What is the obsession with therapy/counselling?

[iamfedupwiththis]

Ok please tell me what is the bloody obsession on this site with therapy or counselling??

Nearly every thread I read there are people suggesting therapy for the most simple of things

Can no one make any decisions alone any more?

Can no make changes to improve their life with it?

Can no one pick up a hobby or do something for themselves without?

I don't get it?

I don't get what talking about it for years on end changes the situation.

I don't use it for such purposes myself, but you can instruct it to be 'objective' (or other suitable instructions).

I’ve never seen anyone suggesting therapy for any of the things you mentioned.

That said, while self care like exercise, cold water swimming, giving up drinking, improving my sleep, joining a support group all have helped me tremendously, they couldn’t help me make sense of experiences of abuse and other traumas. Therapy was incredibly beneficial and I only needed it short term (6 months or so). I’m incredibly grateful.

You can’t exercise yourself out of trauma, but it can be part of the healing process.

That said, I don’t think this is super new. I grew up in the 90s and many of my friends, myself included, were sent to therapists. It seems to be the thing to do when you’re screwing your kid up and you can’t see it, but you’re middle class and can throw money at the problem. 😂

I haven’t read the full thread. I’d have loved someone to tell me I just needed to read or play piano when I buried my baby. I’d probably have kicked them into the grave with her, except I was so heartbroken I couldn’t.
good on the therapy refusers - they have “things from the past”and don’t we all etc.
Not everyone has buried a child.
Not everyone has been raped or sexually assaulted and not believed by friends or a million other things that a positive outlook alone matches them through life unscathed.

Oh trust me I gave it a very clear insight objectives and challenged it from multiple angles daily. Not advocating for the masses as it could be highly delusion inducing but in all honesty it's a great tool if used responsibility

I agree

I think of all the quiet suffering there was years ago, when people had to keep their problems to themselves and conform. When they couldn’t even acknowledge that they had a problem, that they felt unhappy. Any trauma was just not referred to, whether war experiences, stillbirths or adoptions, grieving. “Just get on with it.” “Ignore it and it will go away.”

It was also far worse when people lived in small, closed communities.

There has been so much written about the damage that did, so many books written and films made, that I do wonder what it is that makes the OP so uncomfortable and dismissive.

I hate all the therapy speech... "I can't eat crisps, they are so triggering"

That has nothing to do with actual therapy, though. That’s just magazine pop psychology used by people who don’t understand what they’re saying. It’s a modern equivalent of ‘I’m allergic to spinach’ when what you mean is ‘I don’t like spinach’.

Therapy is needed more and more these days because we have lost communities and connections that look out for one another IMHO

People usually like to help and offer advice when someone has a problem.
But via social media there is a lot of diagnosis, prescribing and suggestion to all manner of things for people they have never met on the basis often of only one ‘side ‘presented. But it can go too far.
I often see adults and children diagnosed by people they haven’t met on the basis of a paragraph or two. Which clearly isn’t okay.
I suspect whether counselling works depends on the ability of the counsellor.

Therapy provides a neutral & private place
Excuse me but some of us have work place eap which is a great safe healthy way to deal with work issues or relationships.
Years of therapy no, several vists.
Oh what about sexual abuse victims, roxic relationships still parenting together, divorce..so many instances.
Some of us beliece it is a healthy way instead of drinking or self abuse.
I work with many a damaged divorced man.. poor buggers tell me alot... i pushed one to go to eap..he rung and thanked me to get out of his rut..his insecurities his issues to be a decent Dad.
Go play the piano lol.

Yes we all work function and have social life..hobbies but we dont all share or hide our issues.
Fark never ends on here.

Some communities are the reason therapy is needed.

People are less resiliant now now, in the past possibly relied on family and friends as a support network. Life is more fragmented with work, kids, bills and a internet [phone addiction getting in the way.

Yes, because insulting peeps makes you such a better person doesn't it?🙄
I've been through childhood abuse and dv, not all of us want therapy or want to talk about it with a stranger. If it helps someone that's good but it is over done on MN, like some sort of have a spa day used to be the answer for every thing, or a glass of the shitty prosecco.

It’s easy to be skeptical about it until something happens that has an affect on your mental health to the point where you realise you cannot cope and need help with it

I know what you mean OP, the posters are really quick to suggest therapy, and apparently often multiple therapies should be tried - individual, couple, family... Do people in real life even have funds for therapy??
If not therapy, then LTB

I actually think this is a really good discussion.

Therapy is a booming business and yet resilience is much lower than it's ever been so is there a correlation?

In my own professional and personal experience many therapists have very little self awareness, and younger ones (particularly those in their 30's interestingly) often seem to get muddled with therapy, drama and real life.

I have received integrative style therapy several times but am yet to find one that doesn't just want to agree with me, and tell me how 'lovely' I am. My issue with self esteem, it's rock bottom, and always has been so i don't need to be told I'm lovely, I don't feel lovely.

Well, disproportionate numbers of Mners are friendless or struggle with friendships, and are NC with family, or describe as ‘friends’ peiole they don’t like and who aren’t nice to them, so often don’t have the option of running it by someone they’re close to. It does often also mean they have little basis for comparison on things like abusive or unhappy relationships.

Because a lot of people live in their own heads these days and have a complete lack of self awareness. Completely failing to see the impact of their selfishness on their loved ones/families/co workers. They need constant validation. It's so draining.

We all have good times and bad times, resilience is self taught.

For me it transformed my life. I was raised by emotionally negligent parents and put in horribly dangerous sustains that resulted in me being repeatedly raped by a family friend. My mum didn’t believe me as she wanted to keep him as a friend and it reflected badly on her. I loved my mum, it screwed my up beyond belief. I ended up in a violent relegation with a drug dealer with two babies by age 19. I was a disaster and a drug addict with zero qualifications. I was a terrible person.

Therapy helped me to learn boundaries and accountability. It taught me to heal my mother wound by self soothing and replacing her awful critical mean voice with my own words and feelings. It taught me that it’s ok not to be ok and it’s ok to ask for help. By the time I was 25 I was clean and stable. By 40 I’d worked my way up to a BA and an MA. I still have ptsd from the sexual abuse and I still need therapy top ups every few years. I’ve probably done 2000 hours all together but without it my kids would have been in care as I’d likely have been a heroine addicted prostitute.

Instead I’m happy and loved and I love wholly and completely and without reserve. I fundraiser and deliver free meals within my community. I’m a good person. Without therapy I wouldn’t be.

There is often threads on MN which are a lot of drama over much of nothing.
Hence posters will ask, why make a thread about this? Do you really need to ask if yabu? I think too many peeps confuse real life with what they see on line.
The number of posters who admit they over think things and tie themselves up in nods is amazing.

Because it’s the only treatment option for a lot of things. People don’t want to be told to just sort their head out themselves (and that’s often not possible) so people suggest therapy instead.

Probably as a lot of people do t seem to have friends anymore to chat things through

I've found it incredibly helpful. My son has also found it incredibly helpful.

If it helps some people, which it does, I'm really not seeing the issue.