Not fit to be in charge of a child

[HelloDenise]

I'm at a football match. Next to us is a guy of indeterminate age and a little girl about 6. He's got very few teeth, made a roll up during the game, smells like smoke and alcohol. This is a description, in the same way broccoli is green, before someone has a go about being judgemental. I'm guessing he's her grandfather.

He's sworn and yelled throughout the game in front of the child. She's wandering about and has totally ignored all the "Come here Chardonnay" instructions.

He's been yelling F, B, C words for almost 90 minutes. "Fuckin bang another one in eh Chardonnay". The referee has been called a wanker at least 20 times.

LMAO I nearly ran over two kids on my bike because their wanker 'father' who was just like this, dragged them into the road without even fucking looking at the traffic. I said 'father of the year' and he started screaming and swearing and threatening me lmao. It's so sad, but there isn't really much you can do.

The swearing alone to that extent is an issue for me.
He sounds appalling. Whether he swears for effect, or just because he is uncouth and has no standards is neither here nor there.
I would have said something I am afraid. And told him to cut the swearing out.

only reason someone on MN would call you judgemental for this is because they married or bred with a 'man' like the description. Honestly how can you lose teeth when toothpaste costs 50p and the NHS offers subsidised care. if he can't look after his own teeth he shouldn't be in charge of a kid

yeah OP you vile SNOB to think some toothless crackhead who can't even care for his own teeth shouldn't be in charge of a child. OP IS A POSH TORY!!!

what are you trying to say? that CHARDONNAY is not a glorious and beautiful, classy name for a young girl? sounds like you're the snob to me

@Uricon2. If you repeatedly swore at the rugby you would be kicked out, and I don’t mean by tge stewards, the fans police language, I’ve heard people get a dressing down by neighbouring fans with a “we are not a football match”, very quickly too. Never feel threaten at rugby whereas at football it’s a different story

Why have you decided to add in lies? She didn’t say or suggest he’s a ‘crackhead’

You sound snobby and don't seem to understand football culture. I don't see why someone who drinks, smokes, swears and has missing teeth is unsuitable to look after a child. Perhaps you could elaborate?

I was at an amateur panto once where a woman was cheering on one of the dancers. Very loudly. Every time the girl came on stage. Tbf she only started swearing when other people tried to hush her.

You think it's absolutely fine to use homophobic slurs in front of and in conversation with a small girl and casually swear in conversation with her? Ok then. I'll be "snobby".

You think it's only confined to football and he turns into textbook grandad when they leave the ground?

I've been going to football since I was about this girl's age with my own grandad and dad. They never carried on like this. Maybe "things change", though, eh? Time's moved on and all that?

It was very unusual yesterday. I don't have a season ticket but we do sit roughly around the same area. There are always several multi generations there and I've not heard anything like this before. Maybe a gang of blokes, yes, but not families.

You haven't answered my question and that's because you can't. Someone is not fit to look after a child when there are safeguarding risks not when they have different cultural norms, morals, values and lifestyle from you. You don't have to be a model citizen to look after a child.

@Owly11 I don't have to answer your question. You're not my line manager. But I will, because I can.

I think someone who behaves in that way is a terrible role model and bad influence and absolutely not someone I would want around my child. Leave your kids with Grandad if you want but I'll pass, ta.

sounds like my father (except not a day went by when my father didn’t point out overweight people in public and rant about how disgusting they were)

Anyway I turned out fine.

My parents at least had better taste in baby names though

Mn always races to say you’re a judgemental snob but honestly, yes fine, I think we should judge people who behave like this. In reality, our dc in state school will have to mix with these kids who, through no fault of there own, have no idea how to behave because of the poor role models they’ve grown up with around them. We need to realise, it’s okay and natural to judge and these kind of observations should be shocking.

Now you're changing the goal posts. You are perfectly entitled to decide who your child is around and I don't have a problem with that whatsoever. But that is a completely different question to your thread title that asks whether this man is fit to look after a child. And no, of course you don't have to answer my question, but since you are asserting that this man is unfit to look after a child on a public forum then do expect people to ask for evidence or to back up your assertion. And if you can't back up your assertion then also expect people to disagree with your assertion. Words matter and I for one don't want to live in a world in which another person can be accused of behaviour that should result in the removal of their children from their care when such an accusation is based on the feelings and judgement of that person rather than on a factual assessment of whether someone is a safeguarding risk.

I really think you need to wind your neck in. In what way exactly this child is being abused or neglected? A lot of people drink, smoke and swear - this does not make them bad instantly.

I feel there is a lot of class judgement going on here. He cared enough about the kid to take her to the match, and look after her while they are there.

My granddad did not swear but he drank and smoked a lot - and I went with him fishing every weekend. Best bloody time I had in my life.

I got bored of fishing! I took a book with me!