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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Has anyone gone no or low contact over a pet dispute? Help!

68 replies

BeBreezyPlum · 18/04/2026 10:11

DP's neice claims her pet is better than DD's because it uses a litter tray. It sounds silly but DD is truly upset (she loves her pet greatly) and it has all escalated. At this point I can't see any option but going NC. AIBU?

OP posts:
MrMucker · 18/04/2026 15:29

Could somebody perhaps settle this by crocheting a fancy nappy for the more delinquent cat?
Also, why has noone yet suggested raising all of this with the pastoral lead at school, who is worked off their arse but nonetheless paid handsomely to investigate precisely these sorts of matters?!

PinkNailPolish2026 · 18/04/2026 15:35

HoskinsChoice · 18/04/2026 14:38

This thread needs deleting. When things are as serious as this, if Trump gets sight of it, there's a legitimate chance he might start bombing Pets At Home.

Shhhh don’t give him ideas 🤣

BeBreezyPlum · 18/04/2026 20:41

I'll step away from this thread now. Thanks to those who have thought about this seriously, even if some of the views have been a bit critical. It appears other posters think it is a joke and I think it is best to leave it here.

All the best to everyone.

OP posts:
ThiswasamistakeDr · 18/04/2026 21:24

BeBreezyPlum · 18/04/2026 20:41

I'll step away from this thread now. Thanks to those who have thought about this seriously, even if some of the views have been a bit critical. It appears other posters think it is a joke and I think it is best to leave it here.

All the best to everyone.

Are we talking bunnies?

TittyGajillions · 18/04/2026 21:35

Bunnies aren't just cute
Like everybody supposes!
They got them hoppy legs
And twitchy little noses!
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Bunnies! bunnies!
It must be bunnies!!

Xanadu78 · 18/04/2026 21:37

Both of your pets are shit! There solved it!

KidsAndDogsGalore · 18/04/2026 21:54

BeBreezyPlum · 18/04/2026 10:11

DP's neice claims her pet is better than DD's because it uses a litter tray. It sounds silly but DD is truly upset (she loves her pet greatly) and it has all escalated. At this point I can't see any option but going NC. AIBU?

My pet is the best! It can go on command in a place of my choosing. Luckily my family isn't judging by anyone's pets abilities or I would be very lonely. Only because I actually do have the best pet in the world!

BeBreezyPlum · 19/04/2026 06:43

TittyGajillions · 18/04/2026 21:35

Bunnies aren't just cute
Like everybody supposes!
They got them hoppy legs
And twitchy little noses!
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Bunnies! bunnies!
It must be bunnies!!

Ibsen, right? But in a translation I'm not familiar with.

Anyway, yes DR'S pet is a bunny.

DD's is a pygmy.

OP posts:
BeBreezyPlum · 19/04/2026 06:44

BeBreezyPlum · 19/04/2026 06:43

Ibsen, right? But in a translation I'm not familiar with.

Anyway, yes DR'S pet is a bunny.

DD's is a pygmy.

Goat. A pygmy goat.

OP posts:
Londonrach1 · 19/04/2026 06:48

How childish. Take it children are 2 and under.

Anyway ...My pet chicken who is litter trained just said you all wrong she better than your pets as she lays breakfast 🍳

emz1990 · 19/04/2026 07:01

TittyGajillions · 18/04/2026 21:35

Bunnies aren't just cute
Like everybody supposes!
They got them hoppy legs
And twitchy little noses!
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Bunnies! bunnies!
It must be bunnies!!

Must admit I sang along while reading this 🤣

BeBreezyPlum · 19/04/2026 07:16

But it wasn't bunnies, was it?

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 19/04/2026 07:42

😆

SleepingStandingUp · 19/04/2026 07:48

If your SIL is competitive then just take the wind out of her sails.
"my front door is so much better than your door"
"I'm glad you're happy with the door you have"
"I am cos mine is better"
"I'm glad you think that"
"do you think mine is better?"
"it's not about me, it's your door"

Teach your daughter similarly.

If this is genuinely putting your marriage at risk, yo u have bigger issues. I'd advise therapy

jacks11 · 19/04/2026 08:24

How old are these children? It’s a storm in a tea cup- one child tells another her pet is the best/better than the other child’s pet is hardly uncommon behaviour in children (even if it is a little unkind). Your DD is going to come across similar situations in the future, because this other little girl is not behaving way off the scale of usual childhood behaviour.

Don’t you think that you need to model how to handle disagreements- even one where feelings are hurt- in a reasonable manner, rather than jump to the nuclear option? I think if your first reaction over your DD being upset is to decide permanent NC- especially given it is a family member of your DP’s- you are significantly over-reacting. She doesn’t need to be this girl’s best friend, but there is a stage in between that and NC, surely? I think you are over-reacting to your upset at seeing your DD’s feelings being hurt- you need to put your feelings to one side and help your daughter learn how to manage this situation well, rather than ramp up the volume unnecessarily.

If you don’t manage this sort of thing properly, your DD won’t develop the social skills to manage disagreements/conflicts etc appropriately- it’s something we all need to learn to navigate. That doesn’t mean ignoring the upset or teaching her to be a doormat. Surely, the best way to deal with this would be to acknowledge that this other girl has said something somewhat unkind about your DD’s pet, which wasn’t a particularly nice thing to do, but reassure her that as long as DD thinks her pet is wonderful that is all that really matters in the end. I’d explain that the best thing to do is ignore the girl’s comments, or simply state that she thinks her pet is amazing and leave it at that- and going forward she doesn’t have to be friends if she doesn’t want to be, but they can manage to be in the same room as each other in the future.

Life is going to be infinitely harder if she learns that the only response to someone upsetting you is to cut all contact with them, rather than either try to resolve the disagreement, or maintain a polite distance if that can’t be achieved. NC should only be a last resort after repeated problems, or after a really significant one. A child saying her pet is the best really is not in the latter category.

jacks11 · 19/04/2026 08:33

Hold on, read your update- if your marriage is in jeopardy over this little spat then your marriage was in a very poor place before this situation occurred. Or, you are totally, utterly over-reacting to such an extent that I think you need help to learn how to resolve conflict, in order to parent your child appropriately, if nothing else.

Easilyforgotten · 19/04/2026 17:35

Another option is just to say 'so you've said' on repeat. You're neither agreeing or disagreeing, and hopefully the digs will get very stale, very quickly. Possibly an easier tactic for adults than children though.
Might also work with your husband.........🤔

ThiswasamistakeDr · 19/04/2026 17:37

BeBreezyPlum · 19/04/2026 06:44

Goat. A pygmy goat.

Why didn’t you say so. Tell your DD from us that goats are definitely better than bunnies. That’s the law

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