‘I don’t like this day!’

[Enterausernamecomeon]

Really struggling with my child at the moment.
Took her for a lovely day out today, bike ride, big ice cream and the arcades. She played games and won some sweets. As we were heading to go home, she was looking in a shop at some toys and bags, I told her we weren’t buying anything as had had a lovely day out with ice cream and had lots of treats in the Easter holidays (which she did) She kept going on and on, I was saying no and starting to get angry. She eventually came out of the shop and back to the car with me and was saying how she was not happy and this was not a good day. I find it so upsetting, she constantly wants things and I have to warn her in advance that we aren’t buying toys/extra sweets/anything today, even just a basic trip to the supermarket is stressful. Is this normal? I feel like i’m raising a spoilt child and don’t know how to stop it.
Parenting was so much easier when she was little, everything is a battle now
Please can anyone advise what you would do in situations like this?

She’s almost 8

I think you keep saying no as you are doing, and just ignore the moaning and “this wasn’t a nice day”. Try to stay firm but breezy about it.

The may say “it wasn’t a good day” but I bet they look back on it as one.

They’ll only be spoiled if you do give in and buy the things they are pestering for. To a certain extent it’s just children, irritating and frustrating as it is.

My 6 year old can say I’ve ruined his day if I don’t buy something he wanted,

Explain that buying things in shops cost money and there isn’t an infinite pot

So she doesn’t sound particularly spoilt and awful?
As a child, I would have been so happy with a day like this and the life she leads, she always wants more, it’s hard not to feel cross with her about it. I have said before that she should appreciate all the lovely things she has and gets to do as some children don’t have a lot and would be happy with one toy-is it wrong to say that?

I’ve said so many times that people don’t have enough money to buy things all the time. Tired of arguing in shops with her, it used to be lovely going shopping with her, now i’m starting to avoid it

I hung out with my nephews the other day and the 8 year old veered wildly between ‘best day ever’ (being allowed to play on a video game) to ‘worst day ever’ (having to wait for play equipment) to ‘best day ever’ (getting a brownie after a pub lunch) back to ‘worst day ever’ (being told he wasn’t allowed to eat a dog biscuit).
they are fickle and just expressing an immediate emotion/response. Try to breeze past these outburst, both extreme positive and negative, acknowledge that yes that was great fun or yes it’s a bit disappointing and then shift the conversation along.

Haha, this thread reminded me of my DD when she was younger. If she didn’t get her own way on something would cry ‘this is the worst day of my life!’ So dramatic!! It does get better 😂

I was cross/upset with her, perhaps I overreacted but I really can’t stand a rude, spoilt child and don’t want to raise one 😔

My son is 7 and a day where’s he been absolutely spoiled often turns into the worst day as soon as he doesn’t get something. It’s so frustrating!

When exactly 😂

Really normal for her age! Taking a photo of the thing they want and saying they can ask for it for their birthday/put it on Christmas list helps sometimes

It really is! I wasn’t a perfect child, but I remember being so easily pleased with the smallest things

Yeah, don’t say that. It means nothing to an 8 year old, and builds resentment. You could try giving her a budget for the day. Tell her you have x amount to spend for the day and point out the cost of things. My daughter loved that. She also was told “we could buy x, or we can afford to have dinner tonight” if she was getting ahead of herself.

Now I feel a bit guilty I was so upset with her

Telling your daughter before you go out that you won't be purchasing items, beyond an ice-cream is a good idea. If she asks for something, say 'The answer is No, I spoke to you about this before we left today'. Keep reiterating the same sentence. If she starts moaning, ignore it. If she starts saying 'today hasn't been a good day' etc, ignore it. Your daughter is trying to emotional blackmail you into feelings guilty, so you'll give in!!

Children aren't stupid. If she thinks by moaning, keeping asking or saying things that she knows will upset you, is likely to make you give in, then she'll keep doing it!

The only way your daughter will end up a spoilt brat, is if you give in to her demands! Yes, it's exhausting having to keep repeating the same sentence, like a broken record, but eventually the penny will drop.... it's not working and she'll stop!!

Isn’t it important they realise they are fortunate though and that others aren’t always as fortunate? I just want her to appreciate things I suppose, but maybe I am expecting too much

My DD doesn’t tantrum but she does always ask for stuff in shops, I say no but if she’s really keen we ‘add’ it to her birthday/christmas list. She takes a photo of it on my phone and then it’s on the list and she can move on. Obviously she doesn’t get everything on her list, but the act of doing something snaps her out of it

Yes exactly, this is exactly what I do. She was particularly rude and argumentative today and it honestly ruined a nice day. Perhaps I was roo harsh on her afterwards

Does she have her own money at all? 50p a week pocket money or birthday money from grandparents or whatever? From a young age I would ask mine if they had their money with them; and if they could afford/wanted to spend it on that (tat). It’s a good way to learn the value of things - esp later when they is something they could have bought but ‘you remember you spent all your pennies on that bouncy ball that you never played with again…’

Pocket money then they need to make decisions about what to spend it on.

warning this does mean you spend bloody hours in gift shops while they decide between two similar looking toys but at least they aren’t whinging

She was probably knackered at the end of the lovely but very stimulating day, we can all get grouchy when tired.

I wouldn't feel guilty because whilst it's normal for kids to act ungrateful it's also normal for them to see that acting ungrateful and rude will upset people.

Yes she does have a little money, but is saving it at home at the moment, which is good, but means she doesn’t want to spend her own money and asks for things all the time for me to buy

Ah well that perfect then, just say no because you are saving up for something that will be good for her too ‘no, just like you are saving up for x, mummy is saving up for a holiday/cinema trip/new paddling pool/whatever’.

It’s obviously not great behaviour but as long as you aren’t giving in to it, I think she’ll come through in the end.

I agree with others re pocket money too. And make some of it dependent on chores (or that’s what I do).

My DS has at times been terrible for wanting to buy things, sometimes not even for the thing itself but for the dopamine hit of it. But having his own pocket money (not loads) to regulate himself really helps. He’s quite good at saving for things he really wants now.

I think kids get frustrated sometimes that they don’t have any control over the money side of things (rightly of course in terms of any thing more than pocket money level) but having a bit of their own money helps.

Didn’t think of that, good idea