Not fit to be in charge of a child

[HelloDenise]

I'm at a football match. Next to us is a guy of indeterminate age and a little girl about 6. He's got very few teeth, made a roll up during the game, smells like smoke and alcohol. This is a description, in the same way broccoli is green, before someone has a go about being judgemental. I'm guessing he's her grandfather.

He's sworn and yelled throughout the game in front of the child. She's wandering about and has totally ignored all the "Come here Chardonnay" instructions.

He's been yelling F, B, C words for almost 90 minutes. "Fuckin bang another one in eh Chardonnay". The referee has been called a wanker at least 20 times.

Yes it's unsuitable. I have a relative who has an 8 year old son. Her partner, the kid's step- parent; and I know they're just kidding on and joking with the kid but they are always saying to them things like like "what are you doing, you fucking little tit" and so on. It bothers me and I think I'll have to say something as it's completely inappropriate. The partner talks to me like that and I tell them to shut up and not speak to me like that. It's demeaning, even if said jokingly, and an 8 year old might feel the same way but be unable to stand up for themselves

Are the child's needs being met? If he is too drunk to do this then you should call the police as this is a criminal offence. If it's just that he's too rough and sweary, that is a temporary situation that won't harm her.

Yeah there are some people who absolutely sounds like twats OP.

Sadly you see this stuff all the time. It mystifies me why some people bother having kids at all (accepting this was the grandfather). Surely their sorry lives would be easier, given they seem to treat kids like an annoyance.

Is it at an official football ground or a local 5 aside/kids match??
At premier league games I've heard that sort of language nearly every time even in the family sections. It'd totally wrong for kids to have to grow up with that but for many men̈ its very much 'what happens at football stays at football'.
We went to.a.match and were near the away supporters (cheap tickets through the school scheme) and the language and tge aggression from both sets of supporters, toward each other, was shocking. Our younger DS was distressed by it, I did inform the school and complained to the club.

While I personally think it's disgusting behaviour it doesn't really surprise me in this day and age. It really is a shame how these anti social people's behaviour seems to trump those that just want to go about their daily lives without having to listen to it, say something to them and you'll probably get a mouthful or worse.
But that's a part of society the Government and authorities are happy to turn a blind eye to.

I also think here on MN the words judgment, judgmental and judgy are very much over used. If your description is correct it's fact, you've made an observation.

"Chardonnay" but you're not being judgemental 😂

🤷‍♀️ some people are rough as toast. What can you do. As long as she’s not in direct danger (eg he’s actually too drunk to care for her) then it’s not your business.

And his lack of teeth 🤣

Was she actually called Chardonnay?

Some of her reasons for saying he’s not fit are totally fair observations, smelling of drink for example. His lack of teeth make no difference to anything, and ‘Chardonnay’ is pretty judgemental if that’s not her actual name. She’s judging the guy using her observations, if she was just observing she wouldn’t be posting it on here

What exactly is it that makes him unfit?

And yet, if you take the swearing out of it…

she was with her grandfather.
at an activity presumably they both love.
no sign of neglect / abuse.
as you’ve not mentioned it I’m assuming she’s appropriately clothed and doesn’t look like she’s been starved.

so what you have left that you don’t like is the language. And his lack of dental hygiene,

can you imagine if swearing was the threshold to remove children from a family?

She said he smelled of drink, not that he was drunk.

Plenty of MNetters are on the wine by the afternoon (and 6am Xmas morning).

It only takes one glass to make the breath smell.

Be honest though you are judging his toothlessness or you wouldn't have bothered mentioning it. I'll go a bit off- topic but I've been judged for this. I had some bridgework and a crown come apart and fall out and I hadn't got to the dentist yet so I had front teeth missing when my son then aged about 10 was jumping around the living room and smashed his face off the coffee table.

He had a bad cut above his lip needing stitches. I never had a lot of money but I always made sure my son was dressed well, better than me. The doctor looked at his nice winter jumper and said, "did your gran buy you that ?" Then she asked my son if I had hit him. She wouldn't let me leave and accused me of hitting my son saying the cut was unusual.

I know it's because of how I looked because of the comment on his jumper as if I was too rubbish/ low class to have bought him a nice jumper/ expensive clothes

The swearing isn't great but his lack of dental integrity is a nice added, if totally immaterial flourish @HelloDenise

ETA my grandfather had full dentures (like most of his generation) by retirement age. Never heard him swear, ever. The 2 things are not linked.

Did he drive there? If he stinks of alcohol then that’s the most concerning part.

No!

So you gave her that name? Shocker🙄

Well I'm not going to post her real name and identify the child am I? That really would be a "shocker".

I do wonder if Grandpa answered to Hugo, was wearing a Barbour, had great teeth and swore with immaculate vowels at the rugby whether OP would have come up with such a compelling pen picture.

No child is going to be identifiable from their first name, unless it's really, really unusual. Choosing 'Chardonnay' rather than 'X' does say something about you.

Giving it wide-eyes just makes you look even sillier OP.

I'm assuming it's not a professional football match the OP is at. They don't sound at all the sort of person who attends games regularly.

Most people are there to enjoy the football, rather than judge their fellow spectators on how chavvy they are.

Perhaps you'd be better off watching polo, OP.

It’s a criminal offence to be drunk in charge of a child. If he’s absolutely steaming then I would find an officer and just mention it to him (there’s usually a few milling around matches)