AIBU to move on after several odd and insensitive comments?

[fireandice26]

Hello,

I'm looking for advice/insight as I don't know if I'm being petty here!

Been on a quite a few dates with someone (over 2-3 months) who I initially felt an attraction to, but in recent times, he's said/done a few things I find to be really odd/bizarre. Since then, I feel that something is 'off' here.

Examples:

I'm a Buddhist. I go to my temple more of a way to meditate/clear my mind. My skin tone is on the lighter side, so I understand that most people wouldn't think I'm Buddhist, even though my Mum is Nepalese and my Dad is English. (My skin colour is like Meghan Markle's).

• Initially, he said: 'You don't look Buddhist! Do you sit and pray all day in an orange sheet?!' I said 'no' and corrected him. It felt somewhat 'off' to me, but I let it slide.

• My Mum used to be a veterinarian (my parents own the clinic) and we often go to the clinic as the ladies who work there are her friends still. I told him about a de-matting process that was brutal for my Mum (this was something that happened years ago) but how the dog got actually adopted by my parents! I love animals and he said: 'You don't come home smelling of animal shit after being at the clinic, do you?'

• Another time, I collected a delivery from a parcel locker when I was out with him - and he asked what it was. I explained it was an electric tin opener. (My Mum has arthritis now). He was almost weirded out/miffed about it and said: 'Does your Mum not know how to open tins?!'

These sound like minor things, but he comes across as really ignorant to things in life... and it irks me. AIBU to just move on? I don't know if it's him trying to be funny - or just plain rude/offensive. I don't want to sound precious, but I also don't want to put up with nonsense from ignorant men. This is a man who is 42 years old, mind you!!

He sounds like a complete tosser. I’d end it if I were you.

Move on! He doesn’t sound very compatible to your lifestyle.

He sounds immature to me, and very annoying...I'd get bored of that extremely quickly

I couldn’t bear to be with such an ignorant man

Move on. You’re a bad match. He is stupid.

He doesn't sound very intelligent or even diplomatic. Those sort of comments will become more frequent as the relationship goes on. Don't waste your time.

Chuck this ignorant tosser back.

He's thick and immature - dump him.

Stupid. Insensitive. Tactless.
Don't waste your time, throw him back.

Rude bugger, isn’t he?

Gormless and rude. Or perhaps he's done one of those online courses that teach men how to "neg" women to knock them down a few pegs, so he doesn't feel so threatened by you.

He’s a complete fool, and how or why you lasted several dates is beyond me.

(Also, about three quarters of the practising Buddhists I know are white.)

He’s nice in other respects? You like his company? The comments he’s made suggest that he might be quite passive aggressive. They aren’t friendly comments, are they? Trust your gut.

These sound like minor things

They really don't, OP!

These are really shitty comments he has made in response to learning things about you, your beliefs, your family, your values, things that are important to you and just who you are as a person. It will just be the very tip of the iceberg.

If you find it hard to see it this way, imagine how you'd feel of he'd said any of these things in front of your friends, family or people whose opinions you valued.

He's ignorant and rude, and ill informed, with zero curiosity.

Unless you want to spend the rest of your life fielding comments like that and making excuses for him socially I would not go on another date with him.

Sounds like he's as thick as mince to me!

It could also be as @springhyacinths says that he's trying to somehow put you down a bit, by kind of belittling things that are important to you. Either way, it'd be a no from me.

He sounds uncouth and uneducated tbh. Like a lad about town who doesn’t know when it’s impolite to say something and who has no wider experience outside of his bubble. It would put me off.

He sounds thick . If you want to date a dipshit then carry on - but he’s not going to suddenly become more intelligent !

He sounds immature at best

I wouldn't waste anymore time on him, OP

I think you’re very generous in calling him insensitive.

He just sounds really thick.

So he’s made iffy/ignorant comments about your religion, your mother and your family’s business. Urgh I would get rid. It sounds like attempts at negging and will only get worse.

Amazing that's he's got to 42 without acquiring more knowledge of the world and it's people than this. He is ignorant and stupid, yes finish it.

At best he sounds incredibly annoying and immature. Let him go.

He is stupid and rude.

Omg this sounds like my brother. He trys to be funny and comes out with the stupidest comments.

It is really annoying because what do you even say to that? It kills conversation