What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

[shehardlysleeps]

I’m in a reflective mood, and it’s got me thinking about something I did a few years ago which is probably the thing I’m most deeply ashamed of.

There was a coworker who really rubbed me up the wrong way. I was very unhappy at the time, and going through an awful time personally. She would make snide comments about me, do things with my family members (who were colleagues too) which really got my back up, I felt like she judged me harshly and was pretty rude. Along with another colleague they made three or four very nasty comments which still stick with me.

Instead of raising a grievance, which I should have done, I took to posting about her on another website (along the lines of Mumsnet), not realising she used it too. She saw the posts and reported me, and I ended up facing a meeting with HR and a senior partner of the firm I was working in. It damaged my reputation within the firm forever and I ended up leaving after not being offered a promotion. I still feel ashamed of it now, nearly half a decade on, and feel like it’s tarred me forever.

Whats the worst thing you’ve ever done?

I wouldn’t even think this was a bad thing to do! Were you cheating on any of them?

I've realised I'm very dull, reading this thread.

I think I may be even more unadventurous than Theresa May, bless her. On a walk with a friend when I was about 12, we saw one of those milk containers with a dial to show how many pints they wanted that day and we switched it from 1 to 6. Dearie me.

I think I once killed a small animal by treading on it when I was about 4. I was very upset. It was a complete accident but that doesn't make it easier to bear!

Oh - and I threw my sister's treasured sapphire ring (from a cracker, when she was about 7) out of the upstairs bathroom window into the garden border when she'd annoyed me. It was never found, although we did try. It's weird but this bothers me as much as some of the more serious things people have mentioned on here.

How did they know it was definitely you? You obviously didn’t name names or the company or where you were from and unless you posted under your name….where was the proof?? I don’t think you did anything wrong! I would have denied all
knowledge 😂🙈

Lots of people have mentioned wishing they'd had more moral guidance as children. This is interesting. I was brought up long ago in a very old-fashioned, church-going family in the countryside. Guilt was definitely instilled into me and my sister - not so much the explicitly religious guilt, as in 'Jesus wouldn't like that' - but just a sense of shame for bad behaviour. This has certainly had a life-long effect on me. It can be just as damaging as having very little moral guidance, of course - I've been at a disadvantage many times from people who have absolutely NO shame about anything - petty theft, fraud, deception etc.

So - the moral guidance has been beneficial, I guess, to other people, but not necessarily to me in navigating life and the various sharks you encounter! 😄

Thank you. Did it get better for you? X

Had a friend sleep over we were about 10. Told her there was a dead baby in my mums wardrobe on the top shelf and sometimes at night the door would open by itself and the baby would fall out and slither round the house. She was hysterical and had to go home. No idea why I said that!

I agree, the ‘lol’ wound me up.

Because she recognised her own behaviour and what she had said to me! To be honest it does wind me up that everything she had done just got swept under the rug, because she was really very nasty. But it seemed they were more worried about a) me not following the correct practice and b) a client of the firm potentially recognising social media posts about what happens at the firm and realising the lovely, friendly “work family” image they put out isn’t quite as it seems.

I used to steal money from friends, one in particular. I shouldnt have done it and theres a lot of excuses and pity points i could try and to score but it was wrong and im very sorry about it. We've not spoken since we were 17

At those prices the management should probably have placed a limit on how many a customer can purchase. That said, had i known at the time, I would probably have done the same 😆

I used to steal money from my parents when I was a child, too. My mum used to shout at me about it which was fair enough really I suppose. Many years later on mumsnet, someone was talking about stealing money from parents and explaining that sometimes it's because the child wanted some of the parents' attention/love etc. It was a real lightbulb moment for me. There's a lot of stuff on mumsnet that is seriously educative, even if the poster never realises it.

Oh God - shame on you. Of all the posts here, I agree that this is the most shocking and unforgiveable.

And absolutely no remorse from the perpetrator. Horrible, selfish, unprincipled, corrupt, self-serving...yes, I DO judge this pp.

So depressing. And the daughter knows that she didn't get where she is by her own merit or effort, but because Mum is a corrupt bad apple. How will that make her feel in the future?

I didn't go to see my mother when I knew she was dying and I don't feel bad about it.

However I realised that anyone who had a different childhood and relationship with their mother wouldn't understand and would seriously judge me, so I lied and pretended her death was sudden and unexpected.

I'm absolutely howling at this 😂

I don’t understand what you think you did wrong here —you weren’t the one writing the ‘vicious’ responses, right?

Have you had counselling? You need to learn to forgive yourself

I puked up over a taxi driver. I wasn't a young foolish woman either. It was my husband's work leaving drinks and I had too much and we got a taxi home, I was laid down on the back seat and felt rough and he offered to pull over but I thought I was ok...next thing puke erupted out of me like a fountain and went over his head! When we got home I rushed indoors covered in vomit straight up to my top floor bedroom and got in the shower and proceeded to puke in there. My sister and her husband were watching my kids and they saw me come in like that. My daughter was 9 and really freaked out by it. My husband was left to deal with paying this poor man extra to cover the cleaning cost. The next day my husband woke up with a contact lense still in and upon removing it he damaged his eye so we spent all day at hospital while my mum and stepdad watched the kids and we had to pay for their fish and chips as I hadn't had time to prepare any food and my kids wouldn't have eaten anything my stepdad cooked (mum had mobility issues). All this happened when I was 40!

Had a long-term affair with an ex, which resulted in us ending our marriages. I actually don't regret a thing. Harsh but true - well I regret that people got hurt but I could go back in time I'd probably still do the same (though if we've got a time machine, I would have stayed with that ex in the first place and never married my first husband) but it's still probably the worst thing I've ever done.

I don't know why but I think all the people confessing to things like this - piss on brushes, cups in toilets, dinner in shoes - are far worse people than the ones who had an affair or drunken mistake.

To be fair that's on your parents isn't it?

It was for the heinous crime of coming home late drunk because after work drinks went on too long

The fact that you've got to a point of reflection and feel guilt means that you've developed and grown. This is the point of life, to grow. You wish you'd done things differently, you can't change the past but can act according to what you now know in the future. That's a good thing and something many never achieve. You're doing well.

My friends sister was really popular and every boy I liked fancied her. I wished she would just disappear (after slagging her off immensely). 2 days after wishing that she died. We were 16 and I thought I'd caused it by wishing so hard

I’m so sorry you weren’t supported. Hopefully karma came and got her one day!!

I just wanted to acknowledge your post and to say I hope you can some way back to better mental and emotional health. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. 💐