Not fit to be in charge of a child

[HelloDenise]

I'm at a football match. Next to us is a guy of indeterminate age and a little girl about 6. He's got very few teeth, made a roll up during the game, smells like smoke and alcohol. This is a description, in the same way broccoli is green, before someone has a go about being judgemental. I'm guessing he's her grandfather.

He's sworn and yelled throughout the game in front of the child. She's wandering about and has totally ignored all the "Come here Chardonnay" instructions.

He's been yelling F, B, C words for almost 90 minutes. "Fuckin bang another one in eh Chardonnay". The referee has been called a wanker at least 20 times.

Fair enough we'll have to agree to disagree about the breath smell.

By calling the child Chardonnay for the purposes of the post you sound snobby. You could have picked any other name.

If this was a middle class man he'd just be seen as enjoying the camaraderie. Football matches are full of bad language and shouting. Not my scene but each to their own.

Ah. Yes. And this is the reason I was told to'go away, you f-ing fat c' by a 6yo in clinic recently.

Kids learn what they hear.

I don't think you need teeth to be able to care adequately for a child. And so what if the kid has a 'chavvy' name. I thought football used to be very popular among the working class?

The only issue is swearing but that happened all the time at football so to single out one person and say they're literally unsafe around kids because they said fuck...is a bit much.

Ha ha ha! Leicester fan here and you’re not wrong! My dad took me to the football as a kid. There was one rule - I could join in the songs etc as much as I liked, but only at football. If that language was heard outside of the football I was getting a smack!

Chardonnay was better than the double barrelled name this "fan" called the little girl. And @JLou08 No he wouldn't. Not in my opinion anyhow.

Oh yeah not judgemental at all. And why is he a “fan” rather than a fan?

@BillieWiper He didn't just say that. We lost count of the number of times he said that but there was a lot more. He shouted poof, wanker, C**t, twat, bastard several times throughout the whole game.

He swore several times when talking to the child. "He's fucking milking it". "Fuckin bang another one in eh Chardonnay". She's going to grow up thinking it's normal to call men a poof, to eat fast food and throw the wrapping on the ground and to swear at people in conversation. It's sad.

Those of you thinking this is ok, and even more so about poor old grandad who you're defending simply because you think I'm "judgy", then I feel very sad about you, too.

I was brought up better than that.

Did you actually do anything to help this kid? You talk like you’ve got the moral high ground. Nobody has said this guy is perfect, but none of us are, including judgypants.

I don't think that sounds OK but I wouldn't let it ruin my day out. It's football not Glyndebourne.

That kind of swearing is obviously inappropriate in front of a child. But smelling of smoke or drink?
It sent me back to 10 years or so ago, when in the summer, after football training, as a group of largely middle class parents we would sometimes hang out afterwards in the sun with bottles of wine and some food. I'm sure the odd person smoked, but that was probably ok, because they were deemed middle class and had teeth?

Why "Chardonnay" and not "Lucy/Emily/Olivia" then? You were totally being judgemental and wanted to reinforce a stereotype.
FWIW a friend of mine who referees at the local U16 matches has recently made a formal complaint to a club about the behaviour of one of the parents....an accountant btw.

Sadly this is quite common near me. I don’t swear in front of my children but they regularly hear people swearing on buses, in the street, at local youth clubs etc. I’m also a foster carer and none of what you’ve said would concern social services, unless he was actually staggering around drunk which it doesn’t sound like he was.

Yes of course but the difference is it's not their own family member validating and normalising the terrible language.

Chardonnay was better than the double barrelled name this "fan" called the little girl.

Just face it, you were acting like a dick to use Chardonnay when you could've picked any name at all.

The denial just makes you look even sillier.

Whatever. It makes no difference if she is named Destinee-Mae, Chardonnay, Araminta or Tallulah, her grandfather is still a prat.

But probably willing to admit it when he's called out on being a prat.

We'll never know.

Football fans drinking, swearing etc isn't a new thing. Behaviour has actually hugely improved in the last 40 years or so.

And that's exactly why I was gobsmacked at this yesterday.

The swearing would bother me. It's horrible to listen to and children shouldn't be exposed to it. Most of the rest of the information is irrelevant. He is watching his grand daughter play. The fact that he is so nasty about the ref implies that he is protective towards his GD and wants the best for her. It's a strange way to show love but that's how some people are. I wouldn't say he is unfit to mind her but I would say he is unfit to stand in a group of parents and children and speak that way, but that's not going to change.

I've seen many more polished MC parents raging at referees, shouting abusively during matches and bullying coaches to prioritise their children so I don't think he is alone in this way.

I don’t think the little girl was actually playing in the championships

Not sure his 6 year old grand daughter plays for Leicesters men’s team, but that’s an interesting take…

No the little girl was a spectator at a championship game! The man was swearing in conversation with her about the players, the game and the ref.

As for the childish person who called me "judgypants", I presume that person missed the fact that the guy was shouting homophobic insults. At least I'd hope so I'd hate to think the PP is actually ok with that.