to be fed up with how little I can eat now I’m menopausal?

[menno]

Since hitting menopause my metabolism seems to have just given up. I have to live on salads and protein twice a day to keep my weight stable.

I do weight training 3–4 times a week and exercise regularly. I guess that helps otherwise I would gain weight.

Last week I went out for a birthday dinner and also had afternoon tea and cake and I’ve put on 2kg. Now I have to go straight back to being super strict, like fish/meat and vegetables every night just to shift it again.

Pre-menopause I could eat more without watching everything. If I did gain, it would drop easily. Now it is hard work.

DH and teen DC put away huge amounts of food and I have to watch everything I am eating.

AIBU to find this really depressing and restrictive?

My Gran in her 90s still obsesses over being thin. It's just sad.

Yeah it’s shit. I gain if I exceed 1300 calories a day.

I haven’t put weight on but I never eat carbs or sugar. I’m eating 3 times a day as well.

I don't want to be thin in my old age, but I do want to be mobile and healthy. I want to enjoy retirement and have the energy to actually enjoy it. I want to run around in the park with my grandkids, if I have any, and not worry about breaking a hip.

I went to Mallorca a few weeks ago and saw a group of women celebrating someone's 80th. It must have been a family as they were all different ages, all dressed up as OAPs. It took us a while, but we eventually worked out that the birthday girl was the one on the stage waving her inflatable walker above her head. I want that in my old age. That woman is now my retirement goal.

To get it, I have to stay healthy now, and that means weightlifting and eating right to protect my mobility, muscle mass, and bone density. I still enjoy the odd meal out, I still have holidays and eat whatever the fuck I want while I'm away, but the rest of the time I eat well and work out to protect my health so I can keep going on those holidays and enjoying meals out with friends/family.

Sounds awful

I just want to sit around smoking and eating cheese and doughnuts once I hit 80.

Try to keep carbs under 150g and only eat carbs that are high in fibre.

I am exactly the same.
Only a virtual starvation diet just to maintain. It’s depressing !
I can’t eat sweet things, cut out crisis, very few trays just won’t shift.

Also this thread is not about being fit and healthy. It's about being thin, specifically. I would argue that if you won't eat more than 1200 calories a day because you might end up being more than 8.5 stone, you won't be particularly healthy as you won't be getting anything like the optimum amount of nutrients.

No thanks, I like white bread and pasta 👍

I am late 50s. I am a power lifter. I lift heavy. I am 5’3” and weigh 53kg. I have visible muscle mass and am stronger than I have ever been. I am significantly stronger than most of the women in my gym other than those who are competing.

I eat like a small rodent. I try to prioritise protein but my meals consist of one ‘normal’ meal. By normal think chickeb breast and vege and one mini meal (aka snack) but I must be some sort of anomaly or the wise lords of nutritional advice are just wrong as if I eat more I gain body fat.

Why is eating 3 x a day awful?

You are doing weight training 3-4 times a week on top of other exercise yes? You said you can have 1700 kcal which is a lot of kcal for your height.

So you are going to weigh more than the BMI scale ‘allows’ because you have extra muscle mass.

Muscle is the heavier than fat.

You are also increasing your bone density, which will mean you will be heavier than the average osteopenic woman of your age the BMI scale for your age would have been based on.

In short, yes you are heavier but in a good way. The BMI scale for menopausal women doesn’t exclude the former high rates of osteoporotic unfit women who were biologically older even though it is newer than the original 200yr old one when most of the population was malnourished, stunted, and lived shorter lives.

You should ignore the scale and go by how your clothes fit and how you feel in terms of fitness level.

Your food restrictive behaviours seem overly strict to me. (I am also menopausal and short so I’m not writing as a younger woman with no idea of what you are going through). Please try and relax on calories and focus more on nutrients and avoiding carcinogenic foods.

It was the never eating carbs or sugar bit mate.

People eating 700-1000 calories a day are unlikely to be living longer or healthier (or happier) life than someone who's slightly overweight.

You don't get diabetes and heart attacks from simply being a bit overweight. If you eat a varied and healthy 1500-2000 calories a day with occasional treats, manage your blood sugar and get your exercise in then there's no reason you should be getting diabetes or suffering heart attacks.

Because some of us really like the way we look and wish to maintain that sort of body shape into our old age. Why is that looked down upon.

I don’t want to ‘ooof’ when I sit down or have to use my arms to help me up. I like being able to jump up onto a counter to change the lightbulbs. I also like being able to carry 20kg bags of dog food in from the delivery van.

i train hard in the gym and am strong. I also like to be able to choose clothes that I like rather than what fits me and hide bits I don’t like.

Yep. Anything over 1100 calories a day and I’m gaining. It’s so bloody depressing.

People eating like that are not about being healthy, they are about being thin.

This thread is not about being thin. It is about how hard it is to lose weight or maintain when menopausal.

Ok well, I have no desire to carry around 20kg bags of dog food, nor to jump up on the kitchen side to change a light bulb, but you do realise that the choice isn't eating 1200 calories a day consisting of chicken and beans, OR being morbidly obese and unable to move in one's old age, don't you.

I beg to differ given the frankly disturbing amount of disordered eating and body dysmorphia dressed up as concern for health.

I don't eat 1200 calories a day, I eat closer to 1600, but that is because I am in recovery from ED and find it hard to actually meet my calorie goals, which should be closer to 2200/2300 calories a day on heavy days and 1800 on rest/light days.

1200 is not enough to meet your nutritional requirements in terms of macro or micronutrients.

I agree and yet multiple people on this thread are claiming they cannot eat as much as 1200 calories, or even less.

Which I would argue has nothing to do with being healthy and everything to do with being thin.

Yes being fit and strong is great, I love the gym. But that's not what this thread is about. And if maintaining the way you look leads to eating toddler sized amount of foods from menopause until death then I personally would reconsider my values.

I was joking. PP said to eat 1.5 times body weight in protein.
If body weight was 60kg that would be 90kg of protein.

I know what she means obv!