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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to move on after several odd and insensitive comments?

80 replies

fireandice26 · 20/04/2026 13:12

Hello,

I'm looking for advice/insight as I don't know if I'm being petty here!

Been on a quite a few dates with someone (over 2-3 months) who I initially felt an attraction to, but in recent times, he's said/done a few things I find to be really odd/bizarre. Since then, I feel that something is 'off' here.

Examples:

I'm a Buddhist. I go to my temple more of a way to meditate/clear my mind. My skin tone is on the lighter side, so I understand that most people wouldn't think I'm Buddhist, even though my Mum is Nepalese and my Dad is English. (My skin colour is like Meghan Markle's).

• Initially, he said: 'You don't look Buddhist! Do you sit and pray all day in an orange sheet?!' I said 'no' and corrected him. It felt somewhat 'off' to me, but I let it slide.

• My Mum used to be a veterinarian (my parents own the clinic) and we often go to the clinic as the ladies who work there are her friends still. I told him about a de-matting process that was brutal for my Mum (this was something that happened years ago) but how the dog got actually adopted by my parents! I love animals and he said: 'You don't come home smelling of animal shit after being at the clinic, do you?'

• Another time, I collected a delivery from a parcel locker when I was out with him - and he asked what it was. I explained it was an electric tin opener. (My Mum has arthritis now). He was almost weirded out/miffed about it and said: 'Does your Mum not know how to open tins?!'

These sound like minor things, but he comes across as really ignorant to things in life... and it irks me. AIBU to just move on? I don't know if it's him trying to be funny - or just plain rude/offensive. I don't want to sound precious, but I also don't want to put up with nonsense from ignorant men. This is a man who is 42 years old, mind you!!

OP posts:
jdb9803 · Yesterday 18:32

This is the relationship at its best - will go downhill soon!!!!

MMUmum · Yesterday 19:02

fireandice26 · 20/04/2026 13:12

Hello,

I'm looking for advice/insight as I don't know if I'm being petty here!

Been on a quite a few dates with someone (over 2-3 months) who I initially felt an attraction to, but in recent times, he's said/done a few things I find to be really odd/bizarre. Since then, I feel that something is 'off' here.

Examples:

I'm a Buddhist. I go to my temple more of a way to meditate/clear my mind. My skin tone is on the lighter side, so I understand that most people wouldn't think I'm Buddhist, even though my Mum is Nepalese and my Dad is English. (My skin colour is like Meghan Markle's).

• Initially, he said: 'You don't look Buddhist! Do you sit and pray all day in an orange sheet?!' I said 'no' and corrected him. It felt somewhat 'off' to me, but I let it slide.

• My Mum used to be a veterinarian (my parents own the clinic) and we often go to the clinic as the ladies who work there are her friends still. I told him about a de-matting process that was brutal for my Mum (this was something that happened years ago) but how the dog got actually adopted by my parents! I love animals and he said: 'You don't come home smelling of animal shit after being at the clinic, do you?'

• Another time, I collected a delivery from a parcel locker when I was out with him - and he asked what it was. I explained it was an electric tin opener. (My Mum has arthritis now). He was almost weirded out/miffed about it and said: 'Does your Mum not know how to open tins?!'

These sound like minor things, but he comes across as really ignorant to things in life... and it irks me. AIBU to just move on? I don't know if it's him trying to be funny - or just plain rude/offensive. I don't want to sound precious, but I also don't want to put up with nonsense from ignorant men. This is a man who is 42 years old, mind you!!

He's just a bit 'not very bright' he can't help his ignorant comments because he doesn't know any better. You are intellectually incompatible sadly 🫤

Walker1178 · Yesterday 19:06

I’ll be honest OP, you’re a much nicer person than me. I would have thrown him back after answering the first stupid question, I definitely wouldn’t have stuck around for a load more!

Beachwalker66 · Yesterday 19:16

You sound way too good for him tbh.

Spangers · Yesterday 19:56

He sounds like a knob…

FuriousFire · Yesterday 19:58

He isn’t very bright is he?

Partypants83 · Yesterday 21:04

Turnitoffnonagain · 20/04/2026 13:19

Stupid. Insensitive. Tactless.
Don't waste your time, throw him back.

All this and more. He's ignorant.
Move on

5128gap · Yesterday 21:13

He sounds rude, disrespectful and a bit thick. You sound far too interesting for him.

Bikergran · Yesterday 21:15

Eeeeeeeuuuuwww.

AIBU to move on after several odd and insensitive comments?
Tablesandchairs23 · Yesterday 21:20

He's thick as shit, insensitive, uneducated. Get rid.

Slightyamusedandsilly · Yesterday 21:22

Let me guess. He's never been married and has no children.

Itiswhysofew · Yesterday 21:24

He sounds ridiculous. You wouldn't want to be subjected to his attempts at a sense of humour long-term, would you?

INeedAnotherName · Yesterday 22:07

he comes across as really ignorant to things in life... and it irks me

It doesn't matter if he is ignorant, stupid or negging as the end result is that his behaviour/words annoy you. It won't get better than this so get rid and find someone better, or at least one who doesn't annoy you.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · Yesterday 22:10

He’s insensitive / tactless / ignorant. The list of stupid comments will only grow and it’s inevitable some of them will really upset you. Get rid.

swingingbytheseat · Yesterday 22:10

He’s insensitive, and, worse than that thinks he’s funny

SqueakyFromme · Yesterday 22:17

He is an idiot, his comments are so lame, I would just be cringing in his company, you, on the other hand sound wonderful and totally out of his league which I would guess he knows.

nam3c4ang3 · Yesterday 22:21

Sorry he sounds incredibly stupid OP - do yourself a favour - dump this idiot.

pictoosh · Yesterday 22:22

ohyesido · 20/04/2026 13:35

so he mocks and belittles things that he doesn’t understand?

Yep.

WhatNextImScared · Yesterday 22:23

Agree with everyone else. He sounds like a twat. Stuff like this will only become more irritating in time. Lean into the ick and get rid.

Namingbaba · Yesterday 22:24

For someone in his 40s that’s intolerable. He’s not going to mature.

penguin816 · Yesterday 22:25

Rude, ignorant, offensive, insensitive and lacks compassion for animals. He is awful!!

FantasiaTurquoise · Yesterday 22:30

I think the fact that they bother you enough to post here is your gut telling you you have doubts.

78Summer · Yesterday 22:31

None of those comments are intelligent. You sound like a thoughtful and intelligent person.

Bigcat25 · Yesterday 22:34

He doesn't sound very bright. His comment about the orange sheet and the can opener are ignorant and insensitive.

Gabitule · Yesterday 22:41

I don’t think he is stupid, I think he’s just trying to be funny (the comment about the orange sheets suggests that he does know something about Buddhism and I know so many people who wouldn’t know what a Buddhist monk is or looks like). If he makes this sort of comments again, tell him that this is not your type of humour and you find his comments quite offensive. If he carries on, it means that he is actually dumb