None of that was remotely your fault @FireHorse29

I can answer this.

Yes, you can reach a point where you're not consumed by shame and guilt anymore. I had an abusive childhood, wild teen years and excessively partying 20s. For years I would wake up in a cold sweat at night remembering how I was mean to a person in primary school, or flashing someone as a teen, or shagging an inappropriate guy in my 20s, or that I once left a party without saying "thanks for having me". I would stop seeing friends out of embarrassment, I'd feel sick with shame, I'd think these were things I could never come back from.

In my 30s I stopped drinking and had therapy. I realised a lot of my previous behaviour was due to having bad social anxiety so drinking to self soothe, then my anxious brain was torturing me with a lowlights reel of my past behaviour whenever it could. I was so cruel to myself. There's no need to suffer for 20 years for something you did. Even murderers hardly ever get sentences that long.

Now I look back on my past self with a kind of indulgent 'what was I like?!' feeling. I do wish I'd been kinder to others as a child and teen, but I'd never received any kindness then so I didn't know how. Once I knew better (and my brain had properly developed) I did better.

The outside world is horrible enough, don't let the inside of your mind be terrible too. 💐

Was an Avon lady once in the noughties. A customer returned an item and I never gave them their refund.

Imagine the things being said about her behind her back. She also has to live with the knowledge that she wasn't capable of finding a job herself after graduating. I feel very sad for her.

Yes, because she's proud of her actions, not ashamed. At least other posters are showing a bit of humility and know what they have done is completely wrong.

Too many to choose from 😂

Probably when I broke a girl's jaw in sparring class because I didn't like her and I was trying to impress a boy at the club.

@BeaRightThere Nope - planned drinks would have been fine. I was worried sick because he said he’d be home in half an hour and turned up 5 hours later, something he’d never done before (or since). Icy country roads over high ground in the middle of winter, I thought they’d had an accident. It was the staggering in and walking past me without saying a word that was infuriating.

So, there you go.

Mine are mainly about sex with people I should have not slept with (guy I worked with who had a girlfriend, manager at work who was using me for sex) some other random men who were too old for me. I have a lot of shame about it but I was a troubled and unsupported by family teen and young adult.

I am a totally different person now but yes I wish I could turn back time and make better choices.

I 100% agree. Especially "poor things, asked so many times lol." That is really fucked up, laughing at how you treated people unfairly. Frankly I hope her daughter gets messed around in the same way in her next job.

to add these were all different places and times so I wasnt known as a bike or anything lol

ooo I might try this on my nasty neighbour too.

One of my neighbours has an awful yappy dog that drives me insane with the constant barking. One morning I was standing at my living room window and noticed that the little hell raiser had somehow got out of the gate and was sniffing its way down the opposite side of the street towards the busy road. I briefly considered raising the alarm but instead I closed the blinds and walked away. Still can't believe I did that.

(Don't worry! Another neighbour intervened and the dog was returned home safe and well and continues to yap away morning, noon and night!)

I'm not getting the ones about sex with two people in one day being the worst thing, have also done it and I'm totally not ashamed!! Interesting how people view this differently.

This is brilliant.

My bully from school applied for a job I was in charge of recruiting for...CV straight in the bin! Actions have consequences and I gave zero fucks!

The worst thing I have done is probably cheating on my boyfriend when I was 23 but I have happily been with the 'other man' for 20 + years and we are very happy and have a lovely family so zero regrets, although I did feel bad for the heartache I caused at the time.

So glad I saw your comment. Thought I was really bad!
I had sex with 2 men in one evening. Hot summer night in 1974. Never told anyone that.

This thread is about the worst thing you’ve ever done, yet you seem proud of this! What a rotten example you have set your daughter!

There are some evil people on this thread!

Similar one for me....I hit a neighbour's prestige car when I was trying to parallel park. There was quite a bit of damage but I knew it was a company car so wouldn't cost them anything to repair. Thankfully it was dark and no-one saw me. I drove off and parked on a different street. Gave my car (also damaged but not as badly) a good wipe down to remove paint from other car. I never got caught. I've never told a soul - not even DH - and we moved from there 9 years ago!

I agree. But maybe it’s case of the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and the daughter is as morally bankrupt as her mum. (If the story is true)

Misdiagnosed someone's pet and did not advise euthanasia as quickly as I should. In mitigation, I was relatively newly qualified vet and not being properly mentored. It started a spiral of lost confidence and I left clinical work for good within a few weeks.

Why didn’t the customer pursue the refund?

That's really nasty.

None of that justifies what you did IMO.