What is the obsession with therapy/counselling?

[iamfedupwiththis]

Ok please tell me what is the bloody obsession on this site with therapy or counselling??

Nearly every thread I read there are people suggesting therapy for the most simple of things

Can no one make any decisions alone any more?

Can no make changes to improve their life with it?

Can no one pick up a hobby or do something for themselves without?

I don't get it?

I don't get what talking about it for years on end changes the situation.

I totally agree! People need to grow up and also become more resilient

Talking is so powerful, and therapy is different to just talking to your friends, as they're not there to agree with you or big you up, just to guide your thoughts and the conversation to help you think and maybe uncover feelings you didn't realise you had.

I had therapy for the first time a couple of weeks ago, after thinking it wouldn't do anything. It helped.

If you don't think you need it - fine.

But don't come after those who do, or those who suggest it - as it can help.

It's part of the over-medicalising of the normal human experience. Every difficult emotion is categorised as a symptom of a disorder and needs professional assistance to resolve.

I'm sure that'd be really helpful to someone in distress. 🙄

What puts me off any kind of therapy is the fact I know two professional therapists / councillors in my social circle and they’re both bat shit crazy and have made dreadful decisions in their lives.

I’m amazed people pay them for guidance and advice.

I will also say that I have known some people (not saying you are one OP), who use 'busyness' as something of an avoidance mechanism that sounds far more virtuous and self important than 'I would rather avoid some rather hard questions about why I do this shit, what it is like for those around me, and what can I do that is less harmful to me and those caught in the blast radius'?

For example, that bloody great gin was not a very health coping mechanism for someone with houses full of alcholics on both sides, who had been drinking from before the age of two, had been groomed with alcohol for S.A, and was drinking with her alcoholic father from before lunch time on weekends, and at lunch and after school on weekdays!

And no, not all therapists and counsellors are created equal. Some are charlatans and predatory arseholes, to be frank. Just like not all forms of therapy and counselling are as effective and beneficial as others, for all people.

So what is the right thing to do??

But you've never struggled enough to need help, some people have.

I thought the same as you about therapy for years but then I thought wth and gave it a go. And it changed my life, it made me realise so many things about myself and relationships that id missed.

Therapy helps people be proactive and make positive changes though, its not all sitting about rehashing your history for weeks. But it helps you look at things differently, put positive steps in place and deal with situations better than you did before. Its 100% not about dwelling on anything its about learning, processing and moving forward.

A lot of people who are against therapy have this same belief. 'I had a terrible life full of trauma and despair but I pulled myself up by my bootstraps, pushed down all my feelings and now I'm completely fine. You need to do that too. Talking about your problems doesn't help. It just makes you a selfish, indulgent loser. Suck it up and get on with it.'

They are clearly not fine and I wouldn't take mental health advice from them.

The alternative is to sort the problem out by taking time for yourself.

This is precisely why, as a qualified therapist, I am trying my best to escape it!

Depends on the individual. You've got your own approach. My issue was with that poster applying her opinions to everyone.

Well, the alternative for me was to continue doing all these things and have six sessions of therapy to help me figure out why I was feeling overwhelmed, what external beliefs I internalised as my own which led me to experiencing what I was experiencing, how to challenge them, how to set boundaries, how to actually feel better for setting boundaries, how to allow myself to rest without feeling guilty etc. etc.
And not once did we bring up the past or blamed my parents.
People go to therapy for many reasons. It doesn't have to take years, it doesn't have to happen because we can't function at all. But if you can function better having explored some of the unhelpful coping behaviours you acquired as a course of your life, why wouldn't you?
At the end of the day, it's up to me how to spend my money.

Evenings, weekends, holidays?

I’ve had therapy in the past and what I’ve learned is that I don’t need therapy, so money well spent.

I recently said to a good friend that perhaps we needed therapy about some shared issues we have and her response was “no, just keep it buried, and don’t let it resurface. Works for me”.

I’ve got to say, it’s working so far 😂

Exactly these type of people always think theyre fine and they got on with it but if you ask friends/ family/colleagues you get a different story about that person

Exactly these type of people always think theyre fine and they got on with it but if you ask friends/ family/colleagues you get a different story about that person

My experience and observation has been that what happens in the US eventually makes its way over to the UK - and therapy is just one the things we've adopted.

I'm old enough to remember when we Brits used to be bemused by the prevalence of therapy in the United States. It seemed that everyone there had a therapist and, to us on this side of the pond, it seemed rather odd and definitely not the sort of thing that would ever catch on over here...

I also remember when we felt the same way about drive-thrus, baby showers, school proms, nursery graduation ceremonies and trick-or-treating. We were also amazed by American portion sizes and how very overweight many of its citizens were becoming.

I largely agree with this.

i think there are times when counselling/therapy can be beneficial but Im amazed at the first post on this thread which says they've never seen it suggested for anything thats not valid!!!

Ive seen it suggested for completely inappropriate things like someone just not liking something or wanting to do something which really has no effect on their life but which other people think isnt normal, or isnt right!!!!

I hope anyone reading this who is considering therapy, or who is attending therapy won’t feel belittled or shamed. Different therapies can be remarkably effective in certain situations and no one should feel shame for reaching out for help.

This attitude that everyone should be able to pull themselves up by their bootstraps belongs firmly in the last century where it inflicted so much harm. We don’t expect people to ignore advances in medicine or dentistry or physiotherapy. Why should people be shamed for availing of therapies like CBT and ACT with proven outcomes?

OP, why so hostile about something you don't feel you need? If you're fine without it, why is it taking up any of your mental space?

Tbh, your posts show quite a high level of ignorance about therapy and why people might need and benefit from it, as do a few other posts on the thread. You're not displaying very much emotional intelligence/insight or empathy in your posts, and you seem to be confusing what therapy does with coaching. They're different.

I found it utterly life-changing, though I do appreciate others don't always have a positive experience, and not all therapists are good. My therapist was amazing. At one point when we were working together and discussing the person in my family who is difficult, she made the observation that it's usually the 'wrong' people in the family who go to therapy, in that it's never the ones who are damaging others who go (why would they, there's clearly nothing wrong with them, it's everyone else who's the problem...) - it's always the ones who are damaged who go to therapy to try to heal.

Maybe something for you to ponder.

I agree, it's a very old-fashioned mindset that I had hoped was fading into the past.

Unfortunately there are a lot of grifters out there in the therapy and counselling world. I've had a few bad experiences and because of this I wouldn't recommend private therapy or counselling to anyone.

To be honest lost counselling is a waste of money and time , I see more issues from it that what it helps . It’s a American thing and was bound to become fashion over the pond